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ME MYSELF I - The pros & cons of the solo life

 
 
InTraNsiTiOn
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 05:26 pm
Grand Duke wrote:
Finally split after 14 months, but continued sharing the house for 2 months after that. We even shared a bed for most of that time because both of us were too stubborn to move to the sofa!


I considered something like that, but I don't think that would work, because it's already mostly like that. Only we havn't officially broke up....ohhh and we don't have a sofa yet...lol
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 06:08 pm
I watched a science program on the ABC last week which suggested the first "romantic" phases of love are similar to madness! A trick played on us by nature to encourage procreation. And, of coures, it doesn't last. It's all a trick! If only I'd known this earlier! Laughing :wink:

Meanwhile, seeing as we're comparing notes here, I'm at the stage where I'm seriously wondering if I ever want to experience this insanity again! Certainly EXTREMELY nervous about contemplating such a thought, after picking up most of the msolga bits & pieces after my last, long episode! Smile
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Grand Duke
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 06:13 pm
How long has it taken you, MsOlga?

After 3.5 years, I think I've got all my bits and pieces back together now (hopefully in the right places) but the urge to seek a woman is sadly lacking. Don't get me wrong, I still find women as attractive as ever, but that's about as far as I can be arsed to take it. Apathy seems to have struck and stuck.
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 06:16 pm
For me too GD. I am a fairly apathetic (typo!) person, but this is ridiculous! Actually, I just really don't feel good about myself and that makes it hard for me to want other's to get to know me. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm a good person, but I just don't feel that I'm the best that I can be.
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 06:22 pm
Grand Duke wrote:
How long has it taken you, MsOlga?

After 3.5 years, I think I've got all my bits and pieces back together now (hopefully in the right places) but the urge to seek a woman is sadly lacking. Don't get me wrong, I still find women as attractive as ever, but that's about as far as I can be arsed to take it. Apathy seems to have struck and stuck.


Well after 20 years ( Shocked ) of relationship, complicated by the fact that the relationship was on & off for a number of years ( Rolling Eyes ), it's taken something like 5 years ... mind you a lot of that 5 years was dominated by important things, like buying a new house after the old one was sold, work concerns, etc, etc ... After going throuh all THAT, it's a very, very tricky business to consider "merging" the almost new OK you with another, again! You see my point? :wink:
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 06:28 pm
littlek wrote:
For me too GD. I am a fairly apathetic (typo!) person, but this is ridiculous! Actually, I just really don't feel good about myself and that makes it hard for me to want other's to get to know me. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm a good person, but I just don't feel that I'm the best that I can be.


Yeah, it IS hard when you're feeling like that, littlek. I'm sorry that's that's how things are for you right now. I think you're a WONDERFUL person, but hell, when the ol' self doubts set in, well, it aint easy, is it? Sad
Time for a few wee changes, maybe? Smile
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 06:30 pm
Well, I sure see your point, msolga...
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 06:31 pm
No, MsOlga, it isn't easy. Yeah, changes are in order.
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Grand Duke
 
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Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 06:31 pm
I'm not being rude, but I'm in the middle of following Timberlandko's computer clean-up instructions to attempt to rescue my laptop, so please excuse any gaps in my posting. I need to give replies in this thread more thought than my usual rubbish, so bear with me! I'll be back...
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 06:36 pm
ossobuco wrote:
Well, I sure see your point, msolga...


Ah, a woman who knows, osso ...? Smile
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 06:42 pm
littlek wrote:
No, MsOlga, it isn't easy. Yeah, changes are in order.


By the way, littlek, I was by no means suggesting that there's anything WRONG with the littleI know of how you're living your life ... Heaven forbid, I certainly wouldn't have the noive to suggest anything like that! Very Happy

Nah, maybe just a few things to move you out of the state you're currently in. A few things to challenge you a little, into different directions. These, of course, don't have to be directly related to LURVE! Laughing Maybe something like a change of job, some travel, something to encourage you to be involved in different challenges ... All of which is hard to do when you're feeling a bit low, I know! Very Happy
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 07:09 pm
Before venturing into any further "merging" & related activities, here's what I'm aiming for. This appeals to me enormously! Very Happy

http://www.judyhoracek.com/images%20-%20screenprints/WWA%20print400px.gif
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 07:31 pm
Great image MsOlga! No worries, I wasn't thinking anything more than what you were intending with your post. I do need something to change. I am obliged to stay at my job (one problem area) for another year or two. During that time, my sister will help pay for courses to get me on my way into another job. I am still thinking about teaching. I could get my teachers' degree relatively quickly since I already have a BS.

BUT, the thing that keeps me bogging down are my pets. I need to shoot my cat every 12 hours, working 9 hours in between those shots. I have an elderly dog who is in decline. And the vet bills are a little crippling. So. It always comes down to them.

whoa! Blast from the past - while typing this post I got a phone call from friends sitting on a sidewalk in GA. That was nice!
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 07:55 pm
Ah, a welcome blast from the past, littlek! Very Happy Enjoy!

<sigh> The pet thing! I know, I know, I know .....! I can relate. So much (for me) has been dictated by the little blighters! Like WHERE I chose to buy my house (safe street), the cost of the vet (tell me something! Shocked ), my budget .... etc., etc ... But then, at times the critters have been the only bright spot Idea during some of the yuckiest times I went through. So they were worth it! Very Happy

I noticed you had a "to teach or not to teach" thread recently. Don't leave it too long to decide, will you? Is it possible to do (maybe) one subject during the next couple of years? Just a thought, littlek ..
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 07:59 pm
They are so worth it, the little furbags. They really do give a lot back, intentionaly or not. But, it's not a balanced life I lead.

I think I could take a class a semester if I could find classes that fit into my schedule.
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 08:01 pm
Idea Good idea! Laughing
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littlek
 
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Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 08:05 pm
I was agreeing! Hahaha....
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msolga
 
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Reply Sat 2 Oct, 2004 08:07 pm
Very Happy
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Nov, 2004 06:01 pm
I read these words in a Philip Roth novel (The Dying Animal) & couldn't agree more:

" Providing you're not in a state of longing, living in solitude can be it's own powerful pleasure .."

That, to me, is so right! You only feel dissatisfied with living alone when you're longing for someone/something else. When this is not the way you'd choose to live ... that is, alone. Living alone CAN be a "powerful pleasure", it often is! Very Happy
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Nov, 2004 06:04 pm
... and sometimes it's simply the best of the available options. So why not enjoy it, for however long it lasts? I'm wondering if some people feel almost a fear of aloneness.
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