It's not only possible, msolga, it's quite mature.
Well, when the inclination hits me again, Eva, that's what I'll aim for. Sounds very sane to me!
I firmly believe you should have your own friends, your own interests, and your own life before getting into a serious relationship. Two whole people make a much better couple than two halves.
It is not necessary to share all your interests, much less to share friends. There SHOULD be some space between you. Breathing room, as it were. As time goes by, you will develop some common interests and friends, but that doesn't mean you have to give up the separate ones.
Even if you eventually marry! I love spending time with my husband, but we have a lot of separate interests. And we don't look for the same type of friends. Occasionally we take trips without each other. It is all good. We've been together for more than 20 years this way.
I didn't live with him before we were married. I wanted my own separate space. Even now, I have my own office/retreat in the house, and he has his own study.
That sounds excellent, Eva. You must have made the right choice of partner in the first place for things to be so right after 20 years.
Lots of couples I know have a separate bedroom - to retreat to - to have space when it is needed.
Very upper class of them, I say to them, to annoy them!
Well why not, Dlowan? If it's good enough for the Queen & the Duke of E., then it's good enough for us peasants.
At least, this way, you share a bed when you really, really feel like sharing!
Indeed - I always want some nights alone, meself...
Yes. There are nights when a book, a cat & some flannel pyjamas feel like heaven!
Unfortunately, and my Sweetiepie's house, there is a canine adhesion problem. One can never sleep alone . . .
Lol - well, there is a feline one here!
nonsense
it is I think nonsense to defend the idea of being alone. Come on we are humans and we can not live without someone listening our complaints,hopes.feelings.Especially opposite sex is integral part of our life which is very very long......
dlowan wrote:Lots of couples I know have a separate bedroom - to retreat to - to have space when it is needed.
Very upper class of them, I say to them, to annoy them!
HA HA HA, deb! YES, that IS annoying!!! (I must remember that.)
My mother and father were married for 38 years before my father died. After the kids grew up and moved out, they did have separate bedrooms. My father was a restless sleeper and a snorer, and my mother wanted a good night's rest. She was thrilled to have her very own room for the first time in her life, and we all helped her decorate it. Even Dad. They were happy.
msolga wrote:That sounds excellent, Eva. You must have made the right choice of partner in the first place for things to be so right after 20 years.
Actually, I DIDN'T make the right choice in the first place. I had a horrible first marriage to an emotionally abusive jerk...I'm lucky I survived it. I learned a lot and made a much better choice the second time around. He is a very good man. I was lucky to find him.
Setanta wrote:Unfortunately, and my Sweetiepie's house, there is a canine adhesion problem. One can never sleep alone . . .
Very funny, Setenta. Still, it saves on the heating in winter & one would always feel loved!
The solution to living a blissful married cum single life is to marry someone who is extremely busy on weekdays, but has time for you on weekends...
and who lives far far far away from his parents :wink:
Welcome to A2K, justone.
You have are speaking from experience?
Hello solo A2Kers! I thought it was time to revisit this thread after it's been asleep for a while. Catch up on some new developments in the lives of us solo living people ....
I have, by choice, just spent 3 days in my own company. (That includes the company of my cat, so I guess I haven't been totally on my own.) Last week was a challenging week. I began a new & demanding job (thankfully part-time) & all I wanted to do at the end of it was to relax & enjoy the pleasure of my own company. So it was 3 days of reading a book I've been totally engrossed in, working in my garden, shopping for food, talking to friends on the phone, taking my cat to the vet & finally (!) trying out a pressure cooker that's been sitting in a cupboard since i bought it last year, as I work up courage & inspiration to cook in the damn threatening thing!
Anyway, these things I've been doing probably don't sound terribly exciting to anyone else ... The thing is, I've been totally contented with my own company & have enjoyed just doing what I want to do, when I want to do it. It occurred to me this morning: I'm actually enjoying living by myself! It wasn't what I chose to do in the first place & it certainly took some adjustment, but hey, it feels good now! I don't do this every weekend, but this weekend felt like a soothing holiday from the demands of the world. Just what I needed!
Strange how you can adjust to new circumstances, isn't it?
Way to go Msolga........... what a great new world you are in!
I mostly live on my own, and love it ... with my kitties Lacey and Paddy ... they are special people and know what life is all about!
I find when I have company, I can't wait for them to leave ... so don't feel bad!
Misti26 wrote:Way to go Msolga........... what a great new world you are in!
Yes, I guess it is, Misti, though I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I first found myself in this (solo) situation. But it's grown on me!
And BTW I LOVE people. I really enjoy the company of friends & fellow workers. But, I guess recently I over-dosed on company & just now this feels so good. The thing about living alone: You have the choice.
It's a strange process, learning to enjoy solitude. I used to find it very frightening. Now it's a pleasure, when I'm in the mood for it.
The best thing: understanding that you are responsible for your own life & happiness. That is so liberating. When I think of all the years I spent thinking that this relationship would make me happy, or that one !... People are so much more enjoyable when that particular pressure & expection is removed.
