(Shhh with the shaving! You'll get Craven all het up again.)
Sorry about poor vet-visiting kitties.
Hey MSOlga! Thanks for your reply and support. I have been around for a few months, but have been quiet up until this point. My problem is that having no one makes me think even more! I find that I am marginally more emotional and worry about other people more when alone, even people
I don't know.
Funnily enough, I am missing my best friend too; we are about to go our separate ways
I really don't like being a solo person, I'm not cut out for it. Yet, there are pluses; they are few, but it gives one the opportunity to recoup and do things that one couldn't do previously. As an author, I guess that I write better when alone. I would swap it all for another long-term relationship, but you are right, there are positive sides to it all.
msolga wrote:dròm_et_rêve
Hello! I don't think I've met you before at A2K.
I read your thoughtful post with interest & can relate to much of what you have said. Like you, I miss the intimacy & support of a solid, long term relationship, but feel nowhere ready the begin another! I also sorely miss the absence of my closest friend, whose been working overseas for 2 years. But hey, this period of becoming a solo person again has been so valuable in other ways: for starters, learning that I have strengths I never knew I had. I've learned to do things I never thought were possible. So there are some pluses, too. I hope that you, also, are discovering those pluses!
The trick is not to THINK too much, yes?
I'll bet if it lasts another 15 years you won't see many pluses.
{MsOlga, Screech is just having some blood glucose fluctuations, he needs to be regulated again. Just takes time and money and sometimes he gets cranky.}
I dunno Wilso, I have been alone (mostly) for the last 7 years and I still see the pluses.
I'm living alone for the first time ever.
I'm totally happy, for the first time ever.
No one here to drive me nuts.......no one here to kill the beautiful silence by putting on a TV.......no one here asking to be entertained........I can actually finish every thought.........I can work in the middle of the night.......I can not eat all day, if that's what I want........and now that there's cellphones, I can talk out loud to myself wihout my neighbors thinking I'm a looney-tunes, hahaha!
It can be a truly freeing!
littlek wrote:{MsOlga, Screech is just having some blood glucose fluctuations, he needs to be regulated again. Just takes time and money and sometimes he gets cranky.}
I dunno Wilso, I have been alone (mostly) for the last 7 years and I still see the pluses.
I have been alone (totally) for 20 years and I hate it.
Wilso, how many close friends do you have?
That's the main difference I've seen in happy single friends and unhappy single friends -- whether they have intimates, close friends who are not romantic.
dròm_et_rêve
Yes, pluses & cons! I understand the dangers of a THINKING person being alone too much! You certainly can overdo it! Sometimes it would be nice to be mindlessly engrossed in simple, uncomplicated activities, yes?
But being a writer ... well, that's a very intensely solitary activity in itself.
There must be some very heavy days, weighed down by thoughts.
katya
Good for you! Sounds like this new life reaaly suits you. Enjoy!
and not including the web.
I'm not sure how alone you can get in a dorm, but living in a big room without a roomate is definitely different than in a small room with one - no one bitching about what you put on the floors or the walls (my last roomate claimed that all my posters were sexist), no one to have fits when you get in too late - all goos stuff. Although, I've actually found that perhaps I need a roomate to discipline me after all. My room is a complete wreck, and I'm staying up until 5 AM sometimes now.
I couldn't say about being single, I've never been in a serious relationship before. I don't miss it, though.
rufio
Maybe a room mate would be good for company, too?
I think the friend situation may be what is making single life so negative for you, Wilso. That is a small group indeed.
I have said before, and I shall shut up forever about it from now on, that you would do well to focus just on making a bunch of new friends - which takes a bit of time in and of itself, usually - rather than focus so hard on a partner.
I suspect you would be a happpier, more relaxed and hence more attractive Wilso if you were having more fun and companionship irrespective of being partnered or not.
here endeth the last lesson.
That sounds good Deb. Now where do I find these people? Considering I don't live in large, entertainment rich city. This is an industrial area, populated by mainly working class, family orientated people. Most people my age, right now are at home with their families and children, which is why I'm sitting here by myself watching television and surfing the net. The only reason I've got the 2 good friends I have, is that my study partner introduced herself to me at uni, because she was looking for other mature age students to study with, and luckily I've formed a very good friendship with her and her husband. Before that I had no-one at all, since last year when a couple I'd been friends with for 10 years suddenly decided that they didn't want a single man around their 4-year-old daughter. A little girl who I used to read a book to every Saturday morning. And I DID NOT do anything inappropriate around that child. As you can imagine, I wouldn't like to be put in that position again, so I'm not going to hang around a lot with anyone with young children, except for my brother and sister-in-law. There's simply not a bunch of new people available for me to become friends with.
Wilso wrote:....since last year when a couple I'd been friends with for 10 years suddenly decided that they didn't want a single man around their 4-year-old daughter......
and you thought they were yr friends ??
