Actually, littlek, generally if I can salvage some from a very long relationship, I try to. But in this case my ex is still all over the place & doesn't seem to know what he's doing at all.
He's full of contradictions & it DOES seem best to steer clear for me. But it's hard letting go of such a long shared history. We meant a great deal to each other for a long time. Oh well ...
I've put most of my energies this last year (since our jointly owned home as sold) into reestablishing my own life, looking after my cats (you know the story there!), work & making improvements into my new house. I've been busy! Besides, I've had to recover!
Christmas brings back a lot of memories, that's all ...
Well, MsOlga, I haven't had the same sort of experience. I've never been married (let alone divorced) and I've never owned anything more complicated than a video tape with another person. I can only guess at what you're going through.
But, a split only a year final is hard. I guess he'll come out of his confusion and things will settle into a less complicated relationship for you two.
Anyway. Many of us will be right here online through the holidays.
Thank you, littlek for your kind words.
Much appreciated, my dear!
Thanks to you for raising the topic. It's important to talk about it.
I sometimes feel a little sad at Christmas - because my family is all dead - mind you, when my father only was still alive, THAT was a nightmare - so I DO appreciate many aspects of this situation!
I generally love Christmas (we do not, of course, have Thanksgiving in Oz) - though single - because it is a season of relaxing and letting hair down for me. I consider it as renewal ritual. Even if I am at work, it is generally much slower and more relaxed, with just a skeleton team.
I spend Christmas day with dear old friends - this has become a ritual. Previously, it was always with another group - and we did a huge all-day party - for people to reel into from the torments of their family "dos", to be plied with champagne cocktails, gin, coffee, kind ears, and major silliness.
I do have the odd sad thought though - it would be nice if at least my sister was alive!
As for exes - I am very fond of them all - bless 'em. One (my favourite and the one I am wistful for....!) were especially good friends for ages - but when he got seriously involved again, his new partner put a stop to that. I understand - but...
dlowan
I love the idea of the all day party to help cope with the horror aspects of family get togethers!
I CERTAINLY don't miss the torment side of family Christmases, either.
I'm sorry that your sister is gone. You were very close to her as a child, weren't you? How old would she be if she was still alive now?
As for the exes ... Yep, that's what happens! It's a real shame & kind of unnatural the have to pretend someone you cared so much for & share so much with no longer exists, isn't it?
MsOlga
I, too, will be a Christmas orphan this year. My closest friends, with whom I usually spend Christmas, have variously gone to the country or Queensland, and my dementing aunt, my only family, has decided to spend Christmas at home.
So it'll just be His Lordship and me! I'll still have to fight for my share of the food, though!
margo
At least you'll have gorgeous company!
Seriously though, I see what you're saying. After the first estrangement from my ex I always spent Christmas at a very close friend's. As she's been teaching in Vietnam for the last 2 years Christmas has been, well ... less "Christmassy" The first year I felt quite lost, despite spending the day with other friends. There is this damned unrealistic expectation of being happy, happy, happy! I'm always MUCH happier when Christmas is over!
Make your way up here and we'll get gloriously sloshed on decent fizz, and then won't give a rats!!!!
Maybe I should give that some thought?
Well, gotta spare room, as aunt isn't coming!
Booze on special at local boozer this weekend!
Think about it!
I will, margo ... But, but .... also gotta think about this jinxed cat I share my house with!
If I let him out of my sight for a day what's the worst that could happen? (says she, whose just returned from the vet to have the stitches removed from the last (abscess removal) operation. Honestly! This critter will be the death of me!
I had a experience I haven't described previously, except that I went to this great wedding a year and some ago.
My good friend married someone whom she actually met through a newspaper meet site, she advertising for someone to go to the opera with. The wedding, in due time, was at a fine inn, with a seriously gourmet dinner. I loved it. I stayed nearby, not being able to spring for the $380. a night rooms, but I liked the ramshackle bayside motel. The wedding was small and friends from her film club, and some of her designy type friends were there, and a few friends of his. Some family. Off hand I'd say 50 people or less.
I drove five hours to get there and had a great personal self-in-space time, what with the gorgeous land and sea far and wide, plus the event. But something she said one of those days threw me, about being too bad I was so alone.
I didn't once feel alone until she said it. Nearly said back "well, I'd much rather be alone than marry that turkey", but no, I didn't. Besides, he isn't a turkey, exactly.
ossobuco wrote:I didn't once feel alone until she said it. Nearly said back "well, I'd much rather be alone than marry that turkey", but no, I didn't. Besides, he isn't a turkey, exactly.
Frankly, osso, I'd rather be alone than marry a turkey, too!!!!
Ah! Margo's aunt is staying home. Happy holidays for Margo.
Heehee - hey! Go, Msolga!!!!
