In memory of my dad

Thank you Roberta and others who read, yet say nothing.

My dad taught us not to give up and sometimes that is exactly what I want to do. I want to run away and not come back ever. Then reality sets in and I know that is not the answer. I can't or will not run away from reality or any problem that I feel is worth fighting for.

My sister is worth fighting for, even if I don't know what to fight against. That is what angers me. The doctors, who I highly respect, can't find the source and the technology of the machines can't either. It is so frustrating because I do my best under pressure when there is a solution. I am not finding a solution at this time.

Dad,
I know you would be proud of me because I am right now. I was sleeping only to be woken up by my FR, who I didn't even know was home, telling me he had to go and the computer wasn't working. He quickly asked me to fix it, omg over 6 hours later and no help, I did fix it. Even if I couldn't fix it, no big deal. Almost everything on my computer is in my head, call it memory

Dad,
When I was in ICU, I woke up with a horrible thought. It was about this site. It was about changing places and changing faces. Masks, so I ripped mine off.

To my dad,
Nothing on the internet is private. I know and wasn't looking for, most of the members real names and addresses. I didn't mean to find this info. At the time, I was looking for and researching animals. If anyone that is a regular member on this site reads this, I won't reveal who you are and where you live. I will respect your privacy as you do mine because I know many of you know my real name.......night.

Dad,
I am at my wits end. My sister, your daughter, is so sick and I can't help her. I am so tired of crying and seeing her in pain. I just don't know what to do. She is so scared and so am I. I just wish life wouldn't be so painful

Dad,
She cannot survive her illness. I can only hope she finds peace in knowing that I care. I have done all I am capable of doing and I can't fix it and that makes me feel helpless. No regrets though.

Sad for you, t2l.

You might not understand what I am writing,, nobody hamsterpad = smile

Why are you sad?? I am not sad.

Dad I do have my own agenda and motives. It is too bad that others can't see it in a positive way. I know you always did. I hope everyone on this site has a healthy and long life. I won't be back thanks to RH and others that lie and just see what they want to see. No regrets....

My heart is breaking. My sister is dying and there is nothing I can do to help her.

I just had to come back to this site and no agenda this time.

Stay as long as you like. You can live here, if you want.

Thank you rat (I mean that in a good way). This site means so much to me because of my dad and the members who I care about.

I come back here when I feel lost and alone. It really sucks to feel that way. I so miss my dad. A part of me died when he died. My dad was so kind.

I've never felt bad about being a rat, but kind of surprised anyone remembers. I'm glad we're here when you feel like talking.

Thank you

Thank you again and I can't come back here anymore. I wish you and others happiness and health.

I didn't think I would ever come back. Dad I had a horrible dream about the plane. So many people hurt and scared.

Dad I feel sick, really sick. I don't know why or what is wrong. My whole body hurts. I wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I don't mean this in a bad way. I just want the pain to go away.