Should we exchange passwords???

Forums: Relationships
Email this Topic • Print this Page

My husband and I have been married for a little over 5 months. Before we got married I wanted us to exchange passwords for our emails because that's the way I had it in my old relationship and I thought it was a normal thing to do. My husband, however, refused to give me his password because his email was 'none of my business' and i wasn't 'even his wife' yet. I knew he was a very private person so I decided to drop the subject until we get married.
Now we are married and the other day I asked him if he would give me his password (Of course, I'll give him mine as well) and he still refuses to do it! Evil or Very Mad

His reasons are: he doesn't trust me because if I want to read his email I'm up to no good, there may be private information from his friends and family that nobody but him is supposed to know and i'd be violating their trust if i read it and also i speak another language and some of my friends write in that language and he thinks it's not fair that i can read his emails and he can't read mine.
In my opinion, married people shouldn't protect each other FROM each other with passwords. Am I wrong to think so or is he wrong?

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Discussion • Score: 2 • Views: 6,606 • Replies: 147

No top replies

his password is none of your business.

0 Replies

Why would you want it?

I mean, I know my husbands but that's only because he asked me to get something off his email once while he was at work, and the only way to do it was for me to log on at home and do it.

But I never asked for it.

That's just weird.

That's a direct violation of privacy IMO, asking for it because you think you deserve to know.

0 Replies

You don't give up all rights to privacy when you get married. If both partners are fine with it, sure, you can exchange passwords. If both partners AREN'T fine with it, though -- which is the case here -- I don't think it should be compelled.

Do you trust him? If not, why not? That may be the more important issue.

0 Replies

I do trust him. If I didn't, I would get a monitoring software and find out everything I need to know. I was just insulted by a 'no' because I believe that if your husband/wife asks you for something small like that there shouldn't be any reason why you'd say 'no'. It's just weird, it makes me think that he's hiding something. He even created an account for both of us just so we don't get into a situation where he'd have to give me his password to get some info from his email account. I think that's an insult too.

0 Replies

What's small about it?

0 Replies

then you don't trust him if you think he's hiding something.

0 Replies

Email password IMO is a petty issue. I would give my password to my friend if she asked for it. As a matter of fact, I know my best friend's password cause she told me once. And he is my husband for Christ's sake! I don't know any married couple that doesn't exchange this information.
I really don't know if I'm entitled to it or not. I'm a newlywed, I know nothing about being married. That's why I'm here. But I thought that being married is about making each other happy, especially if the issue is that small.

0 Replies

I do trust him, but somebody who refuses to give their password to their own wife does seem suspicious to me. Am I the only one here that feels this way?

0 Replies

Yes.

0 Replies

isitok wrote:

I don't know any married couple that doesn't exchange this information.
.

You know three now.

Me, Chai and Soz.

0 Replies

But you know your husband's password! Mine wouldn't even give it to me if we were in the situation you were in. He would just wait until he can get home. Or he'd change the password right after he gave it to me.

0 Replies

I know Bella's password, but that's just because her husband told me.

0 Replies

Never mind. I'm obviously at the wrong place. I was looking for a serious forum. If there is a moderator on this forum, please delete my account and my original posting. Thank you.

0 Replies

Oh wait, I get it...

You ask a question expecting to hear the answer you want.
When you don't you decide that's not the right answer.

You don't trust him if you think he's hiding something from you, and think that suspicious.

Do you know the meaning of the word trust?

0 Replies

isitok wrote:

But you know your husband's password! Mine wouldn't even give it to me if we were in the situation you were in. He would just wait until he can get home. Or he'd change the password right after he gave it to me.

I didn't ask for it and don't expect it. And he doesn't know mine. Nor has he asked for it.

Maybe he just feels that you don't trust him. Maybe he is doing something shady. But you can't seriously go with the idea that he is doing something wrong behind your back based on his lack of willingness to hand over his password.

We all have something we want to keep just ours... maybe this is his.

0 Replies

isitok wrote:

Never mind. I'm obviously at the wrong place. I was looking for a serious forum. If there is a moderator on this forum, please delete my account and my original posting. Thank you.

We're more serious than a heart attack here.

It's just that we don't want to say to you "GET A GRIP!". Instead, we'd rather be nice about it all.

If there is a moderator? Now you be talkin' bad 'bout our mods?

The hamsters will not be pleased.

0 Replies

You have no business looking at his personal emails. It is disrespectful of you to even ask for his password without having any specific need for it.

Clearly isotok did not want advice, she wanted evidence for her argument that she show and point her husband to in an immature attempt to win.

0 Replies

Isitok, people don't own each other. The sooner you begin to understand that, and what privacy means, the sooner you'll not be spending your life trying to control your husband's every move and thought.

His password is not your business, or something you suddenly, by means of a ceremony, deserve.

0 Replies

Isn't his password **********?

Anyway -- make that four (or is it five?) married couples where the password isn't shared. I have zero desire to know my husband's password. He could be planning a surprise party for me or somethin'.

0 Replies

Should we exchange passwords???

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know