Did you purchase the home prior to her moving in? She might claim that, regardless of your marital status at the time of purchase, the fact that you were living together at the time of purchase (if you were) constitutes a right to assume one-half of the property value. I don't know that such a claim would fly, but she'd be foolish not to try it.
vstrong, it's Monday -- get a lawyer.
Man up and get out. It's obvious that this is well past being over and well into the stage of clinging by your fingernails to a miserable-- but familiar-- situation simply because it's familiar.
Well, a turn for the worse.
She spent the night at his house last night and the rest is history. My father is getting an attorney he knows lined up and everything is in motion there.
I thought I was hurt in the last weeks? This is unreal. I can barely type or think. Im sickened. My wife has offcially cheated on me and admitted it to me (well she said she spent the night with him, I think we can draw our own conclusions and her underwear is soaked).
So.....now the healing begins....There is only one way to go from here...up.
Pray for me......
Sorry, vstrong.
I'm really not surprised, given everything you've said about the process so far. Sort of, "If everyone thinks I'm doing it I might as well actually do it and have some fun instead of just being miserable." I'm sure the visit from her parents didn't help in the least. It does really sound like she's finally going through a long-delayed rebellion. Too bad for everyone involved that it got to this point. Though as we've said several times, at least there aren't any children involved.
Hopefully this will at least give you the wherewithall to consider it unambiguously over and go from there.
Glad the lawyer is getting lined up. Hope that moves quickly.
Take care.
Sorry to hear the bad news, but let's face it-- the handwriting was really there on the wall all along.
Follow your attorney's advice and don't give in to the temptation to grant concessions to her in the hopes of either facilitating a reconciliation or hurrying the process along.
Then take some time to enjoy being alone and out from under any stress. I think you may find it an exhilirating feeling. I know I did.
Sorry, vstrong. I know this isn't the outcome you were hoping for. At least you can stop torturing yourself and start to make some moves toward the future.
The only suggestion I can give you at this point is to suggest, if you haven't already done so, you let your employer know what's going on. The last thing you need right now is to have your boss come down on you because he's noticed your performance slipping.
Talk to the lawyer, protect yourself as best you can, make a plan and implement it. One day at a time is all you can do, but get ready because the separation/divorce process isn't easy.
Take care, keep us posted. We're here.
vstrong wrote:So.....now the healing begins....There is only one way to go from here...up.
Yep. Up. Up...to the NUDIE BAR!!! I am so happy for you! You're finally going to cut loose that harpy bitch and start to live!
Congratulations. Bring lots of singles. Oh, also, wear loose pants. Don't ask why, just do it. You'll thank me later, especially if you go for a few lap dances.
JPB wrote:The only suggestion I can give you at this point is to suggest, if you haven't already done so, you let your employer know what's going on. The last thing you need right now is to have your boss come down on you because he's noticed your performance slipping.
This is a good idea -- but I'd suggest keeping it very brief and very general. "By the way, unfortunately it looks like my marriage is ending and you might notice I'm a little preoccupied. Work is a welcome distraction though, will definitely be [work-related details here that can segue into another topic of conversation would be good here]." NOT any gory details or rambling.
I'm sorry to hear the bad news, vstrong. I know it hurts.
(((hugs)))
im just hurt so bad....this is the worst outcome...especially after I asked her to just respect the marriage until it is over......then do what you want....
i can't imagine a feeling much worse than this......
One piece of advice from my own experience:
Now that you know for sure that she is having sex with others, be sure to protect yourself from the chance of sexually transmitted diseases by wearing a condom should the two of you happen to reconcile for a moment or two. If the reconciliation is long-lasting, insist she be tested and examined before relaxing that protection.
Don't delay seeing the lawyer. Time is of the essence here, since she will also be looking to protect her interests from the relationship.
It's entirely possible she did what you asked, vstrong. In her mind, the marriage may already be over.
When is your appointment with the lawyer? (The sooner the better.)
I'm sorry too, vstrong.
Agree with everybody's comments.
Phoenix wrote:...Hey, I know that you feel crappy, and it is understandable. But you need to take care of the practical end of things. When all is signed, sealed and delivered, you can afford to indulge yourself in some emotional hissy fits. But not now.
vstrong wrote:i can't imagine a feeling much worse than this......
Oh? Then imagine being this heartbroken AND wiped out financially. Phoenix is right. Keep your wits about you. Remember, she is on an emotional high right now and has proven she doesn't really care about anyone's feelings but her own. She's moving fast, vstrong. And whatever lawyer she gets will consider it his/her job to get her as large a share of the marital assets as possible. Time for you to take care of business.
Butrflynet- I agree that vstrong needs to use protection if he ever has sex again with his wife.
BTW, vstrong, it is not uncommon for exes to have one more "go at it" after the relationship is irrevocably broken. It does NOT mean that the person is interested in resuming the relationship. I suppose it is sort of like a period at the end of a sentence!
So sorry, vstrong, I know you're in a lot of pain and I'm keeping you in my thoughts.
I'm sorry, vstrong.
My thoughts were along the lines of Butrflynet. Be cautious. Use condoms.
I don't need to know how you know that her underwear was soaked, but it kinda worries me. The fact that she is still in the house, and the emotions are so high, just be really careful no babies end up being conceived in this mix kay?
It wouldn't be unheard of. And I know it is the last thing you want to think could happen - but, yeah.
What are the arrangements for the next little while? As far as living and sleeping, I mean?
And...do you have a temper?
Bottom line: protect yourself. take care.
sozobe wrote:Sorry, vstrong.
I'm really not surprised, given everything you've said about the process so far. Sort of, "If everyone thinks I'm doing it I might as well actually do it and have some fun instead of just being miserable." I'm sure the visit from her parents didn't help in the least. It does really sound like she's finally going through a long-delayed rebellion. Too bad for everyone involved that it got to this point. Though as we've said several times, at least there aren't any children involved.
Hopefully this will at least give you the wherewithall to consider it unambiguously over and go from there.
Glad the lawyer is getting lined up. Hope that moves quickly.
Take care.
Sozobe, excuse me, but why do you make so many excuses for this woman? "She is rebelling". "May as well do it, instead of just being miserable". "Her parents visiting didn't help."
Damn!
