Hmmm, what were they doing? sniffing butts?
I'm beginning to value experience in itself, Lola, without value judgments. As an artist, I do the same with things I see -- they may be interesting or not interesting, "nourishing" or "not nourishing," at any given time but never "good" or "bad." I think relationships are much the same... BUT (big but!) as an interferin' judgmental woman, I can get very judging about other people's relationships!! Oh well...
I can definitely see your point, Lola, but speaking strictly for myself, I didn't marry for the family life. I married for companionship. I didn't (and still don't) want to live my life alone. Intellectually and emotionally, I seem to be built for partnership. I function best that way, unlike many of my dearest friends.
I've read bits of this thread, not all of it.
I have never been driven towards marriage and children. Just haven't had the itch. I would like, at this point, to settle into a long term relationship that approximates marriage even if it isn't marriage by law. I still don't think I want kids, but I also realize that I could change my mind given the right circumstance and the right guy. But, time's running out for the right situation to be able to change my mind. To me the whole concept of marriage is there to protect children during the years they need support. If I won't be having children, why bother marrying?
That makes sense, Lola.
I still like the idea of staying with one person, though. Old friends are the best friends. And, in my humble opinion, it would be foolish to replace years of love & trust with the uncertainty of a new relationship. Of course, it all depends on the partner. If I didn't enjoy being with someone, I wouldn't stay out of duty.
Nice description of a nice wish, Lola!
On a recent trip all by myself... no, with my dog, which means hardly by myself!... I kept noticing all the eccentric choices I made which would have been difficult had another more or less normal person had been there. In fact, talking with a friend down in Houston the other day -- a widow -- we agreed that the conversations one has with strangers are extremely engaging and important. They would be impossible with a third party present. So it's a hard choice. I once lived for a pretty long time with a man who is humorous, interesting, lively, eccentric, and always fun to be with, day and night. But that's so rare and (in my case at last) the itch for independence -- for sheer aloneness -- brings it to an end, sooner or later.
It's not that I don't think I could love one person for the rest of my life - nothing would make me happier. I am not interested in changing partners or the comfort that comes of having the same lover forever. It's the simple fact that I don't want to cohabitate with them or bind myself with a legal piece of paper. Kudos to those of you brave enough to do so but I am unwilling to give up my independence. I think it would be wrong of me to go into a marriage knowing I would not be completely happy and could even end up resenting my partner because of it. If this were 100 years ago where it was virtually unacceptable for a woman to be unmarried, I would be a dreadfully unhappy person. For that reason alone, I am happy I was born into this era.
If independence is that important to you, by all means, you should stay single! Just because marriage is right for me doesn't mean I think it's right for everyone. Definitely not! I'm so glad we live in a time when this truth is better understood & accepted. No telling how many bad marriages have been caused by people not realizing that they weren't meant for marriage.
I realize that you probably still feel pressure from some people to explain why you're not married, but I doubt you'll find that here at A2K.
To each his/her own. And here's a toast: "To knowing what's best for ourselves."
I wouldn't personally mind if I were asked to marry, nor would I mind if it was suggested that I (and partner) do not. I merely ask to be coddled and ravished.
hmmm - A2K got to love this place!
AW jeez. It's gonna be one of those awful meet-cute stories... Wall to wall Hallmark. Please, if you're going to do it, live in sin and have an incredibly and unreportably raunchy relationship. Unreportably.
Straight-arming football players on the right, and nimbly dodging squeemish censors on the left, he accepts the proposal, in the traditional and case appropriate manner - on his knees.
Oh....that is an EGREGIOUS spelling error....I simply could NOT live with someone who thinks the language is a PLAYTHING....
I divorce you I divorce you I divorce you!
