Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

Don't know if I told you what happened out here some years ago. Three of our favorite little old ladies - Gertrude, Maude, and Tillie - were feeding pigeons in the park when a man wearing a trench coat approached them. He stopped in front of them and threw the coat open -- he was a flasher, stark naked under the coat! Gertrude immediately had a stroke. Maude had a stroke right after her. But poor Tillie, bless her heart, was a little older and more feeble, and she just couldn't quite reach that far.

Perhaps her being old and feeble had slowed her reaction times and she was too late to effect the outcome.

Too cute!

Good one, CD

2 muffins in an oven: 1 muffin says "****, it's hot in here!" Other muffin says " Damn! a talking muffin!"

Seed, you win this contest hands down. In fact, we might as well shut down the thread...there will never be a "better" bad joke....

I would label it a "badder" good joke.

3 guys walk into a bar ...




You think the third one would have noticed!

(and yes, Seed's joke is about the best good 'bad' joke I've seen in a while! or is it bad good joke???
~ Hi, Seed! )

ENCORE!! <<Clap>> ENCORE!! <<Clap>><<Clap>> ENCORE!! ENCORE!! <<Clap>><<Clap>><<Clap>>

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.

The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"

Donald frowned and said, "No.."

Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex.

"Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested.



So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.

"Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.

The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put them on your bill?"

"Thit No!" Donald quacked, "I'll thuffocate..."

***

Rory Albanese

That's too good for this thread RP.

Superman was flying across North America to get to his weekly poker game with all the other super heroes. When he got to the game they noted how distressed he looked.

"Well, I'll tell you," he said. "I was flying over Miami Beach and with my super vision saw Wonder Woman, and you all know what a super thing I have for her, lying on the beach on her back, naked and writhing and moaning in ecstacy. I made a super bee line for her and got right on top of her for a perfect, super sexual landing."

"Wow," said all the super heroes. "Wonder Woman must've really been surprised"!...

...

"Not as surprised as Invisible Man"!

Amen, brother...waaay too good

HAHAHAHA

A redneck was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows.

"Twenty dollars," she whispers.

Bubba had never been with a hooker before but decides what the heck, it's only twenty bucks.

So they hide in the bushes. They're 'engaged' for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It is a police officer.

"What's going on here people?" asks the officer.

"I'm making love to my wife," Bubba answers sounding annoyed.

"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop. "I didn't know."

"Well, neither did I, 'til ya shined that light in her face..."

***

RP, that joke got me through three days. But I desperately need a real laugh right now! Don't fail me....

When Mary worked for an organization which delivered meals to the elderly, she would take along her four year old daughter. She was always fascinated by the appliances of old age - canes, walkers, wheelchairs, etc. One day Mary saw her staring at a set of false teeth in a jar. She said to Mary, "The tooth fairy will never believe this."

Kara, maybe this will help:
Old Friends
A group of 40 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters there had tight pants and nice buns.

10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was very good and the wine
selection was good also.

10 years later at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could eat there in peace and quiet and
the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible and they even had an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.

Then maybe not.

Did you forget you had already posted that JL?