@Debacle,
It seems I've been second-personed. Again.
@George,
George wrote:
Nope.
Teaches "maths" in Western Australia.
thats the definition of pushin' **** up hill.
@Region Philbis,
I missed that the first time 'round. Thanx for reposting, RP.
California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce
Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines,
have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people make to
the bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be marketed as........................
............ Pinot More
***
@Region Philbis,
LOL region tht was a gud 1!
@Region Philbis,
you mean I can sleep ALL NIGHT drunk?
@JLNobody,
apparently so from the information given...
***
Q: What did the
GREEN grape say to the
PURPLE grape?
A: Breathe, man!!
.. BREEEEEEEEEATHE!!!!!!
***
A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...
She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered,
"There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.
One Upmanship
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Melbourne scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the Victorians, in the weeks that followed, a Sydney archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the Sydney Morning Herald read: "New South Wales archaeologists, finding traces of 130-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 30 years earlier than the Victorians".
One week later, the Courier Mail in Brisbane , Queensland , reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Beenleigh , Queensland , John Brown, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely bugger all. John has therefore concluded that 150 years ago, Queensland had already gone wireless."
Old Pilot
An old Pilot sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..
She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'
He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeroncas, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot.'
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: 'Are you a real pilot?'
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'
@Kara,
By golly, Kara! That's the best one I've heard since I don't know when, at least since yesterday.
Funnier still, it's got me considering my own avocation ... predilections, whatever.
@Debacle,
Mr. D! You ought to check in more often. We need fresh blood.
@Kara,
Is that truly you? North Carolina, home of the Wright brothers?? Did you get your license yet, or not? Btw, I'm your friend previously known as Helen of Troy, before that N34W118 from my old airport on the West Coast. And yet further back, btw, Debacle is, I think, the very first person I came across while posting on a social website (geological eons ago) at which point - knowing nothing of social internet media - I wandered online modestly named "Crashing Bore", a name subsequently changed on insistence of some friendly posters
@Kara,
Well put, Kara; 'tis a quote from the Irish, I tink.
Bram Stoker, wasn't it?
@High Seas,
That was probably on Abuzz, High Seas. Wherever, apparently I was out on good behavior at the time, seeing you decided to stick. At any rate, it's a pleasure to see you again.
@Debacle,
Debacle wrote:
That was probably on Abuzz, High Seas. Wherever, apparently I was out on good behavior at the time, seeing you decided to stick. At any rate, it's a pleasure to see you again.
Pleasure to see you as well, Debacle. Really glad you kept your Abuzz name after a decade ++ or I'd never have known you.
@High Seas,
What a coincidence: I was once asked to change my handle to "crashing bore", but I refused. I DID consider "Nebish", however, but decided on the one I have now--and have kept since Abuzz..
@High Seas,
Hi HOT...(High Seas can't compete with Helen of Troy)
No license. My roommate went ballistic about all of that, so I've gone back to landing F-16s on carriers virtually (in my dreams) which sure ain't the same thing. You still on the Best (oops, West) Coast?
Mr. D. and I have known (but never met) each other since the early days of Abuzz, when we were all newbies to the internet -- except Craven and Phoenix, who were never newbies -- and it was all such a wonderful adventure.
