@hingehead,
How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Can't do it. That's a hardware problem.
LOL, Hingehead...good ones. Especially the MS joke....HAHA
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around and then speak to them.
Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off. But occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something that she carried in her bag.
The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know
for sure, they decided to just continue watching her.
After a couple of weeks the wife said, 'Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?' He hadn't and said so.
Then she said, 'Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing.'
Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave.. The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
'Well, is she selling drugs?' she asked excitedly. 'No, she's not,' he said, enjoying this probably more
than he should have.
'Well, what is it then? What does she do ?' his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said, 'She's a battery salesperson.'
'Batteries?' cried the wife.
'Yes!' he replied.
PLEASE SCROLL DOWN
OOOOH! You're gonna dislike me for this -
but it will make your day!
'She Sells C Cells by the Seashore!'
Yep, I remember that one. (I'm married to a geek.)
Why do monkeys not talk?
They are frightened of being put to work.
@spendius,
Spendius, that reminds me of something I read recently.
If cats could talk...they wouldn't.
@Merry Andrew,
Why was Philip's Girl Friend angry? Cos she found out that Philip's 25 inch was a flat screen tv
Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb..?
A. 2 if their small enough...
@Francis,
Francis wrote:
Eva wrote:(I'm married to a geek.)
How does it feel like?
Pretty comfortable. We've been together for 28 years now.
It's true, opposites do attract. And for good reason. I've often wondered how people who are a lot alike manage to stay together. How boring that would be...I might as well just talk to myself! Besides, it really helps to have someone around with a different set of skills. He's very good at many day-to-day things for which I have no talent or interest. We make a good team.
@loopy1,
Welcome to A2K. Your 1st post here was impressively perverse.
@loopy1,
Yup, welcome. Listen to what realjohnboy says. Comes to perversity, rjb is hard to beat.
@loopy1,
loopy, everything on this thread is a joke. That includes our comments about perversion.
A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture
was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot,
driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.
He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he
drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again.
He tried a fourth time with the same result. The fifth time he was
laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for
driving without a seat belt.
Men! And they say blondes are dumb.
ok no worries
got another (not perverted)
Blood, a young vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood and perched himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Before long, all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He was tired and needing a rest, so he told them to please leave him alone. However, it was clear that he wasn't going to get any sleep until he satisfied their curiosity.
"OK!" he said with exasperation, "follow me," and he flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats following close behind him. Down through the valley they went, across the river and into the deep forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly gathered around him.
"Do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good," said the first bat, "Because I BLOODY DIDN'T!"
@Mame,
Then there was a guy with a statement to make, so he got a vanity plate that read UNKNOWN. Sadly, the town had a policy of issuing warrants for the arrest of anyone whose plate was obscured or unrecordable by the camera, which was noted in the space for plate number by writing UNKNOWN. When they finally caught up with him, he had 27 outstanding warrants for his arrest.
