My teacher said, "Don't worry about spelling. In the future, there will always be autocorrect."
For that, I am eternally grapefruit.
While composing, my computer just froze and opened a window saying, "Press any key to continue."
I cannot find the ANY key on my keyboard.
Can anyone help?
Waiter: How do you like your steak sir?
Customer: Like winning an argument with my wife
.
Waiter: Rare it is.
@Wilso,
How do you know your wife just won that argument?
You walk away from her just positive you won that one and then you feel those tiny darts embedding in your back!
@Region Philbis,
3,026 years from now, what will life be like? Good or bad? I think it's 5050.
I tried giving blood once. Never again. Too many annoying questions.
Whose blood is it?
Where did you get it?
Why is it in a bucket?
@Wilso,
You're good at this, Wilso.
Sorry I took my jocks off at your gender reveal party.
I thought we were all participating.
My bad.
"Do you know where I can get a good toupée?"
"Not off the top of my head."
Believe in yourself, even when no-one else will.
- Sasquatch
Which concert costs only 45 cents?
A double bill of 50 Cent and Nickelback.
@Wilso,
OMG, for some reason that hit my funny bone! "..bucket..." "whose is it?" lol
Thanks for my second great laugh of the evening.
A gecko was walking through the Australian bush heading toward the river for a drink.
On his walk he came across a koala sitting in a gum tree and smoking a joint and stopped for a chat.
"G’day, mate. What are you doing?"
The koala replied, "Smoking a joint, come up and join me. It's bloody good gear!"
So the gecko climbed up, sat next to the koala and they shared a joint.
After a while the gecko said his mouth was dry and he was going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank the gecko was so stoned he leaned too far over and fell in.
The current was quite strong and he started to float away.
A crocodile saw this, swam over to the stoned gecko and helped him back to shore.
He then asked the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"
The gecko explained that he was sitting in a tree smoking
a joint with his new koala friend, his mouth got dry and he was so wasted that when he went to get a drink from the river he fell in.
The crocodile wanted to check out the stoned koala for himself, walked into the bush and found the koala sitting in the fork of a gum tree, just finishing a joint.
The crocodile looked up and said, "Hey, Koala, you got any more of that grass?"
The koala looked down and said, "FUUUCK DUDE...how much water did you drink?"
