To the person who invented zero.......
thanks for nothing.
I bought my daughter a fridge.....
I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
I don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals.
Coprolite may not be my favourite fossil. But it's a solid number two.
Six topless women sounds nice.
So I said to the waitress: "What’s the duck like?”
She said "Like a chicken, but it can swim”.
My pet mouse Elvis was found dead in the kitchen.
He was caught in a trap.
Having too much sex can cause memory loss.
I read it on page 14 of a medical journal on the 14th of November 2019 at 3:19pm.
I know a Polish sound technician . . . .
and a Czech one too
Once I made eye contact with a beautiful woman on a train.and I'll never forget what she said. She said 'Stop touching my eye.'
- Gary Delaney
My dog accidentally swallowed a whole bag of scrabble tiles. We took him to the vet to get checked out. No word yet.
I don't know what it is about me. The lousier the joke, the more that I like it. And YOU are the master of lousy jokes!!! :-)
I said to this guy, “How do you get your coffee table so shiny?”.
He said, “Polish!”
I said, “Sorry - jak sprawic, by twoj stolik byl tak blyszczacy?”
No, polish it in the corner!