I’ve ordered some traditional German food online. The sauerkraut has arrived but the wurst is yet to come…
I was asked to pick up 6 sprites for a party but I picked 7 up.
The World Double Entendre Championships start next week… Thinking of entering the wife!
On my way to work today I was attacked by six dwarves. Not happy.
Police confirmed that the man who fell from the 15th floor of the nightclub… …was not a bouncer.
Father: Son, allow me to offer my warmest congratulations. I'm certain that you'll remember today as the happiest in your life.
Son: Thanks, Dad. But the wedding's tomorrow!
Father: I know.
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall. I thought to myself, “That’s a little condescending.”
I was engaged to a girl with a wooden leg...
I got angry and broke it off.
I went into my local bookstore and asked for a book on turtles. "Hardback?" The assistant asked. "Yes" I replied, “with little heads”
A vegetarian looked at my burger and said, "You know, a cow died so you could have that burger." Mid-bite, I looked at his salad and responded, "Maybe it died because you keep eating all its food!"
I want to create a product that's a laxative, but also contains Advil for the pain. I'll call it Ibepoopin.
I used my Donor Card instead of my Credit Card ordering some stuff online. It cost me an arm and a leg..
