Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

https://imageproxy.ifunny.co/crop:x-20,resize:640x,quality:90x75/images/567d968bc6d89f1cabde4b17699647d19eddcd7355507bbddbe81504e0972be0_1.jpg

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@coluber2001,

I'm sorry to tell you sir, but tests show you're a raven lunatic.

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@hingehead,

Thats nothing to crow about.

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@glitterbag,

Really? I was feeling quite choughed.

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@cherrie,

Quote:

A truck carrying thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday, losing it's entire load.

Every one was lost for words.

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@Region Philbis,

hey, Reg, There's only so much a goil can take. Go stand in a corner.

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https://i.pinimg.com/564x/fd/5e/a2/fd5ea23c65ed8a6c06466ef79efeac25.jpg

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Two ghosts sat under a jungle at night. A man drank too much of beer. He went to the jungle and said: “watch out (be careful)” and then peeeeee…
One of the ghost got wet and be annoyed. He complained to the other ghost: “This guy is impolite enough. He should inform us first!” The other ghost answered: “He did. Didn’t you hear?”

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I have six tins of pulled pork from Moscow. One of them is six months past its use by date. Who wants to play Russian Rillette?

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@hingehead,

Not me. It's probably contaminated with Brucellosis.

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Bit provincial this one, I don’t know if that makes it more or less bad, but it just came to me while talking to my dad on the phone. Although I live in Southampton the first place I was offered a vaccine was the Isle of Wight, a ferry ride away.

Now the joke.

Where is the vaccination centre on the Isle of Wight?

The Needles.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

izzythepush wrote:

Bit provincial this one, I don’t know if that makes it more or less bad, but it just came to me while talking to my dad on the phone. Although I live in Southampton the first place I was offered a vaccine was the Isle of Wight, a ferry ride away.

Now the joke.

Where is the vaccination centre on the Isle of Wight?

The Needles.

It made it more bad...or less good, as you will.

(Ahhh...don't get pissed, Iz...I'm just needling you.)

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For whatever reason, Izzy, your "joke" made me think of King John losing his jewels in the wash!

Or Wash, if you prefer.

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@Frank Apisa,

I can’t post images but if you google Needles Isle of Wight you’ll see they’re quite beautiful.

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@izzythepush,

Izzy Push - I found through DNA a perfect male match with someone living in Australia. He had lived in Salisbury and said he knew the family had been there since the late 1700's, at least. My branch moved to America about 1650. We matched not only in DNA but last name.

That makes us basically neighbors! That made us only about 25 miles apart.

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/ce/ca/c8/cecac861c5f0942c950c475b9f2f95b2.jpg

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@BillW,

One thing you won’t get in Salisbury is a Salisbury Steak. It’s an American dish.

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@izzythepush,

izzythepush wrote:

I can’t post images but if you google Needles Isle of Wight you’ll see they’re quite beautiful.

Gorgeous!

Here's a picture for others to enjoy.

https://i1.wp.com/www.specialneedsfamilyhub.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/the-needles-lighthouse.jpg?fit=1200%2C720

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@Frank Apisa,

Ages ago, I'd visited the mother of the lady (and in-law of her husband, of course) a couple of times in a retirement home in Milford-on-sea ... with a nice view through the bushes towards the Needles.

1 Reply

Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

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