201
   

Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

 
 
glitterbag
 
  3  
Reply Thu 14 Jan, 2021 03:40 am
@hingehead,
First I groaned, then I chuckled.
lmur
 
  2  
Reply Thu 14 Jan, 2021 06:35 am
@glitterbag,
Should be a word - 'grockled'.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Jan, 2021 07:02 am
@lmur,
Grockles are what people from Bournemouth call holidaymakers.
lmur
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Jan, 2021 02:37 pm
@izzythepush,
izzythepush wrote:

Grockles are what people from Bournemouth call holidaymakers.


Drat! Was initially going to suggest 'gruckles' but the urban dictionary defines that as stretching the foreskin with a view to hiding drugs.
0 Replies
 
lmur
 
  3  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2021 02:44 pm
While there are many comedians that swear, Lenny Bruce was the pre-curser.
0 Replies
 
popeye1945
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Jan, 2021 11:52 pm
@dadpad,
It is a good thing the wheel was invented before the automobile. imagine the terrible scrapping noise that would be coming from the freeway!!
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Wed 20 Jan, 2021 02:59 pm
@popeye1945,
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
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a carrot!






























hingehead
 
  1  
Reply Wed 20 Jan, 2021 04:32 pm
@DrewDad,
What's invisible and smells like a carrot?
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Bunny farts.
Frank Apisa
 
  2  
Reply Thu 21 Jan, 2021 10:22 am
Couple are having breakfast while listening to local news broadcast. Announcer says, “Snow expected…maybe 6 to 8 inches. Please park your cars on odd number side of the street so plows can clean roadway.”

Wife goes out and parks their car on the odd number side.

Few weeks later, same setting…announcer says, “More snow coming, Please park cars on even number side of the street so plows can clean roadway.”

Wife goes out and parks their car on the even number side.

Few weeks after that, same setting…announcer says, “Even more snow expected. Please park cars…”

At that point, the electricity goes off…and rest of the announcement is missed.

“Oh, my gosh,” gasps the wife, “Now I don’t know what side of the street to park the car on.”

Her husband, in the calm, reassuring voice of a guy married for a long time to a blonde, says, “Why not just leave it in the garage this time, Hon?”
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  2  
Reply Thu 21 Jan, 2021 11:47 am
@hingehead,
hingehead wrote:

What's invisible and smells like a carrot?
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Bunny farts.





I just called my son and asked him this question, then I started to laugh and could barely squeak out 'bunny farts'. hahahahahahahahahahaeahaha
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Sat 23 Jan, 2021 07:04 am
Naked man turns up to a fancy dress party with a naked woman on his back.
"I'm a turtle" he says.
The host asked... "well who is the girl on your back?"
He replies .... "That's Michelle"
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Jan, 2021 05:39 pm
@hingehead,
Took me a second, but....
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Jan, 2021 07:39 pm
@cicerone imposter,
me too
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2021 12:39 pm
@roger,
me three........I had to say it out loud
BillW
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Jan, 2021 01:41 pm
@glitterbag,
.....moi quarto....
0 Replies
 
cherrie
 
  4  
Reply Wed 27 Jan, 2021 06:20 am
A truck carrying thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday, losing it's entire load.

Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded,
nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, numbed, speechless, perplexed, fazed, disconcerted, perturbed, disturbed and breath taken.
Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Jan, 2021 07:09 am
@cherrie,

(i am very disoriented after reading that one...)
0 Replies
 
coluber2001
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Jan, 2021 08:38 am
@hingehead,
hingehead wrote:

Naked man turns up to a fancy dress party with a naked woman on his back.
"I'm a turtle" he says.
The host asked... "well who is the girl on your back?"
He replies .... "That's Michelle"


That's me shell, idnit.

That she is naked is irrelevant, but it adds color.


0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  2  
Reply Thu 28 Jan, 2021 09:02 am
https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/2419/0095/files/peefence_29139f9e-e339-4098-bd6b-e175f34fa88a_large.jpg?v=1574069754
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Jan, 2021 09:06 am
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/be/4c/97/be4c9705fc51ef3101d8705b7b1874a2.png
 

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