Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

Oh FFS can we please get back to shitty jokes?

And no, posting a personal manifesto for the umpteenth time and pretending it's just a bad joke is so not what this thread is about.

That's What I Was Doing, My First (And Second) Response In This Thread Was Specifically A "Bad Joke", Like The Title Implies, But People Got Mad At My "Bad" Jokes, So Does That Mean They Are Not Bad?

May I ask that we don't respond to said tosspot, and/or block him - I'm not in the mood to feed an attention whore.

I Came Into This Thread To Make A "Bad Joke", As The Title Says, You Guys Responded To Me, Why Are You Guys So Angry Anyways? I Did EXACTLY What The Title Says, I Think You Guys Are Envious Of Me, No Other Reason For These Attacks. Why Can't We Just Be Friends? Your Tiny Robotic Text, And My Artful Expressive Text, Working Together.

I Mean, I Wished Jespah A Happy Birthday, I Never Down Voted Anyone, I Backed Up Every Post I Made With Evidence, I Always Stayed On Topic And Did As The Title Said, And I Have Been The Very Hallmark Of A Good Character, But You Guys Seem Unhinged In 2020, Along With Everything Else, Getting Mad At Me For Making "Bad Jokes" In A "Bad Joke" Thread. How Do You Not See That You Are The Bad Guy Here?

The answer, in a nutshell (sorry hinge)

We aren’t, 99% of the time, making up the jokes ourselves. Just telling one’s we have heard.
Don’t know if English is your first language, but when we are saying “bad” joke it isn’t meaning one that isn’t funny or written well. Just that it’s one that is more apt to make you groan in a lighthearted way at how silly or “bad” it is.
It also isn’t about stringing some stuff together and calling it a joke, and that it is bad.

This is a thread based on friendship and friendly feelings.

So, in honesty, you’re just the guy at a get together that just wants to argue. So no one ends up speaking with you, and everyone is happy when you go home.

So you think we’re stupid, wrong etc, and have told us so. From here on it’s just repetition on your part.

Good advice Hinge.

Really bad jokes does have a certain risible nominative determinism as the right place to post.

I Did Not Respond To Anyone In This Thread, So I Did Not Go To A Get Together And Ruin Someone Else's Party. The Thread Says "Post Yours Here", I Did That, Then You Guys Attacked Me For Doing What The Title Says, I Think You Guys Are On Edge From 2020's Events, And Anything Outside Your Comfort Zone Throws You Into A Furious Storm, "How Dare He Post His Own Bad Joke On Our Turf HMPH!", You Guys Need To Lighten Up, I Just Did What The Title Asked, I Did Not Impede On Anyone, I Was Impeded On By You Guys, I Didn't Respond To Anyone, Until People Attacked Me, So I'm Just Defending Myself To Say, "Whoa, Whoa, You Guys Got Me All Wrong Here".

I Now Have A Headquarters Called The G-Spot, Better Than Any Despot.

Man 1: Who is that man?
Man 2 : Quasimodo
Man 1: Ah yes ... I though his face rung a bell!

two silkworms were having a race, but they ended up a tie

I think you've posted in the wrong thread glitterbag. Because I was laughing my ass off while reading that!

You should have posted that one in the GOOD jokes thread!

I just remembered a story a former mate told me; he was in someone else's car and the cops pulled them over. His mate said something to the effect of "the drugs and guns are in the boot", so the cops search the boot for the drugs and guns. My former mate and his mate were sitting on the kerb laughing their ass's off, and the cop turns around and says something to the effect of "so where are they?". While I can't remember the whole story, in the end, the cops say "how about we charge you for wasting police time?", and my former mate's mate says "at least you're getting paid for it, I'm not".

That would make him Grumpy.

Letting you all know that I've volunteered for the Russian vaccine trials held here in Brisbane Australia. I received my first shot at 14:30. It’s completely safe with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.

Exactly :-)

хороший

Found this lot in an old folder.

A pretty young gypsy girl knocked on my door and asked if I had any old clothing. I said yes, but asked what I would get in return. She said I could play with her breasts.I thought, that’s fair, tit for tat.
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I’m in trouble with the wife. We were in bed naked and she asked what I would like to do most with her body. Apparently “Identify it” wasn’t the right answer.
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Why men shouldn’t be Agony aunts.

Dear Phil, left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn’t start. I walked back to my house and found my husband in bed with our 19 year old babysitter. They announced that the affair had been going on for two years. Can you help me…I’m desperate.

Dear Reader The most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the fuel lines. Hope this helps. Phil.
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After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, onnce she'd killed herself I started to feel a lot better. So I thought…Sod it…soldier on.
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Just said to the missus…”Hey fat gut..what do you want for Valentines Day”She said “Don’t get f*cking lippy”I said “Mascara it is then!”
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I woke up this morning at 8 and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. Then I remembered McDonalds serve breakfast until 11.30.
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You won’t hear from me for a while. Being investigated for stealing swimming pool inflatables……I gotta lilo.