ANOTHER SMARTASS ANSWER;
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead...'
@Frank Apisa,
Frank, did you ever read Mad Magazine back when it first started up? Your last entry reminded me of "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions".
@hingehead,
Yes it was Al Jaffee......my parents would also let me have the latest Mad Magazine via subscription......I had so many of the paperbacks I can still recite many of the best poems.
I am sooooo done being a people pleaser...
Is everyone OK with that?
@glitterbag,
glitterbag wrote:
Frank, did you ever read Mad Magazine back when it first started up? Your last entry reminded me of "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions".
Yep, I did.
Still have a dozen or so of the old issues stored away downstairs.
YET ANOTHER SMARTASS ANSWER:
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. The officer smiled broadly and said, "I've been waiting for you all day,"
"Yeah," replies the kid, "Well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way with just a warning.
@hingehead,
To complete the ism; Time flies, money flies, and blowflies.
ANOTHER SMARTASS ANSWER:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
"No," the truck driver responds, "I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas."
@Region Philbis,
I was doing the vacuuming in my pants and I wondered how do my bollocks get so ******* dusty.
ANOTHER SMARTASS ANSWER:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Dija hear about the plastic surgeon who hung himself?
