Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

Fra-gee-lay

I love it. As a former bartender, I love bar and bartender jokes.

Wow.

You explained it...and I still didn't get it.

Any chance you could 'splain it again...for those of us in the slow-learner group?

Talking about tough to get jokes...here is one that took me the better part of a day to get...when I was younger.

Did you hear the one about the plastic surgeon who hung himself?

Ffs. Frank the hobo is asking how does the thermos flask know whether it should keep it hot or cold.

That’s the bloody joke.

Oh! Thanks, Izzy.

No way I would have come up with that if I had a month to think about it.

This certainly is the right place for that joke. I laughed harder at your answer to me than to it.

what did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Potomac ?


"Men, get in the boat"

Of course you did. I’m a funny guy.

Shortly after ‘lights out’ on Fred’s first night in a maximum security prison, a convict in an adjoining cell said ‘Fifty four.’

Laughter erupted from all around the cell block.

Shortly thereafter, another convict yelled: ‘Twenty eight’. More laughter.

‘Thirty three’ said a third. Cue further hysterics.

The next morning, when settling down for breakfast in the canteen, Fred asked the guy seated next to him what last night was all about. ‘Someone just yells out a number and everyone laughs. What’s the deal?’

‘It’s a joke-code’, his companion explained. Most of the inmates were ‘lifers’ and had been there for so long, they knew every joke inside out. That is why each joke had a number and just calling out that number was enough for them to hear.

After six months, Fred decided that he should try and fit in. So that night when the ‘joke telling’ was in full swing, he chimed in. ‘Forty eight,’ he said.

Crickets. No laughter. Just a long silence.

At breakfast next day, a humiliated Fred asked his breakfast buddy to explain what had happened. ‘Why didn’t they laugh?’ he asked.

‘Well,’ his companion said. ‘Not everyone can tell a joke.’

Ah panzade!

Wheels within wheels.

I wasn't dissing you personally pan. Yours was a truly bad joke. Bravo!

A certain train on a Southern railroad had been late every day for years, but one day it gasped into the depot exactly on the dot. The marveling passengers got together and made up a handsome purse for the engineer and presented it to him with an elegant speech for being at last on time.

The engineer refused the purse, sadly, saying: "Gentlemen, it breaks my heart to do this , for I sho' do need the money. But this heah is yesterday's train."

x

Loud groan.

That is almost as bad as "Rudolph, the red, knows rain, Dear."

This is a fine example of posts in the thread. It should be held high as an example.