190
   

Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

 
 
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Mon 13 Jul, 2020 05:54 pm

https://i.imgur.com/TRKJaVk.jpg
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Tue 14 Jul, 2020 09:32 am

https://i.imgur.com/pTDtGya.jpg
0 Replies
 
justaguy2
 
  2  
Reply Tue 14 Jul, 2020 10:05 am
My friend asked me: why is time standing still?
I replied: probably because they weren't normal mushrooms you just ate.
0 Replies
 
coluber2001
 
  3  
Reply Wed 15 Jul, 2020 03:48 pm
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."

Watson: "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."

Holmes: "Watson, you idiot, somebody's stolen our tent!"
McGentrix
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Jul, 2020 04:41 pm
@coluber2001,
I must object to this post.

This joke has won many awards and is not a really bad joke.
Region Philbis
 
  2  
Reply Wed 15 Jul, 2020 05:32 pm

https://i.imgur.com/oxbKoIz.jpg
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Jul, 2020 05:29 am
@McGentrix,
McGentrix wrote:

I must object to this post.

This joke has won many awards and is not a really bad joke.


I actually agree with you here, McG.

I love the joke.
Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Jul, 2020 06:17 am
@Frank Apisa,

much like musical taste, joke taste is pretty subjective.

you may groan at something that causes me to ROTFLMAO.

that's why i made the really good joke thread...
Frank Apisa
 
  2  
Reply Thu 16 Jul, 2020 06:51 am
@Region Philbis,
Region Philbis wrote:


that's why i made the really good joke thread...


I appreciate it.

I steal some of my best material for my other forums from this thread.
Region Philbis
 
  2  
Reply Thu 16 Jul, 2020 06:55 am
@Frank Apisa,

(stealing jokes that i already stole ain't stealing in my book...)
0 Replies
 
panzade
 
  3  
Reply Thu 16 Jul, 2020 07:38 am
@coluber2001,
That(Sherlock) is one of my favorite jokes that my late father loved to tell.

Like Reeg said. Jokes are a personal and arbitrary subject

Here’s another of my dad’s favorites...highly condensed.

A reporter was stopping people on the street and asking them what the most amazing invention of the 20th century was.

The first person replied that it was the jet airplane. Because it had made the world so much smaller.

The second said it was modern medicine because it had saved so many lives.

Finally he asked an old wino shuffling down the street.

The wino thought long and hard and finally replied “the thermos“

The reporter was surprised and asked him what is so amazing about the thermos?

“Well ,If you put something hot in it it keeps it hot.
But if you put something cold in it it keeps it cold.

How do it know?


Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Jul, 2020 08:05 am
Probably these have been posted earlier, but I still like 'em.

Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face."
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Jul, 2020 08:06 am
A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Jul, 2020 08:08 am
New variation:

Carly Fiorina walks into a bar where Trump is having a drink. Trump says, "Why the long face?"
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  0  
Reply Thu 16 Jul, 2020 07:59 pm
@panzade,
Panzade that really must be an awful joke because I totally don’t get it.

oralloy
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 16 Jul, 2020 08:25 pm
@chai2,
The last line should be "How does it know?"

The joke is suggesting that "keeping something hot" versus "keeping it cold" are two separate actions, and a thermos would need to make a conscious decision between the two options.
MontereyJack
 
  2  
Reply Thu 16 Jul, 2020 08:35 pm
@oralloy,
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
MontereyJack
 
  2  
Reply Thu 16 Jul, 2020 08:36 pm
@Frank Apisa,
A termite walks into a vbar and asks, "is the bar tender here?"
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Thu 16 Jul, 2020 08:53 pm
@MontereyJack,
MontereyJack wrote:

Thank you, Captain Obvious.


It wasn’t obvious to me. I got all tied up in the how is that the greatest invention ever. The buildup and the punchline aren’t suited to each other. That’s what makes it so bad.

I’m pretty quick witted, but when something doesn’t match up like that I start over thinking it, trying to figure out what I’m missing. Like I’m equally discombobulated over the fact it was a wino saying it. What does that have to do with anything? It could have been so many other people. Why a wino? Then I got caught up trying to make a connection between alcohol and a thermos. Not just any alcohol either. Wine.

That’s what make this joke so terribly bad. So many ways to go wrong, and it took all of them.

You are the winner of an Important Award Panzade.

It will be arriving to home soon. You’ll know it’s from Italy because the box will be marked “FRAGILE “

fobvius
 
  2  
Reply Thu 16 Jul, 2020 09:27 pm
@MontereyJack,
As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection,
"Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog," the vet muttered.
0 Replies
 
 

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