183
   

Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

 
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Jun, 2019 08:05 pm
@MontereyJack,

“Dad, how do you feel about abortions?”
“Well, why don’t you ask your sister?”
“But I don’t have a…”
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  2  
Reply Sun 23 Jun, 2019 05:57 pm

https://i.imgur.com/O9yGDeV.jpg
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Jun, 2019 07:08 pm
@Region Philbis,
in·ev·i·ta·bly
/inˈevidəblē/
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  4  
Reply Mon 24 Jun, 2019 05:04 pm
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/ab/40/cc/ab40cc15b6e145ef0bcbea6821885c53.jpg
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Jun, 2019 05:20 pm
@hingehead,
A double-whammy! Brain dead, two times.
0 Replies
 
coluber2001
 
  5  
Reply Wed 26 Jun, 2019 01:00 pm
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0d/02/74/0d0274de429e4c0917faa5331be6facb.jpg
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Thu 27 Jun, 2019 12:37 pm

https://i.imgur.com/eojBa3D.jpg
0 Replies
 
Roberta
 
  4  
Reply Fri 28 Jun, 2019 09:48 pm
I've spent the last two days waiting for the plumber. He arrived at 11:05 p.m. tonight and left at 11:15. Problem fixed. This situation has put me in mind of a very old, bad joke.

A couple goes out for the afternoon, forgetting that the plumber was supposed to come over to fix a drain.

The plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The couple's parrot, a talker, says, "Who is it?"

The plumber says, "It's the plumber." He waits, but no one comes to the door so he knocks again. The parrot says, "Who is it?" The plumber again says, "It's the plumber." This goes on for a while. The plumber knocking, the bird asking, "Who is it?" and the plumber saying again and again, "It's the plumber."

Each time it happens the man becomes increasingly angry, upset, and frustrated. He reaches a point where he can no longer stand it. He has a heart attack and drops dead right in front of the door.

The couple arrives home. They are shocked to see a dead man lying on the floor outside their door. The wife says, "Who is it?"

The parrot says, "It's the plumber."

leball
 
  4  
Reply Mon 1 Jul, 2019 10:17 pm
@Roberta,
Why do we have armies??

So we can wave our handies
chai2
 
  6  
Reply Sun 7 Jul, 2019 03:53 pm
@leball,
I had to pay a dollar to put air in my tires the other day. It used to cost a quarter.

Well, that's inflation for you.
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Sun 7 Jul, 2019 07:04 pm
@chai2,
Better than a deflation tire.
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  4  
Reply Mon 8 Jul, 2019 04:49 am
https://i.chzbgr.com/full/9327810816/hD189C0E7/
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  4  
Reply Mon 8 Jul, 2019 05:07 am

‏ @MarcherLord1

Someone’s getting fired at Netflix today

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/a3/cf/9e/a3cf9e2abb4b15fd104f94e12673a361.jpg
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Thu 11 Jul, 2019 03:25 am

https://imgur.com/wQqMTf9.jpg
0 Replies
 
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Jul, 2019 03:44 am
@chai2,
<shaking head in disbelief>
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  4  
Reply Thu 11 Jul, 2019 04:31 am
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/0d/e6/26/0de62622fbc3cb01ad4352944c039c43.jpg
coluber2001
 
  2  
Reply Thu 11 Jul, 2019 10:05 pm
@hingehead,
https://pics.esmemes.com/i-ran-into-a-girl-at-a-vegan-restaurant-who-47406519.png
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  4  
Reply Thu 18 Jul, 2019 03:37 am

https://imgur.com/mujRMRQ.jpg
lmur
 
  5  
Reply Thu 18 Jul, 2019 11:58 am
@Region Philbis,
I called to our local apiarist and asked for a dozen bees. He counted out thirteen. I said: "That's one too many." "Consider it a freebie", he replied.
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Fri 26 Jul, 2019 12:24 pm

https://i.imgur.com/NIqIBYK.jpg
 

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