Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

I wasn't raped.

This is the bad joke thread, not the saying random **** and calling it a joke thread.

I'm more inclined to think that gondwanaland, the super-continent of the southern hemisphere, was the starting point. More evidence of ancient life is emerging today, in Australia, which was, of course, part of that continent.

How does an evil cow laugh?

Moohaha

Gondwanaland formed before the first land animals (insects) arose, and it broke up before the dinosaurs went extinct, so it would have no direct impact on the dispersal of humans during their evolution.

That depends wholly upon current theory. It's not set in concrete. Just mud.

Really? What I have read in the last postings were social conversations and no bad jokes.

The Catholic priest noticed that people filled up the collecting plate with bills of one dollar, five dollars, twenty dollars, but when he was in his office, the deacon have left the collecting plate with a few one dollar bills only.

This event happened for a few weeks, until the priest had very hard times paying the electric bill, the water bill and the gas bill of the church, so he confronted the deacon in a very stealthy way.

-Cicero, I have noticed that you have not confessed your sins since a year ago.

-It's OK Father, I have not much to confess, I have been behaving well lately.

-Still, I consider that you must confess your sins and be absolved so you can participate in the Eucharist on next Sunday.

-Don't worry Father, I'm OK.

-No, Cicero. You better come with me and tell me your sins and be absolved.

Both of them were to the confession booth, and as soon both took their places, the priest went straight to the point.

-Cicero, before anything, I have noticed that the money you leave on my desk is lesser than the money collected in the mass service. Do you know who is taking most of that money?

-Father, I can't hear you.

-Cicero, -the priest rose up his voice- who is stealing the money from the collecting plate?

-Father, I can't hear you.

-Well, lets exchange places and try again.

And both took the other's seat.

The priest was ready to start his interrogatory but Cicero talked first.

-Father, before you ask me any question... Do you know who is F*cking my wife since a year ago when I'm not home?

-Cicero, I can't hear you.

Which in no way takes away from the fact that you say random (and stupid) ****.

You’re kidding, right?

New discoveries are being made all the time. There's still no explanation for the massive footprint set in stone in south Africa, or for the origins or age of the Bradshaw painting in the west Kimberleys.

https://www.inquisitr.com/2381076/giant-humanoid-footprint-more-than-200-million-years-old-found-in-south-africa-video/

http://bradshawfoundation.com/bradshaws/

So you think the timeline of one of these two events is misunderstood by over 200 million years?

The "giant" must have been on its back and dipped its foot in the molten rock.

Builder has more knowledge than all the scientists that have studied human evolution. He needs to explain what he means by,

Current scientific findings.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/07/170705132917.htm



Builder needs to provide evidence that this finding is mud.

Don't get him started on 9/11.

Hey, what happened to the lousy jokes?

I believe it was requested I never post them again. That's how dreadful they were.

Once there were two gay judges. They tried each other.

Just think of it this way - when you're on trial, your fate is being settled by twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Milton Berle

And I volunteered for civil grand jury service in 2003-2004.

He's also a Holocaust denier who claims the Bible justifies the oppression of black people everywhere.

I remember my parents wanting to send me to a Catholic high school. The tuition was high but they said they would afford it somehow. I told them flat out that if they enrolled me I simply wouldn't go. No temper tantrum, no whining. They must've taken me seriously because they enrolled me in the public high.
I think it was guilt over this that made me go through with Confirmation.
It was sad to see them stagnate in their old age. The church gave them every reason to not develop mentally and spiritually. My father remained devoutly brainwashed to his last day. My mother is still alive and has stepped back from being an active Catholic, but not because of her objectively examining her beliefs, but because of her dissatisfaction with how the church handles money and prayer requests. She is racked with guilt over this and will be as long as she lives.

Is that true?

Ha ha ha ha

We need Fidel Castro here so he can send these liars "al paredòn"... Lol