Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

Welcome to Bookbinding Club. Please make yourselves a tome.

Please bind with the other members.

What do cigarettes and squirrels have in common?











They're both harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Not a nerd joke, just a nerd-lite response -

A. I quit smoking for the second and last time cold turkey in '82, and don't miss cigs at all. But, if I ever get into med marijuana, I'll go for the baked stuff, still not trusting myself re cigs. Almost more than the nicotine, I think I stayed with it so long for all the fiddling one gets into, with lighters, cigarette cases, ash trays, and so on.

B. I would never smoke a squirrel, they are too cute! Also, on occasion they show up carrying rabies.

C. No chipmunks in my purse either, the little darlings. None around here, alas.

D. Besides, chipmunk fiddling sounds dirty.

Osso,

A joke you might not get. But here goes.

I think it's admirable that you are willing to put the idea of pot smoking on the back burner, you seem like the knife hitting type.

I don't understand the "knife hitting type", can't tell if it is funny or sincere, but tell me more.

Are you saying I'm a person who would denounce pot growers?

Honey, the day I drove the forest to move there, the radio stations were quickly pointing to where the helicopters were.

I've some worries re water use and the local creeks.. but I'm not up to date on those issues.

You may want to read, once in a while, a good paper, in my view, North Coast Journal. Sharp writers.

Google knife hits weed. Itll tell you all you need to get the joke. The key words here are "back burner" double entendre.

I'm way out of getting what you are saying.

It's a rather verbose term for hotknives.



http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hot%20knife

sounds like a lot of work for very little result. I used to carry a pipe made from a silver thimble with a ss tube as a stem.

could be disassembled nd stashed very quickly of one had been smoking while driving

It's quite horrible to look at, a far cry from passing spliffs, it looks more like drug abuse than enjoyment. Lots of coughing and spluttering.

I quit cigarettes, but smoke cigars when I'm in Cuba. Even splurged $40 each for my buddy and I, and he treated me to one that cost $50. Those expensive stogies are really very good, but not as a regular smoke.
My favorite is the Pategas D4 which cost around $17 each.

What happened to the jokes? Sometimes a goil needs a laugh.

A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.

Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect."

To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock that big."

Oh crap, I'm still laughing at that one.