@Glennn,
Quote:A bear and a rabbit are sitting in the woods side by side taking a dump. The bear turns to the rabbit and says, "So, tell me, rabbit, do you have trouble with **** sticking to your fur?"
"Nope. Not at all," the rabbit replies.
The bear says, "Good," and then grabs the rabbit and wipes his ass with him.
Ever since I was a kid this joke never made any sense to me. What's the good of wiping your arse with something **** doesn't stick to? Like greaseproof paper. Stupid bear.
@hingehead,
Um. It's not that **** doesn't stick to the rabbit's fur... it's that the rabbit doesn't have a problem (i.e., isn't upset) with **** sticking to its fur.
@DrewDad,
Now that makes sense - I never saw it that way.
@hingehead,
Both meanings are in play. **** really doesn't stick to a rabbit's fur because it comes out in little hard pellets but the bear is taking it to mean that he wouldn't be upset by **** sticking to his fur.
Pearly (ex bunny owner)
Invited to a costume party? Broke? Try these simple ideas:
Two guys from America are exploring Africa, when they're captured by a tribe of natives. They're taken back to the tribal camp and tied to stakes. The chief tells them that they have a choice; they can choose ungqingili or death. The chief then points to one of them and says, "What do you choose?"
The guy has no idea what ungqingili is, but figures that anything is better than death, so he chooses ungqingili. The chief then raises his staff and says, "The prisoner chooses ungqingili," at which point, a couple of the natives untie the prisoner and take him to a spot where he is stripped naked and made to bend over a big log. Then all of the natives form a long line and have anal sex with him, one after the other.
When they're finished, the guy is free to leave, but is only able to drag himself along the ground at not even half-crawl speed. He's bleeding badly and crying in agony, but somehow manages to reach the border of the camp.
The chief then turns to the other guy and says, "Do you choose death, or ungqingili?"
Having witnessed what had just happened to his buddy, the guy decides to himself that it would be better to die. And so he chooses death.
The chief, once again, raises his staff and says, "The prisoner chooses death ... by ungqingile!"
A man and a dog get into a bar.
The man says to the bartender:
"My dog can speak. Would you give me a free beer if I make his speak?"
"Sure!"
So the man asks the dog:
"What's the opposite of floor?"
"Roof! Roof!", answers the dog.
"Come on, don't kid me!", says the bartender.
"OK. I'll ask the dog another question. Who's the enemy of the three little piggies?"
"Wolf! Wolf!", answers the dog.
"Don't pull my leg, man!", says the bartender.
"Wait! I'll ask my dog another question yet: Who's the greatest baseball player in history?"
"Ruth! Ruth", answers the dog.
"Get out of here!", yells the bartender, and kicks the man and his dog out of the bar.
So the man and the dog are walking down the street, and the dog says to his master:
"Sorry boss, I forgot we are in Boston, I think I should've answered Ted Williams".
@fbaezer,
new twist on an old joke...un buen chiste
Stolen from this.
White Christmas - Cast List
Emma Dreaming
Arfur White
Chris Muss
Jess Like-Dee
Juan Swee
Hugh Sterno
Wendy Treetops-Glissen
Anne Chilled-Wren
Liz Anne
"Two Ears" Laybelle
Cindy Snow
Emma Dreaming
Arfur White
Chris Musswit
Avery Crease
Miss Carr
Dai Wright
Mayor Dazeby
Mary Anne Bright
Anna-May Hall-York-Rhys
Mrs B White
A bloke is a member of a comedy group. He turns up to the club one night to be told his partners with their scripts and costumes are stuck in another city. The organisers decide to add him to each other performing group throughout the evening to hone their impro skills. He is shared skitless.
Read more:
http://www.smh.com.au/comment/when-the-weird-turn-pro-20151016-gkb0s2.html#ixzz3opvYwtaA
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Darling,
you've always been with me on life's long bumpy ride.
Through sickness, hair loss, bankruptcy.
You've been here by my side - my heart attack and the
house burning down, also that night when lightning struck.
Then liver cancer....
but now, suddenly I am starting to think that you're bad luck.
@Builder,
Builder! How the f*ck have you been?
@hingehead,
Quote:How the f*ck have you been?
Good Hinge. Building a THOW at the moment. How're you?
@Builder,
Drowning in work but intend to (mostly) have a weekend this time.
