183
   

Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

 
 
Lustig Andrei
 
  2  
Reply Sun 3 May, 2015 11:13 pm
@Region Philbis,
Double-whammy there.
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 May, 2015 06:28 am
@Lustig Andrei,
John Hodgman wrote:

Preparation H. These aren't the roids you are looking for

May 4, 2015 @Midnight.
0 Replies
 
timur
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 May, 2015 10:48 am
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter.

He says "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that Im granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be."

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* shes gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna;" and *poof* shes gone.

The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.

"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says; "Im sorry, but that name just doesnt ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.

He reads the paper and starts laughing.

He hands it back to her and says "No sister, the paper says it was the Sahara Pipeline that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."
0 Replies
 
Kolyo
 
  2  
Reply Thu 7 May, 2015 12:16 pm
Well, after "Super Bowl XLIX", the NFL is opting for "Super Bowl 50" instead of "Super Bowl L".

An American institution is abandoning Roman numerals for Arabic.

Thanks Obama... Rolling Eyes
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 May, 2015 01:05 pm
@Kolyo,
http://i61.tinypic.com/2lnu8oz.jpg
https://www.facebook.com/1013TheBrew/photos/a.195619466488.123649.110527966488/10153261110451489/?type=1
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  6  
Reply Thu 7 May, 2015 02:32 pm
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there's a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He's been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air and hands it back.
"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.

"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman, are you this nice to every guy you meet?"




"No," she replies. . .
"You just happened to catch my eye."

No Groaning ..... Just Laugh
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 May, 2015 04:24 pm
@Phoenix32890,
I swear Phoenix tell's the worst jokes . . .


















. . . Salute !! ! !
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  4  
Reply Sat 16 May, 2015 04:14 am

https://scontent-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/11225267_10156199483230377_786355726899914974_n.jpg?oh=7db17ac2b695a393491ade4a9434ab59&oe=55CA3979
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Sun 17 May, 2015 04:45 pm
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CFKPyBjW0AAb79Y.jpg
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  2  
Reply Tue 19 May, 2015 04:04 pm
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/4a/2a/21/4a2a212cefedcd7923a11bdbbb19780e.jpg
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Wed 20 May, 2015 12:59 am
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/4f/31/18/4f3118f1e1fefbc68df7fc8c0b3f5ca0.jpg
0 Replies
 
RyanO45
 
  0  
Reply Thu 21 May, 2015 02:47 pm
A man woke up out of bed. What was the first thing he saw? DEEZ NUTS. AHA
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 May, 2015 04:51 pm
@RyanO45,
Are you related to carlosbaron?
hingehead
 
  0  
Reply Thu 21 May, 2015 05:00 pm
@glitterbag,
mercifully much less long-winded.
0 Replies
 
Wilso
 
  0  
Reply Thu 21 May, 2015 10:32 pm
@glitterbag,
Glad it's not just me.
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  2  
Reply Thu 21 May, 2015 11:17 pm
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/e0/c8/e4/e0c8e4809e241036dc3a9ec1e98c0f66.jpg
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  2  
Reply Thu 21 May, 2015 11:33 pm
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/bc/bb/2d/bcbb2d1072bd928661b2dec3a7b23bab.jpg
0 Replies
 
glenelkins
 
  -1  
Reply Mon 25 May, 2015 05:54 am
@Mame,
Masturbating when connected to a heart monitor gets the nurses going, they never know if you are coming or going!
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 May, 2015 06:46 pm
http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/MjAxMi03OWVhOThmZjYwOWNiNjRk.png
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  2  
Reply Mon 25 May, 2015 07:37 pm
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a8/96/ea/a896ea48382483feeee8b7d63f111986.jpg
0 Replies
 
 

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