Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

I first read it here, vonny. It's back on an earlier page.

Originally a Young Johnny joke.

A blonde driver is pulled over by a patrol car. The officer approached the driver’s door.

“Is there a problem, officer?”

“You were speeding. Can I see your license please?”

“I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.”

“You don’t have one?”

“I lost it four times for drunk driving.”

“I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“I stole this car.”

“Stole it?”

The blonde says, “Yes, and I killed the owner.”

At this point the officer is getting stressed. “You what?”

“The body is in the trunk. You can look if you want.”

The officer slowly backs away and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approached the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

The senior officer said, “Could you step out of your vehicle please!”

The blonde stepped out of the vehicle. “Is there a problem, officer?”

The officer responded, “Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please?”

The blonde opened the trunk, which was empty.

The officer said, “Is this your car ma'am?”

The blonde said, “Yes,” and handed over the registration papers.

The officer, understandably, is quite stunned.

“One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.”

The blonde handed a license to the officer.

The officer examined the license. He looked quite puzzled. “Thank you. One of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, stole this car, and murdered the owner.”

The blonde replied, “I bet you that liar told you I was speeding, too!”

The topic for my ninth-grade class was palindromes, which are words or sentences that are the same read forward and backward.
I asked the question, "What is the first thing Adam said to Eve?"
I was expecting the answer "Madam, I'm Adam," but one student had a better reply:
"Wow."

Wow! The world has truly been turned upside down. Is this the first smart blonde joke?

It must have been written by a blonde!

I think this was the first Smart blonde joke
A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move.

"You know," he says,"I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," says the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop? Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."

"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know ****?"

while on a tour of Iraq years ago President bush came upon a camel with a stepstool next to it. When he asked what that was his guide told him sometimes late at night the enlisted men get horny. Late that night, President bush sneaked out back, got on the stepstool and began violating the camel. When the commanding officer of the camp found him he informed the President the stepstool was to get on the camel and ride into town to the local whorehouse.

Jack knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow and is curious about his sudden change in his fashion sense. Jack finally walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
Jack falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing it?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

Me: "Can you fill the prescription?"

Pharmacist: "It's written in mustard, it's on a cocktail napkin, and it just says, "THE GOOD STUFF."

Me: "Is that a yes?"

http://thatsgrace.tumblr.com/post/84252819306/q-a-puppies-bras-and-broken-fingers

After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were:
His dizzy aunt . . . . Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes . . . . Gotta Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store . . . Stopn Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia . . . U Gogh
The cousin from Illinois . . . Chica Gogh
His magician uncle . . . Wherediddy Gogh
His Spanish cousin . . . Amee Gogh
The Spanish cousin's American half brother . . .Grin Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt . . . Tan Gogh
A sister who loved disco . . . Go Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach . . . Wellsfar Gogh
The bird lover's uncle . . . Flaming Gogh
His arrogant uncle . . . E Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking . . . Wayto Gogh
The little bouncy nephew . . . Poe Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in a van . . .Winnie BayGogh

It's even funnier if you pronounce 'Gogh' properly. Stopncock!

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol: dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke: dead.
Third worm in chocolate syrup: dead.
Fourth worm in good clean soil: alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation, “What did you learn from this demonstration?”
Betty Lou was sitting in the back and quickly raised her hand and said, “As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!” That pretty much ended the service.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/anti-jokes-that-will-make-you-laugh-even-if-you-dont-want

Not really. Their clap is silent, and humans are not capable to hear them.