183
   

Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

 
 
Joe Nation
 
  4  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2014 03:07 pm
@Frank Apisa,
MY ALL TIME FAVORITE HARD-OF-HEARING JOKE:

Guy walks into a bar and say to friend " Hey, Al, I got a new hearing aid and I didn't pay a thousand bucks like you, I only paid two hundred dollars."

"Yeah?" says Al "What kind is it?"

Guy says "It's about a quarter to five."

Joe(rimshot)Nation
0 Replies
 
panzade
 
  2  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2014 03:30 pm
@blueveinedthrobber,
Had a bad day in Raleigh Bear?

The Apocalypse
Armageddon
or
Glenwood Ave.
https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1/1920543_10152192564303431_259801825_n.jpg
blueveinedthrobber
 
  4  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2014 03:46 pm
@panzade,
You don't know the half of it
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/stevetheq/raleighapocalypse_zps42774cf8.jpg
0 Replies
 
blueveinedthrobber
 
  3  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2014 03:55 pm
@panzade,
and then it got even worse
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/stevetheq/stapuft_zps2c2ae3b1.jpg
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  3  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2014 04:15 pm
@panzade,
My god! They're burning cars to keep warm. This is looking kind of grim.
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hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2014 07:55 pm
http://mediacdn.snorgcontent.com/media/catalog/product/i/l/iloveyouraccent_fullpic_1.jpg
0 Replies
 
Jack of Hearts
 
  2  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2014 09:56 pm
@dadpad,

Q. Why can't witches have babies?

A. Because their husbands have hollow-weenies.
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vonny
 
  6  
Reply Fri 14 Feb, 2014 05:36 am
A religious women upon waking up each morning would open her front door stand on the porch and scream, “Praise the lord.” This infuriated her atheist neighbor who would always make sure to counter back, “there is no Lord.” One morning the atheist neighbor overheard his neighbor praying for food, thinking it would be funny, he went and bought her all sorts of groceries and left them on her porch. The next morning the lady screamed, “praise the Lord, who gave me this food.” The neighbor laughing so hard he could barely get the words out screamed “it wasn’t the Lord, it was me.” The lady without missing a beat screamed “praise the Lord for not only giving me food but making the atheist pay for it!!”
Jack of Hearts
 
  4  
Reply Fri 14 Feb, 2014 11:04 am
@anonymously99stwin,
anonymously99stwin wrote:

Stupid me.

That, I won't argue. Laughing
Germlat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Feb, 2014 12:59 pm
@vonny,
Smile Smile Smile ...
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  4  
Reply Fri 14 Feb, 2014 02:39 pm

So I gunned down 45 innocent people in Boots for her this morning but it turns out she wanted Valentines Day mascara.
0 Replies
 
vonny
 
  3  
Reply Fri 14 Feb, 2014 02:46 pm
One day, while strolling down the boardwalk, John bumped into an old friend of his, Rob, from high school. “You look great John, how do you stay looking so young? Why you must be 60 already but you don’t look a day over 40!” Rob exclaimed.

“I feel like I’m 40 too!” replied John.

“That’s incredible” exclaimed Rob, “Does it run in the family? How old was your dad when he passed?”

“Did I say he was dead?” asked John. “He’s 81 and is more active then ever. He just joined the neighborhood basketball team!” responded John.

“Whoa! Well how old was your Grandfather when he died?”

“Did I say he died” asked John. Rob was amazed. “He just had his 105th birthday and plays golf and goes swimming each day! He’s actually getting married this week!”

“Getting married?!” Rob asked. If he’s 105, why on earth does he want to get married?!

John looked at Rob and replied, “Did I say he wanted to get married!"
0 Replies
 
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izzythepush
 
  5  
Reply Sat 15 Feb, 2014 03:29 am
My uncle's been very poorly, last week we tried covering him with lard, but after that he went downhill very quickly.
0 Replies
 
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vonny
 
  4  
Reply Sat 15 Feb, 2014 10:50 am
A Priest and a Rabbi were eating together when the priest started to tease the Rabbi.”Wow, this ham is really good” he said licking his lips.”I know it’s against your religion, but when are you going to break down and finally have some.”After a moments thought the Rabbi responded with a smile “at your wedding!”
Advocate
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Feb, 2014 11:33 am
@vonny,
This thread is supposed to be about "bad" jokes.
0 Replies
 
 

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