182
   

Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

 
 
Advocate
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Nov, 2013 06:15 pm
@Lustig Andrei,
I cheated. Sorry!
0 Replies
 
spikepipsqueak
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Nov, 2013 07:45 am
@hingehead,


Sorry about that, hinge. I liked those 2 so much that I was cutting and pasting to post them on another site. Got mixed up. (blush)
Region Philbis
 
  5  
Reply Fri 22 Nov, 2013 09:59 am

https://scontent-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/575354_10153534802065377_94230165_n.jpg
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Nov, 2013 12:09 pm
@Region Philbis,
That's funny...I had to share
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  2  
Reply Fri 22 Nov, 2013 01:34 pm
@spikepipsqueak,
No apology required at all, it just tweaked my memory because that line is on some old vinyl I own and it made me wonder if I'd ever posted it- I had... In 2004! Once a decade for repeats is more than reasonable Smile
0 Replies
 
vonny
 
  7  
Reply Fri 22 Nov, 2013 02:33 pm
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off the driver's door of the Lexus. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and it wasn't more than 5 minutes before a policeman pulled up.
Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Didn't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"My God!" screamed the lawyer, "Where is my Rolex?"
0 Replies
 
Advocate
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Nov, 2013 02:39 pm
@Region Philbis,
Region Philbis wrote:


https://scontent-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/575354_10153534802065377_94230165_n.jpg


Too funny! No, wait, I didn't mean that.
0 Replies
 
cherrie
 
  9  
Reply Sat 23 Nov, 2013 04:31 am
A man walks into a bar with a big lizard on his shoulder.
Bartender asks, "What's your lizard's name?"
The man replies, "Tiny".
Bartender says , "Why do you call him Tiny?"
The man answers, "Because he's my newt."
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Nov, 2013 04:33 am
That was really awful . . . i congratulate you.
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Sat 23 Nov, 2013 09:12 am

https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/1392836_576702425733007_883950059_n.jpg
0 Replies
 
panzade
 
  3  
Reply Sat 23 Nov, 2013 11:29 pm
https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/580602_604084779639265_1918918542_n.jpg
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2013 07:27 pm
NSFW warning - scroll down or avert your eyes this joke may contain sexual references.






















A teacher asked her class to name things that ended with 'tor' that ate
things.

The first little boy said, "Alligator."

"Very good James, that's a big word."

The second boy said, "Predator."

"Yes, that's another big word Alan. Very well done."

Little Johnny says, "Vibrator."

After nearly falling off her chair, she says, "That is a big word
Johnny, but it doesn't eat anything."

"Well my sister has one and she says it eats ******* batteries like
there's no tomorrow!"
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2013 05:19 am
https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/994400_480933155348694_194151874_n.jpg
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  4  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2013 06:35 am
https://scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1476126_546459422107447_1129295077_n.jpg
0 Replies
 
Lordyaswas
 
  3  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2013 07:35 am
I ordered some festive German Sausage from a new internet supplier this year, which is due to be delivered around the 17th December.

I'm expecting the Wurst.
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2013 11:42 am

https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/1468595_422859467840601_1115964688_n.jpg
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  2  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2013 06:16 pm
@cherrie,
The 'my newt' joke is particularly bad because newts aren't lizards - they're amphibians not reptiles.

Just sayin' 'Well done'.
Roberta
 
  3  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2013 06:34 pm
@hingehead,
HH, Can't tell you how I fought with myself not to mention this.
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2013 06:39 pm
@Roberta,
You have infinitely more grace and less anality than I do Boida.
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  4  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2013 07:17 pm

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/1471299_772881659393521_2105643734_n.jpg
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

Oddities and Humor - Discussion by edgarblythe
Let's play "Caption the Photo" II - Discussion by gustavratzenhofer
JIM NABORS WAS GOY? - Question by farmerman
Funny Pictures ***Slow Loading*** - Discussion by JerryR
Caption The Cartoon - Discussion by panzade
Geek and Nerd Humor - Discussion by Robert Gentel
Caption The Cartoon Part Deux - Discussion by panzade
IS IT OK FOR ME TO CHEAT? - Question by Setanta
2008 Election: Political Humor - Discussion by Robert Gentel
 
Copyright © 2019 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.05 seconds on 07/17/2019 at 02:30:35