Cronut walks into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve food here!"
@hingehead,
hingehead wrote:
The 'my newt' joke is particularly bad because newts aren't lizards - they're amphibians not reptiles.
Just sayin' 'Well done'.
I know, but given that it is a joke, does it really matter?
And thank you.
@cherrie,
Nothing really matters...
too-oo me.
@Region Philbis,
What was Anne Boleyn's brother called?
Tenpin.
A couple were out doing their Christmas shopping together.
The shopping centre was packed, and as the wife emerged from a shoe and handbag store, she was surprised to see that her husband was nowhere to be seen.
Irritated because they had a lot to do she called his mobile to ask where he was.
In a subdued voice he replied "Do you remember that jewelery shop we went to a couple of years ago, where you fell in love with that beautiful diamond necklace we couldn't afford, and I promised to buy it for you one day?"
Barely able to contain her emotions, and with tears forming in her eyes she said softly "Yes, of course I remember."
"Well I'm in the pub next door to that."
Only Australian's will laugh.
Two cockies in northwest NSW are leaning over a fence.
Bob: Ya goin' to tha' show?
Ted: Reckon I might.
Bob: What route ya gonna take?
Ted: I thought I might take the wife - after all, she stuck with me through the drought.
Blimey!! Some diddi voted down my Anne Boleyn joke and that's as bad as it gets.
@spendius,
Your Anne Boleyn joke is as bad as it gets!
That's the theme of this thread.
@cicerone imposter,
So why did the diddi down thumb it and cancel out the well deserved up thumb?
@cicerone imposter,
I'm inclined to think it a her.
A bloke wouldn't down thumb a dreadful joke on a bad joke thread.
Although I'll admit it might be somebody who goes under the crude biological definition of a bloke.
@hingehead,
hingehead wrote:
Only Australian's will laugh.
Two cockies in northwest NSW are leaning over a fence.
Bob: Ya goin' to tha' show?
Ted: Reckon I might.
Bob: What route ya gonna take?
Ted: I thought I might take the wife - after all, she stuck with me through the drought.
I asked by Aussie cousin about the joke, and he liked it. Apparently, the word is "root," not "route," and it means, although he wasn't explicit, "piece of ass."
@Advocate,
Quote:
I asked by Aussie cousin about the joke, and he liked it. Apparently, the word is "root," not "route," and it means, although he wasn't explicit, "piece of ass."
It's pretty much interchangable with **** ... to root, to have a root, to be a good root. It's not a word I use - and definitely not in polite company.
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it."
He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She answers, "Your horse called."
