Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

GROOOOAN!!

Good to have you back Mc G

I discovered from bitter experience as a young man that you can't drink Canada dry.

good one!

That reminds me of the note somebody had tacked up near the fax machine at a classical music radio station.

IF IT AIN'T BAROQUE, DON'T FAX IT

Doctor: I see, and when did the diarrhea commence?

Patient: I can't rightly say, doctor.

Doctor: I mean when was the first indication of it?

Patient: Oh, that would have been when I took off me bicycle clips.

Dolly Parton has announced she is going into the grocery business. She has acquired controlling interests in the Big Star, Piggly Wiggly, and Harris Teeter supermarkets, and plans to re-brand them as "Big Wiggly Teeters."

Let us not forget the venerable Little Johnny joke . . .

Little Johnny gets to school one day, and he is bruised and scratched and his clothing is torn. The teacher asks him:

Johnny, what happened to you ? ! ? ! ?

Me an' my brother were walkin' to school and a big dog jumped out an' attacked me! But my brother kicked him right in the asshole!

Johnny, you mean rectum.

Wrecked 'im Hell, he damn near killed him!

Little Johnny walks into the bathroom just as his mother is stepping out of the shower. He stares right at her crotch, and, pointing to her pubic hair, asks:

Oh, Mommy, what's that?

Confused and embarrassed, his mother says the first thing that pops into her head:

Uh, that's my washcloth.

Oh, i get it . . . the neighbor lady likes to wash Daddy's face!

Mr Jones goes to his doctor and complains that the cream he prescribed had caused a large tit to grow on his head.
The doctor looks at the tube of cream and tells him that he's been rubbing breast enlarger on his head, as opposed to the prescribed hair restorer.

"I think you've mixed medicines with your wife, Mr Jones"

"No wonder she's been shaving her chest", Jones replies, "but what the hell do I do about my situation? I can't just walk around with a ruddy great tit on my head!"

"Well, Mr Jones, you could always paint it blue and join the Police Force."





















Evenin' all.

I know one that has the same lead-in but a different punch line. But I won't tell it here.

As a matter of fact, I agree.

My boss texted me, "Send me one of your funny jokes." I replied, "I'm working at the moment, I will send you one later." He replied, "That was fantastic, send me another one."

What's Brown And Sticky?







A Stick!

19 Clean Jokes To Tell Your Kids…That Are Actually Funny
Tell them once and they’ll make you tell them 10,000 times.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/bensmith/clean-jokes-to-tell-your-kids-that-are-actually-funny

Syrup thickened up with rust.