@ossobuco,
IRFrank has a new thread that provides some background, osso:
http://able2know.org/topic/206294-1#post-5229036
i dont care who does it, or how many of them it takes, will someone just change the sodding lightbulb?!?!?!
Go all-LED. You won't have to worry about it ever again.
"float like a wedding cake, sting like a clock" - Muhammed Dali
One did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
If we don't some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts.
A tourist in Vienna goes through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.
He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827."
Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony, and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar.
When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.
By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.
Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the group asks him if he has an explanation for the music.
"Don't you get it?" the caretaker says incredulously. "He's decomposing."
@Advocate,
God will punish you for that, Ad.
@Advocate,
Thud! Smelling salts, please.
when my girlfriend said she was leaving me because of my obssession with the band "the monkees", i didnt believe her.
and then i saw her face.
@tsarstepan,
lol i could go on forever...really trying my hardest not to spam here :p
my girlfriend says she is leaving me beacause i'm obssessed with getting revenge.
we'll see about that!
i have a dream...a dream that one day, chickens will be able to cross roads without having their motives questioned.
i used to be in a band called "missing cat!"
you've probably seen our posters.
so a woman got wooden breast inplants the other day.
This joke would be funny if it had a punchline "woulden't it"
Say woulden't it slow.
ok last one for today...
Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, i know everyone there is to know. Just name someone...anyone...and i know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss calls his bluff. "OK Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"
"no probs boss, Tom and i are oooold friends, and i can prove it."
So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruises door, and Tom shouts "Dave, whats up? Great to see you! Come in for a quick beer!"
Although impressed, Dave's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Tom's house he tells Dave he thinks him knowing Tom Cruise was just lucky.
"No no...just name anyone else" Dave says.
"President Obama," his boss quickly retorts.
"yep", says dave "old buddies. lets fly over to Washington", andoff they go.
At the white house, Obama spots Dave and motions him and his boss over.
"Dave! What a surprise! i was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and lets have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is a bit shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the white house he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope", his boss replies.
"Sure. i've known the pope since i was an alter-boy." So off they fly to Rome.
Dave and his boss are assembled among the masses at the Vatican's St. Peter's Square when Dave says, "this will never work. I cant catch the popes eye among all these people. Tell you what, i know all the guards, so just let me pop upstairs and i'll come out on the balcony with Him", and off he goes into the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges on the balcony with the Pontiff, but by the time he returns he finds that his boss has had a heart attack , and is surrounded by paramedics.
Making his way to his boss's side, Dave asks him "what happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "It was the final straw! You and the Pope came out on the balcony, and the man next to me said 'who the f#@k is that with Dave?'"
sorry....last one for real.
"almost all quotations sourced from the internet are made up." - Charles Darwin
