@spendius,
That one almost makes it, spendius.
@Lustig Andrei,
Two silk worms had a race. It resulted in a tie.
@Lustig Andrei,
The snails I knew became my es-cargo-t.
@cicerone imposter,
What do you call Father Christmas's helpers?
Subordinate clauses.
My friend never wanted to believe his dad was stealing from his job as a road worker, but when he got home, all the signs were there...
@Region Philbis,
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
@Region Philbis,
That belongs in the Geek and Nerd humour thread, RP.
@spendius,
Good one, Spendi. I'll remember that.
@Lustig Andrei,
i decided the punnishment overrode the geekiness...
@Region Philbis,
Using a determined looking American business man rather than a Mae West type image spreadeagled on a low sofa was your misogynistic geekiness RP.
The Afghan Quarterback
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you, the old Muslim woman says. “You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,
"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
Paraphrased from Rich Hall on QI (old ep)
My aunt was struck by lightning on a golf course. It got her between the first and second holes. Must have been something wrong with her stance.
