185
   

Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

 
 
tsarstepan
 
  2  
Reply Fri 16 Nov, 2012 01:14 pm
@roger,
roger wrote:

Probably a brand of flour, not that I would know.

You're right Roger. For the joke to make any sense. Flour is the word play pun in lieu of flower.
http://i48.tinypic.com/2rrkj7l.jpg
Lustig Andrei
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Nov, 2012 02:18 pm
@roger,
Oh. OK.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Nov, 2012 02:29 pm
@Ragman,
Oh. Well, that doesn't really play into "What's her favorite flower" question, then.
Lustig Andrei
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Nov, 2012 02:51 pm
@roger,
Now if he'd said Pillsbury I would have got it.
roger
 
  2  
Reply Fri 16 Nov, 2012 03:00 pm
@Lustig Andrei,
My first thought there was "Doughboy!?". Conditioned reflex, I suppose.
0 Replies
 
spikepipsqueak
 
  2  
Reply Fri 16 Nov, 2012 08:42 pm
@roger,
Remember you're reading the joke but the man is hearing the word.
0 Replies
 
mags314772
 
  2  
Reply Fri 16 Nov, 2012 09:27 pm
@tsarstepan,
holy crap...I had no idea that the joke would generate such confusion! It's the flower (flour) pun that got everybody befuddled. And the fact that Homepride is not the best known flour. Oh well, I thought it was funny.
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Nov, 2012 09:30 pm
@mags314772,
Oddly enough after the research... the befuddlement was cleared up for me. I was slow on the punny uptake meself. It was after all ... quite funny. Smile
Lustig Andrei
 
  2  
Reply Fri 16 Nov, 2012 09:33 pm
@tsarstepan,
Agreed. I think it's a very good bad joke. I'd just never heard of Homepride. And my befuddled mind kept conflating it with Homeslice, the unfortunate hamster on this forum who gets sacrificed from time to time.
roger
 
  3  
Reply Fri 16 Nov, 2012 09:40 pm
@Lustig Andrei,
We could found a new religion based on the multiple ressurections of Homeslice. I wonder what his message was - blessed be his name.
Lustig Andrei
 
  2  
Reply Fri 16 Nov, 2012 09:42 pm
@roger,
I'm going to make a poster. WWHSD?

How's'at?
roger
 
  2  
Reply Fri 16 Nov, 2012 09:53 pm
@Lustig Andrei,
Get with Boomerang. I think TCOICBINB would use a martyr about now.
Lustig Andrei
 
  3  
Reply Fri 16 Nov, 2012 10:05 pm
@roger,
I saw someone wearing a T-shirt the other day which actually said WTFWJD
0 Replies
 
Advocate
 
  4  
Reply Sat 17 Nov, 2012 08:39 pm
The Psychiatrist & The Proctologist.

Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided
that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together
to share office space and personnel.

Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist.

They put up a sign reading:

"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors". The town council was
livid and insisted they change it.


So, the docs changed it to read:
"Schizoids and Hemorrhoids".This was also not acceptable, so they again
changed the sign.


"Catatonics and High Colonics" - No go.

Next, they tried:
"Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives" - thumbs down again.

Then came "Minds and Behinds" - still no good.


Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes" - unacceptable
again!


So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts" - not a chance.


"Nuts and Butts" - no way.


"Freaks and Cheeks" - still no good.


"Loons and Moons" - forget it.


Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:

"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends".

Everyone loved it.
Lustig Andrei
 
  1  
Reply Sat 17 Nov, 2012 09:04 pm
@Advocate,
It's old but still good.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Nov, 2012 09:05 am
http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmacguUPU91qznpi1o1_400.jpg
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  -3  
Reply Sun 18 Nov, 2012 09:27 am
@Lustig Andrei,
Quote:
It's old but still good.


What's good about scatology?
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Nov, 2012 01:10 pm
Awright. It's an oldie, but it still is a really bad joke.


The Talking Centipede




A single guy decided life would be more fun


if he had a pet.





So he went to the pet store


and told the owner


that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.





After some discussion,


he finally bought a talking centipede,


which came in a little white box


to use for his house.





He took the box back home,


found a good spot for the box,


and decided he would start off


by taking his new pet


to church with him.




So he asked the centipede in the box,


"Would you like to go


to church with me today?


We will have a good time."



But there was no answer


from his new pet.





This bothered him a bit,


but he waited a few minutes


and then asked again,


"How about going

to church with me

and receive

blessings?"





But again,


there was no answer


from his new friend and pet.


So he waited


a few minutes more,


thinking about the situation.





The guy decided


to invite the centipede


one last time.




This time he


put his face up against


the centipede's house and shouted,
"Hey, in there!


Would you like to go

to church with me

and learn about God?"
.....


This time,
a little voice
came out of the box,



"I heard you the first time!

I ' m putting my shoes on!"
Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Nov, 2012 02:24 pm
@edgarblythe,

the double-spacing


makes that


a


particularly bad joke...




well played, edgar!
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Sun 18 Nov, 2012 02:28 pm
@Region Philbis,
Drunk
0 Replies
 
 

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