Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

@DrewDad,

Quote:

1/3 + 1/3 + 1/3 = .9999999 (etc.) = 1

Oh yeah??

If the bus fare is a buck and you try to pay .99, you end up in the gutter.

If you owe your bookie a grand and you try to pay $999.00, maybe your left knee will cough up the missing four quarters.

Fat Chance.

Joe(The kids are right, but they know from the street.)Nation

1 Reply

@Joe Nation,

$0.99 and $999.00 are not infinitely repeating numbers.

Drew(I was told there would be no math)dad

0 Replies

@Enzo,

Very good mind teezer. Math students are regularly upset by this question. Math professors are vague on the subject, and generally skim over it, which is what my calc professor did.

This aks us to question approximately "there" is where?

To expand on what Drewdad said, 1 is not equal to 2 because 1.5 is between them. There is no number you can put between .9999... and 1 because .9999... never ends.

From Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Today%27s_featured_article/October_25,_2006

Quote:

The equality of 0.999... and 1 is closely related to the absence of nonzero infinitesimals in the real number system, the most commonly used system in mathematical analysis. Some alternative number systems, such as the hyperreals, do contain nonzero infinitesimals. In most such number systems, the standard interpretation of the expression 0.999... makes it equal to 1, but in some of these number systems, the symbol "0.999..." admits other interpretations that contain infinitely many 9s while falling infinitesimally short of 1.

1 Reply

@aspvenom,

Quote:

There is no number you can put between .9999... and 1 because .9999... never ends.

But but but, Drewdad says it becomes 1, no, he say it is 1.

~Note: I am NOT serious about this discussion. I accept that .99999999999 is close enough for government work to 1 to be okay-dokay-aritchokey.

~
Kid: I got a prize at school.
Dad: Great. How?
Kid: Teacher asked how many legs an ostrich has and I said 'three"
Dad: But an ostrich has two legs.
Kid: Yeah, she told us that after everybody else guessed 'Four'.

Joe(They asked me if I was one, I said I was .9999999. They said "Close enough.")Nation

0 Replies

What we all can agree on is 0.999...(infinity) = 1 on an the conditions set up in axiom of choice, and the joke itself is really bad.

This joke was actually told to me by an acquaintance, to teasingly equate kids with "true" mathematician. Mainly this is to show that "hardcore" mathematicians, supposedly, are never likely to get anywhere productive because they are controversial about everything, including the premises in the Axiom of Choice.

Here is a classic joke against engineers which is more straightforward to see:

Quote:

When considering the behavior of a howitzer:
A mathematician will be able to calculate where the shell will land.
A physicist will be able to explain how the shell gets there.
An engineer will stand there and try to catch it.

Nevertheless, these flame wars between chemists, mathematicians, physicists, computer programmer, and statisticians gets old really fast.

0 Replies

How the devil did this discussion end up in the Really Bad Jokes thread???

Lustig (mymindjustcantstopinquiring) Andrei

1 Reply

@Lustig Andrei,

Lustig Andrei wrote:

How the devil did this discussion end up in the Really Bad Jokes thread???

You just haven't gotten to the punch line, yet.

1 Reply

@DrewDad,

tap tap tap

1 Reply

@roger,

OK. An ion goes into a bar and asks the bartender: "How much for a scotch and soda?" Bartender says, "For you, there's an extra charge."

<bada-bing CLANG!>

Come back tomorrow. We're here all week, folks. Have some drinks. The more you drink, the better we sound.

0 Replies

The Spanish peeping tom - Señor Boobs

1 Reply

@hingehead,

This guy is interviewing a young lady for a job.

"Can you do fractions?" he says.

She replies "only half the time".

1 Reply

@spendius,

veddy good, spendi; hardly a "bad" joke

0 Replies

http://sphotos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/543344_4467156078617_1889739930_n.jpg

1 Reply

@hingehead,

That's not a joke. That's a Funny Picture!

Joe(focus, people, focus)Nation

0 Replies

I placing this alleged real life quote here because I don't believe an actual customer said it and that its just a terrible marketing pun:

Quote:

13. An unfortunate mix-up

(Phone conversation)

Bookseller: "Hello?"

Customer: "Are you okay?... I heard that something terrible had happened."

Bookseller: "As far as I'm aware, we're all fine."

Customer: "I got home from work to find a note from my daughter saying that there'd been a series of unfortunate events in the bookstore, and that I should call you about it."

Bookseller: "Oh! No. You ordered Lemony Snicket's 'A Series of Unfortunate Events.' You can come and pick it up whenever you're free."

Customer: "...Oh! Well, thank goodness for that." (from Pam Price, Book Shop of Beverly Farms, Beverly Farms, MA)

http://www.csmonitor.com/Books/2012/1008/15-strange-comments-from-Weird-Things-Customers-Say-in-Bookstores/An-unfortunate-mix-up

0 Replies

People are citing all kinds of polls in this election season, but we should be aware that five out of every four people do not really understand statistics.

1 Reply

@wandeljw,

Actually, it's been shown that 83 % of all statistics are just made up on the spot.

1 Reply

@Lustig Andrei,

Lustig Andrei wrote:

Actually, it's been shown that 83 % of all statistics are just made up on the spot.

Correction: That's 86%.

1 Reply

@edgarblythe,

edgarblythe wrote:

Lustig Andrei wrote:

Actually, it's been shown that 83 % of all statistics are just made up on the spot.

Correction: That's 86%.

Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

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