Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

"I know this defies the law of gravity, but I've never studied law." - Bugs Bunny

Who was it -- Setanta, I think -- who had the sig line

Gravity -- it's not just a good idea; it's the law!

False Advertising.

Every morning on his way to work, Fred passed a shop with various clocks and watches on display in the front window.

When his grandfather clock stopped working, he took it into the shop to be repaired.

The owner looked at Fred strangely and said, "Sorry mate, but I don't repair clocks".

"Um, what do you do?"

"I do circumcisions", the owner said.

"But why have you got clocks and watches in the window?" asked Fred.

"Considering my line of work," said the proprietor, "what do you suggest I should put in the window?"

Senior Citizens?
3 women, 2 younger & 1 Senior Citizen were sitting in a sauna naked suddenly there was a beeping sound, the young woman pressed her forearm & the beep stopped.
The others looked at her questioningly. That was my pager she said I have a microchip under the skin of my forearm.
A few minutes later a phone rang. The 2nd woman lifted her palm to her ear when she finished she explained "hat was my mobile phone I have a microchipin my hand.
The older women felt very low-tech Not to be outdone she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna & went to the bathroom she returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end. The others raised their eyebrows and stare at her. The older woman finally said "Well will you look at that... I'm getting a fax

So, this physician gets a new job at a hospital and he wants to find some place nearby to have a drink after his shift.
He goes into the bar across the street and asks "Can you make me a daiquiri?"
"Sure," the bartender replies.
"Just one thing" says the physician, " I'm pretty fussy. It's got to have a walnut in it."
"I can do that." says the bartender.
"If you can do that, says the doctor,"You'll have a new customer. I'll be in here every day at three for my daiquiri."

Next day, sure enough, in come the physician, the daiquiri with the walnut in it is waiting. He drinks it down.
"Ah," he says, "That's good. See you tomorrow."
Next day, same thing.
This goes on for months, nearly a year.
Three o'clock, walnut in the daiquiri, physician comes in and drinks it down.

But one day at about five minutes to three, the bartender looks and ~~~no walnuts~~ What to do?
Quickly, he mixes up the drink and he takes a hickory nut. drops it in, puts it on the bar and he waits.
The physician comes in. Picks up his drink and takes a big sip.

"Wait a minute," He says," There's something different. You've changed this drink."



"Just a little." say the bartender, " You see~~~~




~~ THAT'S A HICKORY DAIQUIRI, DOC."

THUD!

I wholeheartedly concur Roberta.

That's not just a bad joke, Joe. That's atrocious.

Kudos. Good goin', kid.

I've been telling that joke since I was nine years old.

Joe(it's a favorite, not as good as the Gambler, the Banker and the Dwarf, but hey...>)Nation

Three more?

Please. Don't hold back, Joe. I love a good thud.

There's the old chestnut about a guy named Theodore Twiddle who went to the seminary to study theology with a view to becoming a respected minister. However, he quit before he could be ordained bcause he just couldn't stand the notion of being known as





T.Twiddle, D.D.

Joe, you can't tantalise us with the promise of a howler and not deliver.

Be Careful

This morning, the Muslim Brotherhood warned the United States that if the United States continued meddling in Egypt , Libya , Syria , Afghanistan and other hot spots in the Middle East, they intend to cut off America's supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers.

If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell, AT&T, and AOL customer service reps.

Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened not to send us any more presidents, either.

It's gonna get ugly, people.