@hingehead,
we don't have many parrots either.
maybe you should make it a possum joke. why would parrots eat tylenol?
@edgarblythe,
Quote:Without missing a beat he says , 'Worked for your ass , didn't it?'
And those were the last words he ever said.
@hingehead,
Liquid form tylenol? I've never seen that. Tell me more - no kidding, this isn't in my local drug store.
Me, I avoid all of it.
I shouldn't brag since if I do I'll be hit with some serious pain stuff. Let's say up until now I don't partake.
Sorry, forgot this is a funny thread.
@hingehead,
hingehead wrote:
Why can't you get a Panadol in the jungle?
The parrots ate 'em all.
Definitely has to be said out loud.
In the interests of cultural inclusivity I looked to see how universal Panadol is - according to wikipedia it's the most popular paracetamol brand - but in the US paracetamol is sold in liquid form with the most popular brand being Tylenol. Sigh.
Not to worry, I laughed. Also, was educated about the contents of this Tylenol, of which we hear Americans speak.
@spikepipsqueak,
spikepipsqueak wrote:
Also, was educated about the contents of this Tylenol, of which we hear Americans speak.
The parrot's ate 'em all, too!
(but they call 'em acetominophen there 
)
Tails is walking through the forest. knuckles runs up
knuckles: "Hey tail guess what!"
tails: what?
knuckles: why does sonic like chili dogs so much?
tails: i don't know knuckles, thrill me.
knuckles: because it gives him the runs!
HAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha.......ha........
.....im so alone.....
A woman goes to the optometrist for a check-up. Her eyesight seems a little weak lately. The doctor has her read the chart, and she doesn’t do too well. So he tells her that he needs to try an unorthodox test. "Please bear with me." He asks her to expose her breast. She obliges. “Can you see the hole in the end of the nipple?” he asks. “No,” was the answer. "Hmm. Let’s see." He then exposes his penis and asks her, “Can you see the hole in the end of this?” “Yes,” she replies.“ "Just as I thought,” exclaimed the doctor. “ You’re cockeyed!”
@Rockhead,
NOTE: (This joke is actually funny when a doctor tells it. Otherwise, it is really bad)
Q: How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends. What kind of insurance do you have?
POSTAL NOTE: (Okay, it is really bad even when a doctor tells it)
There are not jokes..but very bad/good puns:
Investment tips for 2012
For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in 2012:
1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co... will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros. and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.
3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!
And finally....
9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang
Yesterday in Riverside, a man was filling his gas tank while smoking a cigarette. As you would expect, his shirt sleeve caught on fire, the man began to panic and began waving his fire engulfed arm around. At about the same time, a deputy sheriff pulled into the parking lot. He drew his pistol and fired, killing the man. When asked why, the deputy sheriff answered "He was waving a fire arm!"
A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch" he said. "How much will you charge me?"
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"
"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded.
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes."
A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money..
"You're finished already??" the startled husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.
"Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus
@edgarblythe,
That one is pretty much my all time favorite joke.
@roger,
One of the best I have read, of late.
@GracieGirl,
Very cute! You should post on this thread more often. Mame would love that.
@GracieGirl,
I think I first saw that pun in a Mad magazine in the 70s, dictionary definitions 'Cantaloupe: what a father says to his daughter after he's paid up front for the reception'
Funny how the visual nature of the web opens new facets to old ideas.
