What do you call a pumpkin that tells bad jokes?
A pun-kin.
@Kara,
Key is to keep a straight face. Make it short and not too many details. If they struggle with the details they lose the logic.
God has just about sorted creation out but calls Adam and Eve to a meeting for the final touches.
'OK you two, I have just two last traits to hand out. Who wants to be able to pee standing up?'
'Ooh, ooh, God, pick me, pick me!' says Adam.
'Right, it's yours,' says God.
'Well Eve, it looks like you're stuck with multiple orgasms.'
@hingehead,
That was not a bad joke..
@Phoenix32890,
This has been cut-and-pasted all over the 'Net.
Exact words, exact format.
I very seriously doubt any of those quoted said any of the things attributed
to them.
@Phoenix32890,
> This thread is supposed to be about "bad jokes". I don't think, in these
> cases, that attributions are necessary!
Neither do I.
And yet, there they are.
> You have to admit that they ARE funny!
Some are, some aren't.
But they are "bad jokes".
@Phoenix32890,
Yes, Phoenix. The Honeymoon is over.
@DrewDad,
DrewDad wrote:
What do you call a pumpkin that tells bad jokes?
A pun-kin.
I feel a bit nauseous now....
A friend of mine is one of those guys who keeps sending out silly jokes.
His latest offering:
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday
evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler
he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked
through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man
stated, 'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll
write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll
pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and
said, 'There's no money in that account.'
'I know,' said the old man, 'but let me tell you about my GREAT WEEKEND!'
@George,
A neat trick, but it doesn't really work.
@JLNobody,
Yeah, I know a lot of neat tricks that don't really work.
@George,
I love that one, George. It's been around and I still chuckle when I read it.
There was a yellow toad who wanted nothing more than to be green like all the other frogs. Wandering sad and alone in the forest one day he happened upon a fairy godmother with a magic wand. She allowed him one wish. He said, 'I wish I were green.' She waved her wand and he became green - all except for his private bits. He asked her if she could make them green as well and she said, 'I don't do private bits - for that you have to go see the Wizard of Oz.
The frog hopped off in the direction of Oz and the Fairy Godmother was going on her way when she happened upon a purple grizzly bear. She told him she would grant him one wish and he said he wanted to be brown like all the other grizzly bears. She waved her wand and he was instantly brown - all except for his private bits.
He said, 'Not to be ungrateful, but can you make my private parts brown as well?'
And she said, 'No, I don't do private bits - for that you have to see the Wizard of Oz.
The bear said, 'I don't know where the Wizard of Oz is - to which the Fairy Godmother replied - 'Just follow the yellow prick'd toad!
@realjohnboy,
An ex-nun told a friend of mine that joke as he was taking her blood pressure. I think that's probably the funniest part of that joke.
