Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

MA...I liked it, too

A Square, A triangle and a Circle walk into a bar. After a few drinks, triangle starts a fight. Square tries to stop the violence and the Circle recorded it all.

This is an awful joke I know but at least its original.

I told Kara's joke to a friend who said that his wife would have squandered the twenty bucks, but on second thought he added "But it would have been worth it."

Did you hear that a brain surgeon has hypothosised that if you remove 5 % of an Englishmans brain he will become an irishman?
The surgeon wanted to check his hypothosis so he operated on an Englishman but the scalple slipped and he accidently removed 50 %.
When the man awoke his first words were....... G'day mate!

Dadpad, that is wicked...

Did you hear about the spotty Scottish teenager?

Och, nay.

Imur, that is...sputter, sputter....WONDERFUL

Did you hear about the scotsman who tried to borrow a book on suicide from the library?

The librarian said 'Fook off, you'll nae return it!'

SENSIBLE MONKEY
A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey.

He sits down at the bar to have a drink when the bartender screams,

"Did you see what your Monkey just did?"
"No, what?" asks the man

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...WHOLE!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy,

"He eats everything in sight, I'm sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."

The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the
monkey ate and leaves.

Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again and has his Monkey with
him. He orders a drink and the Monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is finishing his drink, the Monkey finds a bowl of
Maraschino Cherries on the bar.

He grabs one, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it. Then
the Monkey finds a peanut, again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted,

"Did you see what your Monkey did now?"

"No, what?" replied the man.

"Well, he stuck a cherry and a peanut up his arse, pulled them out
and ate them!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," the guy replied,

"He still eats everything in sight but ever since he had to ****
that cue ball, he measures everything first."

Yeah bloody Daylight Savings is always getting us into trouble like that.

The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the
entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle...

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in
particular 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.

She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, threw it out of the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place!'

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And
now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window.

Jane, that's a joke I've never heard before, not even a variation. Full marks!

Sheer brilliance that joke is!

"God, I have a problem."
"What's the problem, Eve?"

"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful Garden and all of these wonderful animals but I'm just not happy."
"And why is that Eve?"
"God, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"A man? What is that, Lord?"
"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie and cheat; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. He will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch, God?"
"Well ... you can have him on one condition."
"And what's that? "

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring ... so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first.

And it will have to be our little secret ...you know, woman to woman."

Ok, I literally just registered an account because I came across this page. I love corny/cheesy/bad jokes... it's just my kind of humor.

Didn't read the entire thread to see if this one was posted or not, but I'll give it a shot.

What happened to the guy whose pizza restaurant burned down?


















He lost a lot of dough!

Welcome, Paddle!

That joke is waaaay bad enough to qualify. You have found a home...

That one was bad, bad, bad...

Thanks, Kara!

There's also a follow-up:

What did the fireman say when he took a picture of the burning pizza restaurant?




CHEESE!!!!!!

I'm afraid you're going to beat us all at this game!

lol, I wouldn't say that but I have found some new material thanks to this thread!