I am a 30 year old virgin and it feels awesome

"Hi, I'm suka. I'm going to complain about being an old virgin, however don't give me any stupid advice, like "be confident," or "be fun around women," or "clean yourself." That advice is stupid. Somewhere, there's a woman who is intelligent, looks like a model, and likes banging boring, wussified guys like me. I'll just wait it out. In the meantime, your advice all sucks. And when I do get that girl, ya'll better watch out."

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Hey Slappy - YOU FOUND ONE!!!

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Found one? Slappy IS one.
Very Happy

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dagmaraka wrote:

Hi. My name is Dagmar and I am a woman.

Whew, I feel much better already!

And one hell of a fine one, too!

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Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

"Hi, I'm suka. I'm going to complain about being an old virgin, however don't give me any stupid advice, like "be confident," or "be fun around women," or "clean yourself." That advice is stupid. Somewhere, there's a woman who is intelligent, looks like a model, and likes banging boring, wussified guys like me. I'll just wait it out. In the meantime, your advice all sucks. And when I do get that girl, ya'll better watch out."

I scared because I find myself agreeing with slappy more and more lately. Amigo, you're great for being all sensitive and everything, and Frank, you're being a sweetheart too.

However, I'm gonna say it....suka needs a kick in the ass.

WTF did ya come on here and gripe about in the first place? Oh poor me, all women suck, we're just so mean. Crap, who'd want to talk to you in the first place.

I have the feeling when you say "I have acted like myself and gotten nowhere" you did that for about an hour once or twice. Or else you really do have the caustic personality you portray.

christ, it much be really nice flairing up a conversation with you.

Brother, I'm not even looking for anyone and I start up and keep conversations going with men who are complete strangers all the time. And you know what? They enjoy talking to me. Women too. Just open your mouth and say something. Lord, I'm an introvert and don't even particularly like the human race, so if I can do it you can.

For instance...I stopped at the supermarket this morning, and while standing in line, I said to the guy in front of me...

"Hey, I notice you're buying some of that Fat Free half and half. I just found out this weekend you can make some pretty good New England Clam Chowder with that."

Him: Really?

Me: yeah, I use it for rice pudding and alfredo sauce too.

Him: wow...I really like rice pudding. I just use this to mix with milk to put on my cereal.....(thinking for a few seconds)

Him (again): You know, I'd feel a lot better about eating this if it didn't have all those artificial ingrediants in it. Have you ever read the label?

Me: No! What's in it?!!! All kinds of stabilzers I bet!!!!

Him: Yeah! And there's also corn syrup and (don't even know what he said here)!

Me: (shaking head) Wow, I didn't realize....well....I can see you try to eat healthy (looking at his other food).

Him: Oh yeah...I always watch what I eat. (he starts laughing) Man, when I see the **** other people buy...(shakes head too)....it's crazy.

Now how hard was that? I engaged him, showed interest, asked a couple of questions, made him realize I thought he had a brain in his head, made him laugh, got him to say ****....

Jesus, If I'd wanted to, I could've been making a pot of rice pudding for him right now.

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Chai, that's quite an interesting conversation. But check THIS out.

Today, I was at the grocery store, and an attractive, tall blond woman had her cart sitting in the middle of the aisle while she was looking over some items.

As I approached, she moved it and said "sorry about that."

I said, "that's ok" as I made my way by.

What do you guys think? Did she want to bang me?

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Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

....however don't give me any stupid advice, like "be confident," or "be fun around women," or "clean yourself." That advice is stupid.

Yes it is because you will turn into a "just friend" and I don't want any more just friends.

Don't you think I've heard this before? Don't you think I did this before? Don't you think I have applied an effort?

I can't help it if you think that I am a fat computer geek with no life and a hairy right hand. It's actually left one if you must know Very Happy

Seriously. I have a life, I go out, I approach, I act ("act" as in "actually do something", not as in "Romeo and Juliet" act). And yes the fault partially lies in women. It's always too forward, too slow, too nice, too mean, too dishonest, too straight upfront. I am sick of finding any logic behind all this bullshit. This is not a sciense, there is no "one size fits all" guaranteed formula. And I am just sick of it all.

I'll rent the 40yo virgin and see what they got.

Oh and yes, I want a "shallow meaningless sex" with a hot sexy attractive woman. If you feel, for the second time, that I am a bad person because of that, that's fine. I won't take offense, this is a message board, we don't know each other. The last thing I am intersted in is to measure up to people's ideals on some message board.

I don't want to do this "to score", to brag to my drinking buddies or to be cool. I want to do this because I am a man and I have sexual needs. It's "cute" when you are 19 and want to save your virginity for that one woman in your life. When you're 30 and have absolutely nothing to look back at, it's pathetic.

Everyone and their dog talks about being nice and attentive to women. Women are victims, women are weak defenseless creatures, women need a warrior in shinig armor. But who will actually talk about non-existant sex lives of men, how it destroys their self esteem, how it makes them feel less of a man. How some men simply want a nice encounter with a girl, to take off the stress of their busy business lives, with no tricks, game, drama and other wonderful stuff that comes along.

I am going to ask again, has anyone ever tried those swinger services and how was it.

I sincerely hope there is an answer.

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Well dude, I don't know what to tell you. All I know is if you simply want to break your cherry, go hit on drunk girls that aren't out of your league. Hit on girls you know don't get hit on usually by guys as good looking as you. You'll get laid. If you're holding out for a girl that's extremely attractive, whom you aren't up to par looks-wise for her, and can't make up for it with your "game," then you'll be a virgin for a long time.

Sounds like you don't know how to change your gameplan on the fly as things are in motion. Things are going too fast...too slow...too whatever. Read people and adjust accordingly. It's all on you...not the women.

No clue about swinger services. Obviously if you can get into a swinger party I'd think you'd get laid. The key is finding them. Craigslist? Try the adult personals...can't vouch for those either, and I know you'll get a lot of spam from whores and porn sites, but it's worth a shot.

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Oh, and believe me: there is a logic behind it.

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Have sex with them before they find out they don't like you. Sometimes you can see they are finding out they don't like you while you are on top of them them. At that point speed it up a bit.

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Amigo wrote:

Have sex with them before they find out they don't like you. Sometimes you can see they are finding out they don't like you while you are on top of them them. At that point speed it up a bit.

ooooo.....that's so true!

when they start to speed up, at least I'll know it'll be over soon and they'll go home.

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Amigo wrote:

Have sex with them before they find out they don't like you. Sometimes you can see they are finding out they don't like you while you are on top of them them. At that point speed it up a bit.

Then right before you leave take a $hit in their toilet but don't flush just say "later babe. see you in the funny papers."

Then when she's thinking to herself "God, at least it's over" on the way to the bathroom, BAM! Your big stinky turd is looking her in the face and your burning rubber in the drive way. Laughing

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I dunno. Your distaste for women really shows.

I'm not against "shallow meaningless sex". I'm instinctively against people with a distaste for whole genders, one of which includes me.

This all seems like a red herring to me. So, one of these days you'll get laid. So what?

Are you going to be hostile to women for your enitre life? Real relationships with other humans are good, and I don't pick up that you have a clue about that. Pardon me if I have read your posts incorrectly, but it doesn't seem so. You might consider some counselling to talk about all this. Just one bang is not going to make you suddenly a happy boy. I can only guess you have some good reasons for all your hostility, but I'm not the one to help you see people with a wider view.

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Suka, ossobuco is right. A2K is no substitute for needed counseling, and really everybody can use counseling. Go see a counselor and use A2K as a tool.

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and PLEASE

not THAT kinda tool..

[size=7]only amigo can do that[/size]

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So you've heard "just friends" many times.

Are you actually friends with any of these women - as in, could you be honest with them about your situation and get real feedback from someone of the opposite sex who likes you and knows you?

If the answer to that is "no" then you're not even making friends, are you?

You aren't alone but you certainly will remain feeling alone if you don't change something. All the sympathy and advice any of us can offer is only as good as what you do with it.

What about my suggestion - what are your strong points? Come on, if you can't think of any, go see your doctor about clinical depression. Seriously!

KP

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Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

Well dude, I don't know what to tell you. All I know is if you simply want to break your cherry, go hit on drunk girls that aren't out of your league. Hit on girls you know don't get hit on usually by guys as good looking as you. You'll get laid. If you're holding out for a girl that's extremely attractive, whom you aren't up to par looks-wise for her, and can't make up for it with your "game," then you'll be a virgin for a long time.

Sounds like you don't know how to change your gameplan on the fly as things are in motion. Things are going too fast...too slow...too whatever. Read people and adjust accordingly. It's all on you...not the women.

No clue about swinger services. Obviously if you can get into a swinger party I'd think you'd get laid. The key is finding them. Craigslist? Try the adult personals...can't vouch for those either, and I know you'll get a lot of spam from whores and porn sites, but it's worth a shot.

Bingo, excellent advice, Slappy.

Of course no one size fits all. Men are different from each other, aren't they? Then why can't women be different from each other? As for the whole,

suka75038 wrote:

Everyone and their dog talks about being nice and attentive to women. Women are victims, women are weak defenseless creatures, women need a warrior in shinig armor. But who will actually talk about non-existant sex lives of men, how it destroys their self esteem, how it makes them feel less of a man. How some men simply want a nice encounter with a girl, to take off the stress of their busy business lives, with no tricks, game, drama and other wonderful stuff that comes along.

speech, puleeze! I am not a victim. I am not weak. I am not a defenseless creature. I do not need a warrior in shining armor. And if you approached me and treated me that way, I would blow you off no matter what you looked like. Yes, some women need this treatment. But a lot don't. Like I said before, heck you even said it before -- one size does not fit all.

As for the "nonexistent sex lives of men", c'mon. You want to break your cherry? Head to a bar, hook up with a prostitute, go pick up someone at a party who's drunk, if that really, really matters to you. Get it over with and take the mystique out of it, if it bothers you that much. You are already talking about swinging so don't act all shocked at my suggestions. But, like Slappy said, don't get too incredibly picky in this department. If you just want to get things over with, get 'em over with and don't expect your tanned Malibu Barbie fantasy to be a part of the package.

PS I don't engage in games, drama, etc., all of the things that you claim you don't like, but you'd blow me off in an instant because I don't fit your physical ideal. Hell, most women probably don't fit your physical ideal. Deal with that, that you're being too picky, too negative, too hypercritical and acting as the pot calling the kettle black. Want to not have games? Then don't play any yourself, like you'll just go around and act like a lump and be all bitter and nasty and overly judgmental and expect anyone to fall for that. They haven't and they won't. The fault, dear, suka75038, lies not in your stars, but in yourself. I agree with the folks, male and female, who've suggested counseling. You need it. You need to understand why you're setting yourself up for failure and blaming everyone else for your situation instead of taking some personal responsibility and owning up to the fact that it might just not be the world that's tilting off its axis.

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jespah - you, and others have really hit the nail on the head...

that knight in shining armour stuff....gag.

what suka is so clearly missing is that, unbelieveably, women are actual human beings.

The verbatim conversation I had with a guy at the market? You notice of course suka totally ignored that...it would be too much work for him to actually talk to another human being, male or female.

I guess he thinks that within 10 seconds of saying something, she's got to be saying to him..."let's go f*ck"

like kitchen pete said...what's wrong with making more friends.

I've been out of action for a few years now, but it seems to me there is this new trend out there.

It's called the "I waited too long and now we're just friends" First off, I wasn't aware there was this sensitive time frame where one must "make his move". Also, hey suka, have you ever heard of networking...the woman you're talking to knows other people too.

Suka...I'm curious...what WAS to difficult to understand about the conversation I got started with a complete stranger? Sure, after my second comment he could have indicated he didn't feel like talking....so what? (shrug) sometimes people want to talk, sometimes they don't. I'm pretty sure, maybe 99% that any guy I ever went out with didn't start out as some "pick up" You don't have to ask someone out on the first sighting you know...

You talk to someone, you see them around, talk again, and again....it's just life.

You just a misogynist and/or jerking us around.

Jesus Christ, you've got the perfect arena here to talk to any number of people, not to pick up, but just to learn the art of conversation, and you just fritter the opportunity away by being such a douche bag.

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Alright, who up to drill Suka a new a$shole.

NEXT!!!

Single file people, single file.

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suka75038 wrote:

Everyone and their dog talks about being nice and attentive to women. Women are victims, women are weak defenseless creatures, women need a warrior in shinig armor. But who will actually talk about non-existant sex lives of men, how it destroys their self esteem, how it makes them feel less of a man. How some men simply want a nice encounter with a girl, to take off the stress of their busy business lives, with no tricks, game, drama and other wonderful stuff that comes along.
.

If ever I needed a barf smilie, it's now.

If that's you attitude about women, it's no wonder you haven't scored! Welcome to the 21st centruy suka...women aren't defensless, weak or waiting for a knight.

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I am a 30 year old virgin and it feels awesome

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