I am a 30 year old virgin and it feels awesome

(read you post paaskynen)

Well girls it looks like i'm all alone. Well have to settle this the old fashioned why.

BIKINI OIL WRESTLING! I have to take you all on at once..... for mankind.

<snork> I'm still laughing from the last page, starting with Amigo's "Talks have broken down-- this is war!!"

Anyway, though, I really don't think that it's fair to say that those who've supposedly been too tough on suka can't sympathize. Some of the guys seem to be indicating that the women who've posted just don't quite get it: we don't realize just how cruel women can be to a poor young lad. I pick up on this undercurrent of "We guys know how it is when you do all the right things and yet, unaccountably, they still won't sleep with you."

I was a virgin until I was, hmm, 20 or 21, can't remember which for sure. That seemed reeeeally old compared to my friends; as a matter of fact I was too embarrassed to let any of them know it, and always tried to steer conversations away from anything that might lead to a revelation of my tragic condition. So guess what, girls get rejected by mean, mean, men too. I was rejected enough to feel pretty bad (I can only assume it was due to my lack of tan and my imperfect breasts! ) so I can understand that too...It's just that I never, ever thought of blaming men for it. I never got bitter and angry and acted like the world owed me a lay. I actually understood that the boys I liked didn't have to like me back and it wasn't their fault! Gads!!!

Suka wants to think that he's done all of the right things and still those cold-hearted women won't f*ck him. He doesn't want anymore of that useless "be confident! be yourself!" advice. He wants a big fat pity party, and the guys here kinda grok what he means about how women can be so cruel so they join in. It is not being mean to suka to let him see that when Suka is hard and abrasive, he gets hard and abrasive back. The women here are just so damn mean, they know that the pity party is useless.

The truth is, you guys can offer him all the sympathy in the world, but the only thing that is going to help is when he gets over feeling bitter and sorry for himself and learns the stupid "be confident! be yourself!" crap really is the only way he's gettin anywhere. That and patience.

I'm not sympathetic. He's a wussy.

It's one thing to be a wussy who's open to advice from people who have actually taken a woman from A-Z vs. a wussy who can't get laid and won't listen.

If you notice, he never really responded to me either. I asked him specific questions in a friendly constructive way and he didn't really respond to me. He preferred to talk $hit back and forth with you guys. I never got any answers or real engagment and I think I did pretty good.

After reading Bella and cyphers post I understand more. I've spent enough time on this. I'm starting to feel like Stuart Smalley. I was just trying to approach it the best way possible and give Suka a new opportunity by going a little deeper then the "same old same old" he was getting.

Suka's abbraiveness could well be a way to avoid ever getting laid, because the idea scares him deep down, because he is still a virging he makes a mountain out of a molehill (something men tend to do anyway when it comes to sex and bodily measurements), that is why I suggested he break out of it and get real.

Am not going to participate in a wat of the sexes.

Paaskymen, my gut feeling is along the lines you speak of: Suka most likely is making a mountain of a molehill in his mind. Most likely Scared Shitless to actually get close to women.
His words are like assault weapons. Effective for keeping women at bay - never having to actually face the fear.

I don't know what Suka's entire deal is. Maybe life in general is tough for him right now. Maybe he suffers low self-esteem, anxiety, depression - who knows. That is what therapy and such is for: if he wants to do something about it.

My original suggestion to 'just go get laid, you don't need to love her' is honestly what I think he needs to do.
It is easy if he really wanted to do it.

You can't expect a lover to be a therapist. And, with his current attitude, what does he want? A hero? A mother? That's what he'll get if someone puts up with this crap to 'give him love and sex'.
Sex is not a way to get love, and he shouldn't expect it.

He needs to sort himself out before he'll find a loving relationship that includes sex. So I feel no pity for him there.

Burst the bubble, try something, see it is 'no big deal'. F8ck.

I've met men like Suka before. A lot of them get it into their head that 'life will somehow be better if i get laid'. That they aren't 'men' until they screw.
One time in bed, and disillusion falls on them like a black cloud. It clicks "hey, my life hasn't changed that much, except i am having sex now. So what?"

Just do it. Sex isn't going to fix you or your life, or give you love. You need to do that yourself. Be your own mother and father.

I think Paaskynen might be right.

This is a good page, lots of good insights in here (inc. the, er, wrestling post).

Seriously, it's a reflective thing. If you're nasty and overly picky so that you blow off perfectly acceptable people for some unattainable ideal, you're going to get the same in return. And that's in all relations with humans, not just attempts to get laid.

In my years I have had sex with many women. He can have one of mine.