Dys I am so glad that you shared this. That you felt comfortable enough to share this. I hope if anything at least talking about it has helped to release some of the feelings that were tagged on to this issue for you. You are a good man, and I'm sure that you would have been a great father, and that you still would be. Take care.
Dys, I've just now found this thread. I've cried with you and for you. You're a very special man, as many here have already stated, and as such your daughter would be blessed to have you in her life. I hope the day will come when she will search you out and that whatever breadcrumbs you can lay will be found (perhaps the court has a place where you can leave a trail).
Hugs to you and Diane. I hope you someday find your daughter, or that she someday finds you.
I had a grandfather I never knew.
My grandmother was married, got pregnant with my mother, her husband left her and she gave birth and agreed to let her mother - my great grandmother - raise the child (there was shame attached to the husband leaving and my grandmother didn't want her daughter to be blemished by it).
Growing up, I had no clue on all of this. My mother kept it a secret (it still amazes me why). The truth came out one day when my mother was writing a Mothers Day card to my aunt and I asked her about it. She told me the bare bones of the story and obviously didn't want to discuss it.
Since I loved my aunt/grandmother and her husband (new husband she married later) I was happy to consider them my grandparents.
I've always wondered about my real grandfather though. I never broached the subject with my mother because she once told us (her kids) that she would never look for him and she held a grudge. Since we love her very much we wouldn't interfere with those wishes but I was disappointed that she couldn't get past the bad feelings when she herself really didn't know the full story. My grandmother was not a bad person by any means but I still think there are two sides to a story and my grandmothers and mothers views are not the entire thing.
Sometimes it's better to let sleeping dogs lie in order not to hurt the ones you are closest to.
Sometimes it's good to have all sides of a story. We are such emotional and excitable people that we can whip ourselves into a frenzy with our opinions, views and "I'm right" attitude that we just can't see the forest for the trees.
Whatever happens Dys, I wish you well. I wish your daughter well.
