Questions about Homosexuality

Oh, cool.

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Momma Angel wrote:

1. When they first realize this about themselves, what goes through their mind? Do they think it's ok? If so, why? If not, why? Do they think it's not ok because of others or because of what they feel or believe themselves?

Well, it was kind of a gradual process, you see, something you don't want to hear about. At first, I wasn't too ready to admit it to myself.

In retrospect, I think this had something to do with the general disgust my old schoolmates felt about homosexuality and its act. I say, in retrospect, because at the time, I just thought it was wrong and didn't even explore the concept of why did I think it was wrong.

Of course, the derogative term, wanker, also made me reluctant to masturbate because my logic was if its a derogorative term, someone who masturbates can't really be a good person.

It couldn't have been because of the Bible, because I never got round to reading those parts of it in my Bible studies.

So it had to be the reaction of the other classmates, that made me think it was wrong or at least made me initially think it was wrong. In the end, I just didn't care.

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2. For those that decide to follow their orientation (am I getting better at the terms?) what are their main concerns? Living their life as they believe it is or should be or conforming to society for reasons of their own?

Main concerns. My one main concern is to have a loving boyfriend, but that's only in relation to sexuality. In reality, my sexuality doesn't really top my list of main life concerns.

As far as I'm concerned, conforming to society is being yourself, contributing through taxes and through act of charity, and just trying to not rock the boat when it doesn't need any rocking.

My sexuality doesn't concern me too much. I just don't talk about it that much. Most of the time, I operate under the policy of, "if you don't ask, I won't tell."

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Wolfie,

I hope this isn't too personal and if it is, I completely understand.

Well, you asked nicely, at least I think you did. (I can't quite remember). So to answer your questions it the least I could do.

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Momma Angel wrote:

It is not really the differences that cause the problem, but the perception of the differences?

<snip>

So, is it that man (society, etc.) actually creates the discrimination the second someone decides that there is something wrong with someone else for being different?

I remember being in grade school and being teased because of my red hair and freckles. I can speak to some of that discrimination but I know it was nowhere near what homosexuals must have to face each and every single day....

This actually brought tears to my eyes!

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flushd wrote:

I'm looking forward to more about that red-headed thought experiment too. I need to catch up on this thread! It moved fast and is really interesting.

For anyone:
Have there been any vigorious, reliable studies linking left-handedness/ambi-handedness to gay/bisexual leanings?
Just curious. That would be interesting.

I got a double-whammy of 'sinister' qualities : the omni-loving and the lefthandedness. I'm wondering if this is common or not linked at all.

Chum, that's funny.

flushd, I haven't looked through the studies Wolf supplied, but I'd be surprised if there is a strong correlation between sexual preference and handedness. The numbers in the studies tend to be small and the low rate of left-handedness in the general population is confounded (that means can't be separated from) with age. Only in the last 30 years or so were children left alone with their left-handedness. Prior to that they were forced to use their right hands in school. This means that in order to find a real correlation between handedness and sexual preference you would be limited to studying individuals between the ages of 15 (or older for informed consent) and 30. It would be very hard to get a reliable study set.

I can tell you that I'm left handed and would rate myself a zero on the Kinsey scale so in our own two person study there is no correlation Very Happy

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For some it's genetic, for others it's any number of reasons. I know some really nice gay people...I know some really crappy gay people.

One thing that stands out in my area is that we have several {5 that I can think of} specific groups of lesbians that travel in packs. Usually when I run into them there are at least four women together...football, basketball games...out at a restaurant...etc...and I've seen as many as 10 all together at once.

Each group has a leader...an alpha wolf I suppose, and they add new, usually younger, members from time to time. Several of them seem to be perpetually injured in some way...a cast on an arm or leg..crutches, canes...it's always something. Which makes me wonder if they are predisposed to osteroperosis, or are they out jumping dirt bikes or quad runners....or they are just some really rough bitches.

I'll admit the third option does peak my curiosity, if your sexual rituals involve bone breakage, your either doing something very wrong...or doing something very right. I'd ask but, I'd have to make up an elaborate story about fighting some bikers to explain my obvious arse whoopin, that I'm sure would come about.

My outlook on {male} gayness can be summed up with this simple statement.

I love Elton John's music, but if I were locked in a room with him, I'd probably choke him to death in less than five minutes.

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Thanks Wolf and J_B.

I appreciate the links, Wolf. There are serious problems in actually studying this, that's why I was so specific "vigorious, reliable studies". You answered my basic query. Nobody knows really?

J_B, you made a good point. Even when I was a child, and I am under 30, I still had grandparents and the like trying to force me to use my right hand. So I can only imagine what it was like before my time. I would imagine there are many originally left-handed people out there who became right-handed.

I wonder if brain scans would show different brain activity based on handedness? That is sort of where I was going with that. Studies based on brain scans. shrug. Mainly curiousity, so no big deal. I appreciate the time taken to address my q!

Momma,
Yeaaa! Something definetly clicked for you. That deserves a happy dance. Smile

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Wolfie, J_B, flushd,

Wolfie, thanx so much for telling me that. I am so sorry you had any pain caused by anyone because of who you are. And, I am sorry that my mindset and attitude through life has been part of that. Maybe not to you directly, but it's been there.

I have looked at quite a bit throughout this thread and a couple of other things that have shown me some things about myself that I needed to see.

I didn't think I was hurting anyone by the way I felt about this issue. I was completely wrong about that. COMPLETELY WRONG! I cannot apologize enough for my actions.

I can; however, make sure that I don't repeat them. Thank everyone so much for going through this with me and helping me to discover these things.

I was a homophobic bigot. I WAS a homophobic bigot. I am not one now.

Sozobe, thank YOU especially for starting this thread and taking the time to go through this with me. You're a very special person.

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Hey, it was my pleasure. And happy to keep going with it if there are any remaining questions or if something occurs later on...

I'm afraid I'm one of those people who live for the lightbulb moment, and since I'm not a teacher right now I go and find those moments where I can...

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MA wrote:
Wolfie, J_B, flushd,

Wolfie, thanx so much for telling me that. I am so sorry you had any pain caused by anyone because of who you are. And, I am sorry that my mindset and attitude through life has been part of that. Maybe not to you directly, but it's been there.

I have looked at quite a bit throughout this thread and a couple of other things that have shown me some things about myself that I needed to see.

I didn't think I was hurting anyone by the way I felt about this issue. I was completely wrong about that. COMPLETELY WRONG! I cannot apologize enough for my actions.

I can; however, make sure that I don't repeat them. Thank everyone so much for going through this with me and helping me to discover these things.

I was a homophobic bigot. I WAS a homophobic bigot. I am not one now.

Sozobe, thank YOU especially for starting this thread and taking the time to go through this with me. You're a very special person.

_________________

Miracles do happen.
Soz deserves a medal (or something grand) for her patience.

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CI,

Well, don't ever tell me God does not work in mysterious ways because He just did. I have been thinking about you CI. I saw that you recently came back to A2K and I've been avoiding you pretty much. I had no desire to pick up where we left off.

But, I owe you an apology also. You were right in calling me a homophobic bigot. And do I ever hate having to admit that to you! But, it's the truth.

So, can we start fresh, CI? Can we forget the past and go on from here? Please forgive me for every offensive thing I ever said to you.

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MA, As I have said repeatedly, I have no tolerance for any racial or homophobic bigot.

I've been reading this thread in the background without any comment, but saw your sincerity in trying to understand and resolve the dilemma of respecting gays and lesbians vs your religious' beliefs is not an easy one.

Most of us do not change our thinking as we grow older, but you have accomplished what most other seniors are unable - to admit our mistake and ask for forgiveness.

We can certainly start "fresh." It'll be my pleasure.

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One down, 121,254,821 to go! :wink:

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mesquite, Shouldn't that be 298,486,888 more to go? LOL

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Welcome back c.i. What ever the number, it is slowly coming down.

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CI,

You are a gentleman. Hi, I'm Momma Angel and I'm glad to meet you.

Mesquite,

Now, I owe you an apology also. This has not been an easy thing for me to do. But, it is definitely something I have found very necessary. I can now see how my attitude and actions deeply offended and most likely hurt you, Mesquite. I wish I could go back and change it, but I can't. Please forgive me for being such a close-minded fool in regard to this issue and others. I hope that you can forgive me and we can go back to that bantering back and forth with a bit of humor and a good dose of reality (usually from you, that is)?

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Momma Angel wrote:

CI,

Well, don't ever tell me God does not work in mysterious ways because He just did.

If he does exist, then of course he works in mysterious ways. If he didn't, why would we be arguing over whether there is a God, what he's like and how he does things?

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But, I owe you an apology also. You were right in calling me a homophobic bigot.

Now, now. You never fit my definition of a homophobic bigot. Now Fred Phelps, that's a homophobic bigot, and you're nothing like him.

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Wolfie,

You are so sweet. Now, it's true I never carried signs or beat anyone up or called anyone names, etc. because they were homosexual, but my attitude did need some adjusting. I'm just glad I didn't hurt you with the attitude I had.

Oh, Betty and Sue wanted me to thank everyone, especially Sozobe, for helping me with this. They didn't think I was a bigot, but they are glad that I now have a much better understanding of this issue. But, they knew all of me and my life so they probably just didn't see it like I did.

They happen to think it's kind of funny really. When they came over this morning the first thing Sue said was, "So, is this house dark-sided?" They both broke out laughing so hard that I just was speechless. No more dark-sided for me!

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Momma Angel wrote:

Wolfie,

You are so sweet.

At the risk of accidentally hijacking this topic, allow me to say, "Why thank you. You're welcome."

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Now, it's true I never carried signs or beat anyone up or called anyone names, etc. because they were homosexual, but my attitude did need some adjusting. I'm just glad I didn't hurt you with the attitude I had.

Everyone needs an adjustment every now and then. It's no big deal.

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cicerone imposter wrote:

mesquite, Shouldn't that be 298,486,888 more to go? LOL

Hey, Trouble Maker.

How about a chorus of "Hail, Hail, the gang's all here!"

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Frank, You start, and we'll follow. Wink

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