How can i take my mind off a married woman

sorry to keep brining up this thread but just got some goss tonight that will make this a girl a bit easier to get over .

im about 8 beers down tonight so a bit tipsy so probably shouldnt be writing this up here now so hope it makes sense but this below info is great info for me to use to get over it allot easier .

i cought up with a long lost friend tonight i havnt seen in a VERY long time . Talked about the old days bla bla bla .

This blokes wife went to school with Miss X and were best friends up untill bout 6 years ago when they moved interstate .

Anyway , got talking bout how everyone is as he was asking bout different couples and i slipped a few lines to him bout Miss X and her hubby when he asked in the forms of " Yeah , their doing well , bit of a weird matchup between her and her husband as their still total opposites but im sure they get along well and plod allong "

Being friends from way back , this bloke confided me a massive skeleton in her closet . He mentioned that while Miss X was engaged , her husband ( my mate ) went overseas for work for 2 weeks , in that time , Miss X slept around with 2 guys from the 3rd day after he left to the day he got back .

With counceling ive had so far and the headfucks shes been creating in the forms of temptation and putting it out there , ive actually come to a conclusion that yeah , we get allong very well but this is all a game for her , shes a massive player and im a pawn . Is this good or bad in how im feeling .. well atm its good as things seem to be put into perspective of the type of girl im dealing with but its the lonely days on your own that bring out the full emotions of how you feel about something so well see how i feel about it in the next few days .

Ohh well , ill put it to the counceler on Friday and start thinking a bit straighter tomorrow after the head stops spinning a bit .

As you were people .

You're doing so great with this OTQ, I'm impressed.

This puts a different spin on it, for me. This makes it less about you're a couple of kindred souls who have the hots for each other or whatever -- and more about a general need on her part for male admiration. You'll do, in a pinch, but if it wasn't you, it'd be someone else.

It also makes your attraction more understandable and forgivable, I think -- if this hussy (sorry) is actively trolling for your attention, it means a lot less than if you just organically happened to notice her. If it was the latter, it could be more of a symptom of something wrong with your current relationship -- but if it's the former, it's just that you have eyes.

She's probably doing this to a few other people in her life, too -- people she works with, say.

I went on a vacation with a bunch of people my husband worked with once. Lots of professors + their families staying in a house in a picturesque setting. One family came complete with nanny. That nanny was on the make, and it pissed me off. Had several conversations with my hubby about it (not accusatory, he just noticed I was pissed at her and was curious about why) -- he was like, what, so she's young and pretty...? I explained to him that she was putting out all kinds of inappropriate signals -- I've been young and pretty myself and know when to rein things in, especially in a group of married men. It wasn't simple jealousy -- there were several other very beautiful (and smart) women there who didn't bother me in the least. This nanny was on the make. She was doing things purposefully.

Of course, a year or so later we learned that she'd run off with the father in the family she was nannying for.

I have no respect for that type, and it's sounding more and more like the object of your affection is that type.

I really think this can be the key that helps you put this all behind you.

Not to send out an inappropriate signal, but I'm pfretty sure you're still young and pretty, Soz :wink:

Good going, OTQ!

I still think you should bang her before the opportunity passes.

Well heaps of thinking has been done the last 5 weeks with this councelor .

They are incredible , she has NEVER once given me an answer to the questions i couldnt answer and by the end of the session i found the answer as she turned everything around and menipulated sentances to just make things make sense .

This counceling has been nothing about Miss X really , its all been a self awareness chapter about me .

I have learnt in the last month that my life revolves around people / attention and my main problem competition . This is where all my issues with miss X have stemmed from deep down , and the competition is the big problem .

I just have to finally lose on this one , well maybee not use that terminology but i have to give up and throw in the towel on this girl , if she sends text messages , ive got to just let it go and not even aknowledge them , if she comes up to me 1 on 1 when were out , ive just got to put my head down and tail between my legs and walk away ...

As i mentioned before in counceling , my competitive nature makes so much sense on miss x , im learning to discover and maybee have allready that this is all about the chase and kill than actually being in love with her , i think i just got cought up in the chase ( could have been anyone really ) and now with all the build up in my head its just blown into something its not . DUNNO

Anyway , woke up this morning and thought about what i was told last night bout her 2 toyboys ... shes a F u c k i n g scrag , shes a cock tease , shes as immature as her daughter , shes unstable and i dont know if i mewntioned it ... a sex whore .... gees , things are coming to light all of a sudden . 1 thing i am dissapointed in as well is that apart from the sleeping with others like she did , everything else im guilty of as well so does this make me the same person as her , am i all of the above ... ahh too much to think about atm , brains gone into overload .

Bloody hell , i hate losing but ive got to accept it ..... by the way , losing in the sense that she will now feel more of the player , but then again , who can hold their head up high ... its me for calling this move so maybee i am the winner ... ill try and drill that winner line into my head as well to make me feel better and less bitter towards her .

Mixed emotions atm , this post is all over the place and contradictive but its how i feel this morning .

Well you still decided to see the counselor and, by your account, are coming up with the revelations yourself, and on top of that you're willing to act on the revelations -- that's all credit to you!



There ya go. She was trying to "win" by getting you in bed, you're gonna be the one who's immune to her charms. Good on ya.

(And thanks, nimh. :-) I saw something about a clothing chain being marketed to "middle aged women -- 35 to 50" a couple of days after my 35th birthday and have been feeling, well, not-so-young since.)

(By the way a quick clarification re: the on-the-make nanny -- I don't think it's fair when women are told that they're sending signals when they happen to wear something low-cut, or if they yawn, or whatever. I think women can and should be "allowed" to be sensual without anything in particular being made of that. There is a whole other category of women who actively solicit the attention of anyone in their vicinity for certain reasons -- I mean, even just simple horniness would sit better with me than this certain kind of controlling, manipulative, blech kind of person.)

Anyway, impressed with your progress here onthequiet, thanks for keeping us updated.

Sleep with her while you have the chance! The fact is some women make way too big a deal about casual fun sex, and some women are fine with it. Quit over analyzing everything. Enjoy!

Popular North American sexual social values among consenting adults are simply and only that, and nothing more.

LOL , id kill my wife if she ever followed through on a crush , wot goes for her must also go for me .

Why?