MEN F**K..... WOMEN MAKE LOVE

I think that it is unrealistic to compare the responses of high school girls with that of mature women. Girls are still involved in intense peer pressure, and will often do things that they dislike to be "one of the gang".

I once read somewhere that men give love to get sex, while women give sex to get love. IMO that is because men and women are "wired" differently. A man is biologically impelled to "spread his seed", thereby maintaining his genetic line. Women, on the other hand, need men for protection, and assistance in child rearing.

Modern society has modified these bioligical imperatives. As women have achieved more power in society, they are able to enjoy sex for pure pleasure; Men are now "allowed" to show their softer, more feminine side.

There certainly is a difference between men and women when it comes to sex -- and attitudes towards sex.

I suspect Mapleleaf captured more of the spirit of that difference than most of us would like to acknowledge.

depends on the man
depends on the woman

It seems to me the answer should be pretty easy to determine. If you are a male - have you ever been in love?

fishin ~ I would love to hear the male point of view with sex and being in love.

Well ya know Rae, pillow talk has never really been my forte.

lmao

Couldja clarify your comment a bit for me?

dys- Exactly. A mature individual will have incorporated the concepts of sex and love, and will seek both in one person. Someone who exhibits a less mature level of psychosexual development, would still separate the two concepts.

You see this a lot on the person who exhibits the so called, "madonna/whore" complex. These men divide women into two groups- good women, and bad women. The good women are the wives and mothers. They are put on a pedestal.......and you don't have sex with perfection. There is often little sexual attraction to "good women". On the other hand, these men find sexual pleasure with the "bad girls". They are sexually attracted to them, but would not dream of building a life with them, or making them the mother of their children!

lol.....

'If you are a male, have you ever been in love?'.

What's it been like for you to be in love? 'Pillowtalk' is not necessary, just generalise it!

Phoenix

Well said.

Although it's important to acknowledge that there is a female counterpart to the 'Madonna-whore complex'. Perhaps we could call it: 'The irresistible bad-boy complex'.

An extreme example is women who write love letters to, and become enamoured of, notorious murderers.

Went through the writing stage myself.....Thank goodness he doesn't know where I am.....

I had hopes this thread would not SINK INTO THE DEPTHS; indeed, I believe it is headed in a constructive direction.

A side comment, the use of the F-word was to simulate the crudeness of the of the concept, the emotion.

I think this is bunkety bunk bunk. Well, qualification -- I think that there are women and men who actually fall into these categories, but that it is a matter of socialization rather than anything more inherent.

For example, there was a study (I can try to find it upon request) that measured physiological response to pornography with men and women. The expectation was that the men would get all hot 'n' bothered and the women wouldn't. Not so. They were equally physically aroused, but the women said they weren't more than the men did. I.e., on average, men were aroused and said so. While on average, women were aroused and said they weren't.

Obviously, there's a large mental component to it, but I think it is mostly just that people (men and women) have been socialized to believe certain things about gender and sexuality.

jjorge- Hmm... Bad boy complex. I know that there are women who have relationships with serial killers, and rapists. I do not know much about the dynamics behind that, but I would be interested in finding some studies on the subject.

I wonder if there is any correllation between women who tend to be abused in general, and those who would actively consort with criminals?

Sozobe, are you saying it is SOCIALLY CORRECT for men to say they are hot, but NOT SOCIALLY CORRECT for women?

ladies love outlaws and then pursue civilizing them.

I wouldn't have had a problem with pornography had my ex not gone out of his way to hide it from me.

I don't have a problem with it now, but back then, the fact that he hid it from me made me wonder what intrigue the pictures held for him. And why he wasn't happy with me. Which, in turn, took a huge toll on our sex life.

I recently confronted him about this (we've been divorced for five years and have a great friendship) and he apologised to me. Especially when I mentioned to him that if he'd shared his interest with me, it could have been something we both might have enjoyed.

Mapleleaf, with all due respect, I think all sozobe was saying was that in this particular study, men were more prone to admitting that porn turned them on than women, which gave the study skewed results. The socialization aspect of the post just says that women are generally socialized to not admit things like 'we dig porn', whereas men are socialized to revel in it. That's all.

Personally, I think that as both love and sex are 'human' things, not 'boy/girl' things, it is impossible to try to pound millions of square pegs into two round holes, so to speak I have serially killed many onions, carrots and a whole lot of celery, and my wife still sticks by me.

I think you must define F***'ing.

If it is doing the deed out of nothing but lust for that pie in the sky somethin', my hub and I have both made love and F'd with carnal, reckless abandon.

Making love is, in my view, a physical demonstration of love. An expression to the person you love.

F'ing is purely hedonistic.

Haven't we all done both? I think anyone who limits themselves to one or the other is really missing something.

dys- not only outlaws, but men that I characterize as "broken wings". There are many women who desperately need to be needed, and will purposely pursue men who have difficult emotional problems. They will then spend their lives attempting to "fix them" which really can't be done.

This is why you see women who will leave an abusive alcoholic, and then take up with another one. These women have so little self esteem, that they fall into a pattern of serial codependency.