Husband hospitalized for Intestinal Infection

Noddy -n- Lil K....Reading your posts right now, causes me to well up in tears. I guess to add to all of this, I'm PMS'ing...GREAT!

(ok, time for a vent session! If ya don't want to hear me bitch, AVOID AT ALL COST!)

I'm tired...and I feel that NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THAT!

I not only have all the sports, work and homework that one person can stand, but I'm doing HAIR on the side too!

I DO NOT GET ANY REST!

I DO NOT GET ANY ME ME ME TIME!

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THAT!

It wasn't no big deal for me to have to get up at 5 am in the morning to get the kids ready for school and drive some 90 miles off north to the hospital to sit there and be ignored by some asshole that is sopposed to care about me....and he calls that love!

Its no big deal to get up at 4 in the morning and not GET HOME TILL AFTER 9 at night ...most nights....I CAN HANDLE IT! YEAH RIGHT! And thats getting my homework done before we leave, and the kids done when we get home, not to count, my bath, their baths and LAUNDRY!
I get up and start laundry at 4 in the morning, to keep up with it!

It took me having one of those hissy fits to get the one with the "MEDICAL CONDITION" to help me on that one!!! HELL, if your going to be at home, would it not HURT YOU TO HELP ME OUT???? After the hissy fit..he's done that much...

I'm not allowed to PMS! Why....WHY SHOULD I HAVE THAT CHANCE? I mean...GOOD GRIEF.......I'm only human!

I had 46 hours on my time card this week...and will have over 50 next week!!! I'm short handed AGAIN! NO BIGGIE...I am sopposed to be able to handle it...I ALWAYS HAVE! Then I get these customers that want to ask STUPID QUESTIONS...and I don't have time for those STUPID QUESTIONS...but they think I DO!

I can't wait for my lil party...but there again...(GRRRR) someone has informed me that the next morning at camp, he's bringing me the youngest son at daylight!!! WHY? Because its opening weekend of muzzle-loading and he's going hunting! OK.......FINE, WHATEVER! But if the shoe was on the other foot! (mumble, mumble, mumble)

Thats why I have had such a problem with his "Dieting Idea".

Why is it, no matter what direction I go in, he wants to go the opposite? I never WIN! (MUMBLE, MUMBLE, MUMBLE)

I have the fleaing syndrome really really bad right now!! I would love to load up and run the hell away and be GONE........


Ok, I've said enough...I got part of it out...deep breath...feel somewhat better...now where's the bourbon?

OHH YEAH...and why I'm raising hell, I NEVER get one single DAY to actually wake up naturally...on my own..without some alarm clock going off!!!

Tommorrow, I have to be up at 6...we have a ballgame early in the morning and have to drive about 45 miles off to get to it!

Not count, I have to work Sunday!!!

Mms--

At least you're venting. I'd hate to think of the headline, "Diner Gal, Mother-of-two Decapitates Husband with Paring Knife"

She confided to the prison matron, "My husband told me that I never think of anyone but myself. He just made me so mad, I didn't take the time to look for a better knife. He didn't suffer. I gave him a little tap on the jaw, first, and he went down like a bad joke."

Murder would be a little out of line, but you're entitled to vent and rage and bitch and indulge PMS--and send him home to his mother with a suitcase full of dirty clothes.

Obviously the guy has a lot of unused Executive Talent that he wants to practice on you--after all, you make time for everything else, why can't you be his Very Special Lab Rat?

Remember, down the road your sons are going to look at their wives and announce, "Mother never had any problems."

Can't you find someone else to keep an eye on your little one for the Morning After the Night Before?

I have no idea how you've managed to tote the load you're toting--but I admire you.

Hold your dominion.

I just keep taking very DEEP BREATHs NODDY...VERY DEEP ONEs!

I appreciate everything you have said..its helpful.

I am probably going to see if I can get my sister-n-Law to watch him that night, so I don't have to worry about waking up at daylight to a hyper 7 year old.

Of course, my husband balked on that idea...but he'll live. He doesn't need to worry, it will aggravate his medical condition!

Sons: I have had that same thought.
I have had that same discussion with the Invalid.
He just looks at me like I'm a nuisance thats been watching Dr.Phil


I thought about stabbing him in the head with a fork! LOL

Either aim for the nose and eye sockets or avoid them, depending on whether you want a terminal solution or just to make a clear statement of your feelings.

I also don't know how you do it. You mentioned doing housework at some point...

how old are your children - I know you've told us. The whole several day a week driving to sports thing didn't happen in my youth and I don't see it as a given. I know your husband probably does. Can he drive? Are there alternatives?

LOL@Noddy...


Hi Osso...

My children at 11 and 7....

The sports thing...well, we could curb that, but we both support our children with sports. We encourage it...so much so, that we have given up any free time, so they may have that opportunity.

I think I need to explain. I have vented about ME...yes Ma'am, I'm tired...extremely. And when I have these moments, I feel all alone and that no one understands me. I feel like I'm expected to be SuperWomen and have no emotional feelings or cares about anything other than tending to everyone else and their needs.

House Cleaning: Well...I do the majority of it. I don't know how I do it, but its one of them things..

I walk past the washer ~ stops and puts on clothes.

If I get a phone call ~~~ I do the dishes, while talking.

If I go to the bathroom ~~~ I tend to pick it up and clean it as I come back out.

Trash....Thats just habit, I do it immediately when I come through the door...lol


Sundays..if I don't work, I do a complete cleaning....and make the kids and husband help.

I can't completely raise immortal hell about him...he does help. (Usually Sunday mornings..he'll cook breakfast and do the dishes and start the laundry...) BUt its at his convenience, and not mine. Thats what irritates me so much. (the rest of the time, its null and void)

The boys are made to help out too when needed. They have their chores, in which I dole out and they are expected to do it right or they are made to do it again, till its done correct.

Mr.Shivers...well, I complain...but he's pretty good at sports...where it concerns the boys. He does take them to practice, alot of times, I go....
BUT..he has to go, he is one of the coaches...so he has to be there.

See..before he was diagnosed with diverticulitus, his work hours varied so much so that it was impossible to make plans to do anything. A majority of the time, he would call me, tell me to meet him at the ball field, or football field...bring HIS CLOTHES.......the kids.....and he might not get there till it was just about overwith. (hard to explain) But we dealt with it, or I DEALT WITH IT....I'd usually leave early to come back home and finish up homework...housework..etc.

It just seems that the last couple of weeks, things have been so much more hectic than before. How? I have no idea...I think part of it is the fact that someone is underneath me 24/7. And I'm watching him sleep....And here I am working myself to death...with the feeling that I'm getting no help.

(maybe that makes sense? lol)

makemeshiver, my washer broke down. Any possibility that you could do a load of laundry for me this weekend?

Just a few pairs of overalls and some socks.

<runs like the devil>

i thought women's lib was supposed to free women from this type of slavery.

but then, I knew it was all a lot of blather. Now women have a job as well as the other jobs of taking care of house, kids, husband. Each is full time in itself.

You HAVE to make time for yourself, even if it's just a walk around the block.

I was not aware that diverticulosis was such a horrible disease. My mom was diagnosed with it in her 60's and it never slowed her down. She just had to watch what she ate. But he certainly should not be an invalid. It is controllable and should not be painful unless he isn't following the diet. High fiber, no tomato seeds or small seeds, I think is what my mom was told.

Hang in there. You're the hub around which the family turns. You make the rules.

I was just messin' with you, MMS.

Please........put the knife down.

Mms--



I've got a Going To Be Seventy-in-Two-Weeks Yankee as compared to your Good Ol' Boy who is half that age and half that liberated.

Mr. Noddy prides himself about the amount of housework he does--and he spends more time bragging than sweating.

Last time we had a Knock-Down-Drag-'Em-Out session about me making lists for him of all the little chores he'd promised to do but hadn't got a Round Tu-it for.

Poor baby, that little list made him feel pressured.

Poor me, that little list substituted for nagging and made me feel less like a bitch.

After all, if the Man of the House isn't going to do the chores, what is the difference between a Official Written List and a Malicious List that I'm keeping in my resentful mind.

I don't know about you, but the statement that is going to get Mr. Noddy a fork right through his "good" eye and into his brain is, "That's only a ten minute job!"

After nigh on 30 years the compromise we reached was that I could put my little lists on the fridge and he could do or not do the chores.

Sure enough, the list nagged at him. Also when kids come to call they read the list (frequently out loud). A number of 10 minute chores are being accomplished.

Sacrificing time for the kids sports makes sense. Family comes first.

I'm guessing that while you think throwing the laundry in the washing machine every so often would be nice that getting that godawful mess off the back porch for ever and ever would be even nicer.

These people sell a great variety of magnets:

http://snipurl.com/i930

They aren't pretty magnets, but you can tack many, many objects on a refrigerator.

They also sell all sorts of scientific toys for medium sized boys and daddies.

Staples and Office Max have all manner of sticky pads.



You aren't getting much help--and you're asking for it like a High Born Lady when you're talking to a man whose mama raised him to be some other woman's problem.

Of course magnets and post-it notes won't work if he's illiterate, but can he read big print?

Hold your dominion.

Personally, I don't really get it, re the demand that seems to be for your being a human windmill.

but I don't want to stop you in mid track by my basic questions.

But... I wouldn't mind seeing you look at the grid re work, over time.

Yeahhhh...I married one of them.."Good Ole Boys"...Damn me to a life of living in hell!

He has his moments. This "medical condition" that he's flaunting is just a ploy to get to milk it! I knew it when it happened...knew what to expect. Sure enough, it happened. Makes me wanna chip up jalenpeno's in his popsicles! (Suffer damn ya!) LOL

I find it so funny, that he can coach the football team this morning...and he's off to go Bow Hunting this evening. BUT lets talk....anything else...and he's got a "Medical Condition". (GRRR)

His Momma did raise him to be some other womans problems. I hope she was ashamed of herself at some point in her life..but I highly doubt it. To hear her tell it, I was never good enough to be married to him to begin with. (sputters!)

Lets get down to the nitty gritty...This was a woman that sat on her throne and ordered the husband around. The kids were not made to do anything. My poor F-I-L come in from work, and 6 days out of the week, he cooked supper and done the laundry. She ruled the roost. She sat and crocheted, knitted and done crafts...usually in her nightgown for the most part of the day...and he had the housework to do. (Bless his heart..HE ADORED HER)

My husband went in the opposite direction of his father..so much so, that he's made me miserable in the process. This is a discussion that we have had many times. He knows it...he's admitted it. BUT, he doesn't do anything to change it.

I don't expect him to do all the housework...I expect him to help me keep things lined out...help when I need help, otherwise, get out of my way. I do not mind housework, but when I'm overloaded like I have been and still am, I need some compassion, some appreciation....so respect. There is none....

Since I've had my hissy fit, he's been Johnny on the Spot with helping. But I shouldn't have to be a Bitch to get help. And I shouldn't have to wait for him to decide he's ready to do it...to me...if he cared---he'd do it automatically without me bitching to get him to do so.

My way of thinking...If your going to be off work, then take up my slack and help out! It won't kill ya....certainly not going to affect your "Medical Condition"...

I've never seen anyone person have to have as much sleep as he does. Which is another sore subject...I get on a nightly average around 5 to 6 hours of sleep. There are no naps to be had, no lazing around on the couch...(of course, I could right now...but why bother, I have people coming for their hair to be done)



GUS:


Knife hell...I'm going for a FORK...inflict more pain!






It shouldn't be such a horrible disease...its not. I know of one man that I have been comparing notes with and he's had it for the last 10 years. He's apparently still has the infection. He's milkin' it...





HA...he's far from Illiterate.....he's apparently smart enough to work the system to his benefit! Speakin' of his intelligence...LOL, he should have been college educated, he'd made a wonderful lawyer or politician! He's very politically knowledgable...amazes me with his insight on different subjects.

Mms--



"Shouldn't?"

You wouldn't expect a puppy to be housebroken without lessons or a tiger to jump through a flaming hoop without training, would you?

Your house has been running on old-fashioned rules and if you want change you're going to have to supervise the transition to the 21st century.


"If he cared" and if his mama had drug him up differently, he'd be an automatic Doer of Household Chores.

Think of yourself as a diamond cutter--there's a 300 Carat Southern Gentleman in there if you just do some chipping and polishing.

Hold your dominion.

I'm picking up a rebellion against going in his father's household footsteps..

I find it awfully frustrating when men give men a bad name.

In my mind, demarcation zones do not exist in a good marriage.

There is a certain amount of work to be done, which includes all paid employment hours AND non paid domestic chores/duties. As long as both partners are working an equal amount of hours to make sure that everything is done, it really doesn't come into it re. who does what.

If partner A's paid work takes 10 hours from leaving the house to getting home, and B's home chores/duties takes 15 hours, then A simply helps out until everything is done.

My Mum left home when I was a young teenager, and since then I have washed and ironed every single shirt for myself, done most of the weekly grocery shopping and am a dab hand in the kitchen.

At present, my wife is working about 12 hours a day, and I don't, so I do most of the things around the house. We males ARE quite capable of doing it, it's just that some humans (sadly males, usually) would rather not.....especially when they can get away with it.

On the health front, I have Crohn's, which is worse (I am told) than Diverticulitis. I have good times and bad times on a regular basis. Apart from my recovery from surgery, I have always been able to get stuck in and do my bit.

MMS, I would advise that you stop being a willing horse. Blunt, I know...but the alternative is that you remain running around in circles, eventually disappearing up your own rectum.

Sorry.

Makemeshiver, you do sound really tired and as though you are overworked.
I admire your dedication to your family and all you are putting into it. You're hubby is lucky to have someone like you taking care of him, the kids, the work, the house....whoa, I'm getting tired just thinking of it!

I do agree with Lord though. Maybe it's bc I'm not married (never been) and bc of my personality; but it makes me cringe just reading some of those posts!
No need to be Superwoman. You don't want to end up sick yourself.

It's okay to say: Whoa, I need help BEFORE I start thinking of wanting to stab you !!

Just MO, but I'd be kicking that good ol' boy in the butt.

God bless you women!!

Thank you each one..for the wonderful and yes...supportive words. Its appreciated....

Noddy:

I've been "training" for 18 years. This pup has turned into an old dog with bad habits...that are hard to break. He can be quite helpful when "He" wants to be....

To me, its a "typical southern boy syndrome"...they think their purpose in life is to work...which in return is providing, which should be enough. And for the most part...generally women are stupid. You wouldn't believe the times I've been told that he's got a "Medical Condition"..(DUH!) Like I COULD FORGET!


Osso:

You betcha! There is rebellion there...lots of it. I was told in no uncertain terms years ago in our marriage that "I'll NEVER do as my father done!"

My reply to him.." Well, in your effort not to act like your father, you've turned into the epitomy of your mother!"..and "The sad part about that is, you didn't like her for the way she treated YOUR FATHER!..So you just turn into her?"

I've battled that for years............


Lord Ellpus:

Yes Sir...there is a large amount of work to be done in any home...

Were both paid employees...Granted his pay is MUCH more than mine, but we generally work the same amount of hours..give or take a few less or more, depending on whose on overload ...what week...and why? LOL

My hours are much worse than his.....Which I knew come with the territory. I just want a lil compassion on that aspect of it. Understand that I get up at 3:45 A.M...not 5 or 6...(which is sleeping in..now) Understand that when I come home, its not to lounge around...I work, housework, homework...get all my business taken care of, IN ORDER to take care of HIS BUSINESS and the KIDS...And when I'm done with all their business, I start again on mine...

Just don't think thats too much to expect.


Its nice that you help out...I hope she appreciates it. I appreciate it when he helps me....and thats a big WHEN...

Health Front: Thats awful to know you suffer from Crohn's. I do understand that its worse to deal with than diverticulitus. Actually, I'm wondering if he doesn't have Crohn's...(hoping that he doesn't.) I've never known a case of Diverticulitus..(now that I've talked to people that have it) to do as this one has done.

"His" Diverticulitus has become a major problem for me....which I know may seem selfish...but its not like its the end of the world for him....lets face it, come to terms with it, and lets deal with it. And thats the way I feel....The world doesn't stop because he's got Diverticulitus. (Big BABY)

Be as Blunt as you would like LE...I'm trying to stop being the willing horse. Lordy, does it cause conflict! When I balk....it about throws his neck out of allignment from the twitch that I give him...

But thats my fault there too, I was too willing to please the first umm, 5 or 6 years of our marriage. Was to willing to let him have his way and too willing to be the "wonderful wife". I created this monster through my own doings.


Flushd:

I am tired. And Thank you...I wish my husband thought of himself as being "lucky" to have me. I honestly think he looks at me as a burr under his saddle.

MMS.........just a little point about your terminology.

I don't "help out".....I "do my fair share". At this moment in time, this involves doing about 80% of all the household chores, owing to the fact that my wife is still running around at her place of work work, trying to stop 1800 adolescents from totally wrecking her school.

The term "helping out" infers that it is YOUR task alone, and he is doing you a big favour, merely by running the hoover round the house.

It sounds like you both work long hours.....and both of you work very hard. But why should one partner work many more hours than the other?