One thing is true, if a musician isn't getting his/her music in, no matter what the case, they'll be upset, depressed, angry, etc.
So true CarbonSystem, so true. He's up practicing right now. He seems more at ease afterwards. Maybe if he gets a few sessions in over the next couple of weeks it will help.
He's really not a bad guy. It's just that danged artistic temperment thing! Drives me nuts! It would be easy to know what to do if I didn't love him, but I still do. Hopeless romantic that I am.
MA, your husband's refusal to perform before "a bunch of drunks" reveals that he has standards. His art is very important to him. He can suffer two ways: (1) not be able to perform and (2) to perform in a circumstance that diminishes him.
You have to also be sensitive to your own egoism. We are all egoists, it can be a healthy part of us. But we should recognize it in ourselves, not only in others.
But I DO sympathize with your situation.
JLN,
Believe me, if anyone knows my faults, it's me! I am not discounting them one bit. I just kind of use this thread to vent some.
JLN, the thing is, those are the kinds of places he has always played in. It would have been going back to one of the same clubs he had performed at before. I don't know if he's scared to go back to music or what it is. He says he's not afraid of it. Where we live, there aren't that many opportunities to play in places like the casinos and such. He's not a lounge singer and he doesn't have a band. So, he's kind of limited in that. He does have synchronized music and he sounds like a whole band. Most places around here hire someone for fifty bucks and they do karaoke. Can't blame the bar owners, there. Economy isn't that good for the bar business.
I wish I knew what it was that I could do to help him through this, JLN. I don't know what to do. I tell him how good of a singer and performer he is because he is. I tell him I am proud of his accomplishments, etc., because I am. I'm no where near perfect but I feel like nothing I do makes a difference to him at all.
Thanks, MA. Helpful response.
Helpful? Well, let me in on it JLN. I am at a loss here right now.
Helpful in that it gave me insight into the problems;
I'm having trouble staying connected. My posts will be brief for the next nline days.
I have been a working musician for 30 years in addition to electrician and investor.
Music has it's moments.
Chumly,
You just gave me the best insight into you I could ever have gotten. So, you have a bit of that artistic temperment, do you? :wink:
What Kind of Artistic Temperament Do You Have?
http://www.ym.com/jsp/quiz/apr0805.jsp
Team Player
It's not easy for a lot of other people, but you're a pro at working well with others. You enjoy groups a lot. You don't get intimidated, nor do you feel the need to shove your way front and center. You'd probably be a true asset as the member of a band who keeps people from too much infighting, or working on a collaborative art form like movie making.
Not sure I agree with all of that Chumly, but it was a neat test. Thanx.
Team Player
It's not easy for a lot of other people, but you're a pro at working well with others. You enjoy groups a lot. You don't get intimidated, nor do you feel the need to shove your way front and center. You'd probably be a true asset as the member of a band who keeps people from too much infighting, or working on a collaborative art form like movie making.
American Idol Commercial Break:
Chumly,
You too? Wow. Ok, I definitely would be one to try to stop infighting or work on a movie or something. I do work well with others as long as it's a common goal. I can get rather headstrong if I'm working on something and someone else butts in though.
I am not too sure how accurate this test is but it's fun. I can tell you that in general creative people are not the easiest to live with.
Then again my dog is easier to live with than any person, but I would not sleep with Daisy
If he is not playing regularly he is going to be a stinker! If you push him to play regularly he'll just get stinky at you. The drive has to come from within him.
Well, he has been practicing the past few nights for an hour or so. It really does seem to help. He's calmer. Things don't seem quite so tense for him. He has been asked to play at Moro Bay (I think that's it) at a lake club or something. His dad's some kind of group is having a big to do. He seems excited about it.
I've been trying to be really supportive of it. I am very happy for him, as a matter of fact. But, I have to admit, I'm a bit scared that he will want to all of a sudden quit his job and go back to music. He's 54 now and there's just not much call for live entertainment around here.
I have feelings for and against his playing again. But, I think the best thing for him, me, and us would be to at least do some music. Play once a month somewhere or something. I'd love to go hear him again. He's got a beautiful voice.
It does not matter how good your hubby is, you gotta find out what the people want and give it to them. Then you gotta promote it right. And you have to be willing to travel.
And therein lies the problem, Chumly. He's an awesome singer and guitar player. Problem is, he only wants to play what he wants to play. He's not very audience friendly. I've talked to him about this but he doesn't think it is something that needs to change. So, if he wants to just play sporadically it's not a problem. If he wants to play all the time, it's a problem.
It's not that he's not a nice guy because he can be so charming. He just has this attitude about him that kind of turns people off until they get to know him.
I've seen what you are talking about a million times.
When you are playing live, it's all about entertainment and the show. Some figure it out and some don't. If the audience picks up even a bit of an attitude you're doomed.
You gotta look and feel like you like you just won 20 million dollars.
All the time..........
It's actually not that easy to do.
