Nervous and Excited... Take the risk??

...

Yea but I don't want to come across as a b*tch either.... But I want to be straightforward with him.....

Yup, you're right... at least I am not over analyzing anymore :-D

C.L.: There's no law that says you have to come across like a #####. If you are going to have any kind of good relationship at all with this guy,you should calmly and lovingly tell him what
concerns you,and discuss it with him. Tell him that when he doesn't call,you get concerned that something has happened. Never give the impression that you are"high-maintenance" and need a lot of attention and validation. That is the surest way to make any man head for the nearest door.
Bless you both,
lindatw

No, I won't say it b*tchy at all... What I plan on doing is just saying, listen I appreciate you calling to talk to me about what is bothering you but there is just a fine line between what you tell me and they way u say it... being disrespectful like that is a big pet peeve of mine

nervous and excited.....
C.L. That sounds like a good way to do it.
lindatw

Do you mind if I ask how often he ends up getting drunk?

Good question.

Why? He's probably in his early twenties, he should be drunk constantly.

He turned 22 today... he seems to go to the bar alot

Ohhh Crazie, you remind me so much of a friend I used to have. Back in my drinking-til-I-cant-see days

I actually agree with Slappy here (not that being in the early 20's means you should be a drunken loser part).
I agree w/ throwing him a hardball.

Actually, I'd be hitting more than a hardball his way. Major signals going off here. This guy sounds ....how to I put it delicately....like a loser who is going to just screw you over in the long run?! Sorry. But I've seen this over and over and over...I don't really have much sympathy for it.
Cut the BS and tell him when you don't like something! Whatever you tolerate now, will just get worse with every passing week.

Anyhow, keep us up-to-date.

No, it;s not that bad flushd... he;s not a loser... it was the night before his birthday, he went out with a buddy.. ran into his ex while being drunk, got upset and decided to call me and talk to me...

I am not too sure about the whole loser part... I can usually smell them a mile away and I'd have to say that he is not one of them, because I have dated them all...

He has goals, ambitions, dreams, a future, money... a friendly personality... so he's not too bad at all...

I am just upset with the way he has handled himself lately.... he is under what seems to be some stress and I feel a tad bit bad... but what I need to know is if he can give me what I want or if I should look somewhere else

But he is not a loser

On a one-day-at-a-time approach you can see if on most days he's what you are looking for and make allowances for the days he isn't. If the relationship is mostly negative or if the bad days remind you of what you were in before, then move on.

You can tell him that you don't expect him to call you every day, but you do expect him to do what he says he'll do. You don't object to his going out to the bars, but you do object to getting woken up by a drunken sod in the middle of the night, particularly when you have to get up and go to work in the morning.

It's fine to be there for him, but if you find yourself putting more into the relationship than you get out of it then he should go into your bag of friendly ex's.

Getting one drunken call in the middle of the night means he likes you and wants to talk to you. Getting them regularly means he's more trouble than he's worth.

One-day-at-a-time, CL.

Hey, at 22, you go out, get drunk, and do stupid things.

You do it at 29 also. I'm living proof. You can reach your goals.

I agree with you 100% J_B... took the thoughts outta my head :-)

Slappy what exactly are your goals??

What are my goals? Are you trying to interview me?

Ok, well my goal in life is to become the ultimate strobe light dancer.

Wait...he has ambition/money? Doesn't he work at a pizza shop?

strobe light dancer?? please enlighten us.

Crazie, that's exactly what my friend used to say when I told her the guys calling her were losers. BTW; not a good idea to EVER insult a friends' love interest.

I apologize. I obviously don't know the dude. Sometimes my opinions spill where they don't belong!

- bowing out of this thread -

Sounds like he drinks too much, or at least has no self-control and dubious priorities. First he doesn't call you because he was "too busy boozing it up," then he drunk-dials you to bitch about his ex.