Wrong Answer Game

A: It's quicker! Trains take forever and even big fish have trouble driving.
😂😂😂 That's funny!

Q: If I use a mirror, will I be able to see a Unicorn behind me?

A: No, but you'll be able to see the back of your head, and that will be disheartening enough. However, the best chance of seeing a unicorn is to go downtown and take a video selfie behind your head while jumping up and down singing a unicorn song.

Q: If tuna is called chicken of the sea, what is chicken called?

coluber - Q: If tuna is called chicken of the sea, what is chicken called?

A: Some names spring immediately to mind - Foghorn Leghorn; Egghead Jnr; Chicken Little; Camilla; Buck Cluck & etc

Q: Your chicken question reminded me of something that has bothered me for years and requires explanation - A hen that is in laying mode is called a 'layer'; a person that paints houses is called a painter; a person who fixes tiles is called a tiler and so forth and so on - why then is a person who sets out and affixes bricks called a bricklayer and not a bricker? If they lay bricks shouldn't they be in hospital, and not on a building site?

Q: Your chicken question reminded me of something that has bothered me for years and requires explanation - A hen that is in laying mode is called a 'layer'; a person that paints houses is called a painter; a person who fixes tiles is called a tiler and so forth and so on - why then is a person who sets out and affixes bricks called a bricklayer and not a bricker? If they lay bricks shouldn't they be in hospital, and not on a building site?

A: I've heard the term "sh*t a brick" if that's what you're referring to. There is an animal that does just that, the wombat. It lays square feces. It build burrows on the side of a hill. Since the wombat is very territorial, the turds are territorial markers, and since they're square they won't roll down the hill. Wombats are true bricklayers.

Q: I've seen crows mobbing and harassing owls and chasing them away. What have crows got against owls?

 

coluber - Q: I've seen crows mobbing and harassing owls and chasing them away. What have crows got against owls?

A: Numbers!

Q: Why do most species of crabs walk sideways? Isn't that an inefficient method of moving about? I mean, if they want to get to something to the right of them they have to walk around in a circle to get there!

Q: Why do most species of crabs walk sideways? Isn't that an inefficient method of moving about? I mean, if they want to get to something to the right of them they have to walk around in a circle to get there!

A: Mostly, they're too shy to approach you directly, so they just sidle up to you. Also, that armour is the dickens to walk in properly.

Q: Why are there so many poisonous snakes and other creatures in Australia?

 

 

coluber - Q: Why are there so many poisonous snakes and other creatures in Australia?

A: When God was finished making and populating the World with creatures like the Unicorn, Bambi, Dolphins and suchlike, he had a huge agglomeration of creatures that comprised 'the natural balance'; the nasty, the evil, the poisonous & etc... He cast his eye around all that he had done and saw Australia, way, way down at the bottom of the World and thought "Fornicate it! No-one will ever live there!", and off-loaded the lot... it was the British who thought such a place fitted their needs perfectly, and as it turned out, it did! The nasty, the evil and the poisonous among the Poms fitted in nicely

Q: I like square pies, especially the crunchy corner pastry... Whose idea was it to make pies round?

Q: I like square pies, especially the crunchy corner pastry... Whose idea was it to make pies round?

A: I'm tempted to say that it was the foresight of the Frisbee guy, but he came much later. So, I'll have to go with the anti-math guys who were against the mathematician guy who said said Pi R square. But in reality, it was that the potters found it much easier to make round pans than square pans, and they were cheaper.

Q: Why did fish leave water for land?

coluber - Q: Why did fish leave water for land?

A: Have you seen the state of the Earth's waterways? At places like sewage outlets the fish couldn't really swim, they could only go through the motions... the move from fins to arms and legs was easy when you were constantly being chased by underwater wildlife photographers and spearfisherpeople! And while net stockings have a certain appeal, fishing nets take the whole family in one go!

Q: Who was responsible for designing pointy-toe shoes? I mean, who has pointy-toe feet?

Q: Who was responsible for designing pointy-toe shoes? I mean, who has pointy-toe feet?

A: Pointy shoes are aerodynamically superior, which is important in bicycle racing. Since France is the center of Tour de France as well as haute couture, it's understood that the two would influence each other. Though the idea of pointy shoes never really caught on in bicycle racing, it did in haute couture through the association in fashion advertising with bicycle racing.

Q: If people hold intelligence in such high esteem, will our brains become larger through natural selection?

coluber - Q: If people hold intelligence in such high esteem, will our brains become larger through natural selection?

A: Brain size has nothing to do with intelligence! Strange as it may seem, Tonald Drump has a brain that is purportedly larger than that of a crow... a crow is probably 700% smarter than Tonald Drump, and doesn't use a comb-over! Behold the sea-sponge! NO brain at all! Yet obviously smarter than Tonald Drump because it, too, doesn't hide its baldness behind a comb-over! Natural selection will breed out the Tonald Drump's of this world - our brains will probably decrease in size because of AI!

Q: Now that we know the purpose/reason behind pointy-toe shoes, it follows that the following question must be asked - why is it that almost all human beings have one foot slightly larger than the other?

Q: Now that we know the purpose/reason behind pointy-toe shoes, it follows that the following question must be asked - why is it that almost all human beings have one foot slightly larger than the other?

A: A  lot of people have spent a lot of time on one foot, their dominant foot, in various pursuits. For instance yoga enthusiasts spend half their time on one foot in an posture called the stork. I know because I've done it often, and one of my feet is humongous. Another pursuit is ballet dancing where both males and females spend a predominant amount of their time on one foot. In this case, the female also has pointy shoes.

Another reason is what I call the stork gene. Storks and other birds sleep standing on one foot. We've inherited that gene, and when we're standing for long periods of time we shift our weight on one foot, and that foot becomes gigantic with the toes splayed out like a stork's foot. If you don't believe me look at your own foot.

Q: Related is how birds manage to sleep standing on one foot or even two feet for that matter. I've tried it, and it doesn't work at all.

 

coluber - Q: Related - how do birds manage to sleep standing on one foot or even two feet for that matter. I've tried it, and it doesn't work at all.

A: Ha! Fooled you too coluber! They aren't actually asleep! While pretending to be asleep they are actually wriggling their toes/claws/talons in the mud, sand, dirt or on the branch/twig/whatever and this action creates a disturbance of the strata so that the creatures living therein/thereon are force to move... Bingo! Snack-time! Further - the reason you can't sleep standing up is because, believe it or not, the weight of your head!

Q: Following visits to the moon by people from various countries, why aren't they telling us the type of cheese the moon is made of?

Q: Following visits to the moon by people from various countries, why aren't they telling us the type of cheese the moon is made of?

A: I'm almost positive it's limberger or one of the other stinky cheeses, which would account for the odor-filtering helmets they have to wear. There is so much public sentiment against these types cheeses that the Moon program would seem like a waste of time and money.

Q: Does grape-treading or grape-stomping with bare feet affect the flavor of wine?

coluber - Q: Does grape-treading or grape-stomping with bare feet affect the flavor of wine?

A: Yes. Vintners who follow this splendid tradition pay a premium wage for ballerini dell'uva, especially those with tinea capitis and/or tinea corporis, ingrown toenails, and/or any other infection of the feet... they have found that using such people imparts a special flavour to their wares, a flavour that eludes naming, and is the bane of the wine cognoscenti, thereby giving them (the Vintners) the edge over their competitors

Q: What is 'The Third Eye', and do we all have one? If I have a 'third eye' will I need to have my spectacles altered?

Q: What is 'The Third Eye', and do we all have one? If I have a 'third eye' will I need to have my spectacles altered?

A: Tuataras have a third eye that is functional, but we don't know its function except that it may help with circadian rhythm or thermoregulation. In the young
It functions like a regular eye, but then it gets covered by scales.

Certain spiritual practices claim humans have a third eye but that it doesn't exist except in the mind, i.e., the mind's eye, and you can't discover it without having a third eye, which doesn't exist except in the mind. What? Tuataras make more sense.

Q: People like having fun, and dogs have fun. What's fun for a cat?

coluber - Q: People like having fun, and dogs have fun. What's fun for a cat?

A: Leaving a surprise in visitor's shoes left at the front door

Q: The Earth is caught in a prograde rotation... is this why my clock runs a few minutes late every day?

Q: The Earth is caught in a prograde rotation... is this why my clock runs a few minutes late every day?

A: I've heard that time flies, but maybe even time slows down a bit with age. I get it. Three seconds ain't bad, and I'd settle for that.

Q: Is wisdom a prerequisite to becoming president?

coluber - Q: Is wisdom a prerequisite to becoming president?

A: No - Wisdom is said to come with age, and given that the prospective Presidents of the US of A (the Orange One and the Bumbler), are both old men, that adage flies in the face of fact - the Orange One still likes to play with little cats ('I like to grab pussies') and the Bumbler has lost his atlas, which, given that he has a neighbour to the south he knows not wot of, raises concerns with regard to the wisdom of the American public in voting for either! It would seem that the wisdom needs to be given to the people! Indeed, it should be a prerequisite for being given voting rights!

Q: Pineapple - Given the right growing conditions, I can cut the green top off a pineapple, stick it into the right growing medium and get another pineapple! Why can't I do this with the top off a can of beer?

Q: Pineapple - Given the right growing conditions, I can cut the green top off a pineapple, stick it into the right growing medium and get another pineapple! Why can't I do this with the top off a can of beer?

A: You might if you plant the lid in water. Add yeast, add plenty of sugar, wait a week. Voila, beer! Of sorts.

Q: What's the best cure for a hangover?

coluber - Q: What's the best cure for a hangover?

A: Prevention is way better than a cure! In this particular case, it would be better to pay more attention to the road and drive round the sharp curves and bends at an appropriate speed! Skidding and sliding so that the front end of the car/truck/whatever is hanging over the edge of a 1,000 foot drop is not in your best interests! The best cure for this sort of a hangover is to study your map, and drive to conditions!

Q: There are those who believe that the Earth is heating up... do you think it worth my while to invest in a company that makes HUGE umbrellas? (Big enough to cover whole cities and towns)

@ coluber - thank you for your advice re growing beer - the crop is bubbling away nicely