Wrong Answer Game

coluber - Q: Speaking of wastes (waists), if you're overweight, should you be drinking beer at all?

A: This is moral question as much as anything coluber! In my opinion the answer would be a resounding YES! It is imperative that we keep breweries open and working because when the oil runs out we will need something to run ourselves on, there being no cars etc anymore! The 'morality' portion of the question runs to 'do you feel OK in putting hundreds of thousands out of work?' Because if you, coluber, stop drinking beer, this action will spread and spread, this outrageous act of corruption, this thoughtless act of anarchy!

Q:Why is some paper sold as 'Onionskin' paper when
(a) It is not made of onion skins
(b) It doesn't smell remotely of onion
(c) It is horrible in a salad

Q:Why is some paper sold as 'Onionskin' paper when
(a) It is not made of onion skins
(b) It doesn't smell remotely of onion
(c) It is horrible in a salad

A: Because it's fragile and will break down in time, and you will lose an important document or piece of writing. Then it will make you cry.

Q: Is there a cure for cynicism?

Yes, but there's no point looking for it, it's more trouble than it's worth.

Why is James Corden still at liberty?

izzythepush - Q: Why is James Corden still at liberty?

A: But is he izzy, is he? Methinks Corden is in a prison of his own making! Any mind that conjures up what he is responsible for is a weird and wonderful thing! Can you imagine the voices he alone hears? The doubts? The self-deprecation? The un-natural urges? No, Corden is not at liberty, he is serving a self-imposed life sentence!

Q: What would happen if you crossed a badger with a fox?

Q: What would happen if you crossed a badger with a fox?

A: You would get a clever nag.

Q: To continue the theme, how about crossing a mule with a sloth?

Heh heh Cunning of you coluber

coluber - Q: To continue the theme, how about crossing a mule with a sloth?

A: Just to be clear coluber - A two-toed, or a three-toed sloth?

Q: A lift/elevator mechanic is working on top of a lift... some malfunction makes the lift/elevator rise to the roof of the shaft, thereby crushing the mechanic flat as a pancake... whose job is it to remove the remains?

Q: A lift/elevator mechanic is working on top of a lift... some malfunction makes the lift/elevator rise to the roof of the shaft, thereby crushing the mechanic flat as a pancake... whose job is it to remove the remains?

A: Whoever is in greatest need of money and least sensitive. Donald Trump comes to mind.

Q: If man's best friend is a dog, then what is a dog's best friend?

coluber - Q: If man's best friend is a dog, then what is a dog's best friend?

A: Their food bowl

Q: Who paid the bill for the 'fishes and loaves' feast?

Q: Who paid the bill for the 'fishes and loaves' feast?

A: We don't know, but we do know who so generously donated the roll of paper towels for napkins.


Q: Does the captain really go down with his sinking ship?

Bwahahahahaha!

coluber - Q: Does the captain really go down with his sinking ship?

A: Only if he/she has a well-rehearsed plan of escape

Q: 'Cobbles' are rounded stones, used for surfacing roads and suchlike - Why, then, is the person who repairs your boots called a 'cobbler'?

Q: 'Cobbles' are rounded stones, used for surfacing roads and suchlike - Why, then, is the person who repairs your boots called a 'cobbler'?

A: Cobblers get roundly stoned or "cobbled" from the chemicals used in making, dyeing, and glueing shoes, so getting cobbled is an inside joke by shoemakers.*
*A total lie.

Q: In sailor's terminology, if a sheet is a rope then what is a sail called?

A. obsolete.

Q. Who would win in a fight between the pope and the archbishop of Canterbury?

izzythepush - Q: Who would win in a fight between the pope and the archbishop of Canterbury?

A: Depends entirely upon the referee!

Q: What happens to all the holes in the ground when all the oil is pumped out?

Q: What happens to all the holes in the ground when all the oil is pumped out?

A: They become dry holes?

But seriously, I'm imagining an overweight person who just lost a lot of fat, and they have a lot of flabby skin hanging down. Oil = fat. Would the Earth have a flabby surface? Not a pleasant fantasy.

Q: Does it make sense to drive to a gym to walk on a treadmill?

coluber - Q: Does it make sense to drive to a gym to walk on a treadmill?

A: Yes! If you live 35 miles/56.3+ kilometres from the gym, and you walked, you would be exhausted by the time you got there! If you live locally, and walked to the gym, then spent some quality time on the treadmill, you would be too exhausted to walk home again! Eminently sensible, driving to the gym!

Q1 - Did the Great Creator have the metric system in mind when He/She gave us 10 digits on the hands and 10 digits on the feet?

Q 2 - Secondary Question (it is understood that this is supposed to be a single query only, but the content of this part ties in with Part 1) - Having established that we have 10 toes on our feet, does this explain why shipbuilders in the past worked with 10ths of a foot as their base measurement?

Q1 - Did the Great Creator have the metric system in mind when He/She gave us 10 digits on the hands and 10 digits on the feet?

A: Counting on your fingers and toes is metric. That's a good point. Everything's in tens. So maybe the Creator has 12 fingers and toes, and calculating became more difficult, so he gave us a break by giving us 10 fingers because we're not that smart.

A2: My head just exploded thinking about that one.

Q: When you stand up, where does your lap go?

coluber - Q: When you stand up, where does your Lap go?

A: This depends entirely on whether you are sitting at a table or have a tray in front of the television... At the table: Hopefully your Lap will have gone down into your tummy by the time you are ready to stand up - In front of the television: There is no doubt that your Lap will land on the lightest-coloured part of the carpet, and if cooked in red wine, will cause a permanent stain... it is recommended that you consume all of the Lap, and lick the plate/bowl clean before standing up, thereby averting a costly disaster!

Q: Following the next US Federal Elections, whereby Tonald Drump will be elected for a second term... if Drump is incarcerated, what colour will the telephone be that gives him a direct line to Vlad The Invader Sputum?

Q: Following the next US Federal Elections, whereby Tonald Drump will be elected for a second term... if Drump is incarcerated, what colour will the telephone be that gives him a direct line to Vlad The Invader Sputum?

A: When Trump picks up the phone and dials the number, there will be a pre-recorded message with a Russian accent that says, "Hi, Donny, this is Vlady. I don't care what anybody says, you are still such a good boy."


Q: Would Vladimir gladly accept Trump as a fugitive from justice?

coluber - Q: Would Vladimir gladly accept Trump as a fugitive from justice?

A: Not if the agreement is drafted by Rube Googlyanus! Not if Donny doesn't agree to give Vlad all the US nuclear secrets! Not if Donny doesn't agree to sign over the rights to 'Drump Tower' so that Vlad can have a US base for his brown-nosers to take leave at! Not if Donny doesn't teach Vlad 'Locker Room Talk' so that Vlad can feel he is 'one of the boys'... there will be a long list of requirements that Donny, of course, will agree to, then ignore... Vlad will expect no less! Vlad has his room already prepared! They are great chums and Vlad has a list of topics they can discuss over cheese and port of a night

Q: It is thought that birds navigate on their migrations by using 'magnetic fields'... what would happen if, say, the lead goose had suffered a brain injury wherein his 'magfield locator' was faulty and it led the other geese into the Atacama Desert?

Q: It is thought that birds navigate on their migrations by using 'magnetic fields'... what would happen if, say, the lead goose had suffered a brain injury wherein his 'magfield locator' was faulty and it led the other geese into the Atacama Desert?

A: They'd all take a gander, hightail it out of there, and wing it as best as they could before their lead goose was cooked.

Q: How many cliches are too many In one sentence?