What NOT to say during moments of intimacy...

In my time, I have been moderately successful in wooing plenty of lucky young ladies, to the point that I have managed to convince them to accompany me to the four poster while they are still sober.

Having completed the necessary preliminary mating ritualistic manouvres, and having convinced them that bodily restraints will heighten the enjoyment, intercoursial activity has been achieved, sometimes without the aid of a Kitchenware magazine.

Now, dont get me wrong, on several occasions the ensuing frenetic activity has been moderately enjoyable. Almost as good as watching a day of Cricket, in fact.
However, many Corporeal scurmishes have been ruined by a peculiar habit of mine that becomes uncontrollable when the blood corpuscles have left the brain, in order to join their chums in my nether regions.

You see, I get a compulsion to yabber during the act. Anything that pops into the corpuscle-less brain, really. There I'll be, boinking away, trying to remember where I've left the keys to the handcuffs when BOOM, a thought pops into my head and is almost instantaneously converted into wordial form.
This is where things normally go downhill, and the corpuscles end up retreating to my brain before the task has been completed.

Maybe, it's what I say, that has caused many a filly to scream angrily, in spite of the ball gag, until the butler coughs at the door, and says that there is a phone call for me (our code, to get me out of an abominable situation of the floppy kind).

I can only remember three or four phrases, uttered during moments of excited verbosity, so maybe you could help me analyze whether it is this, that is causing such female upset and deflation of the penile status.
If you could, I would be awfully obliged.

OK, the few that I can remember at the mo, are:-

<ahem>






1. You look younger than you feel.

2. And to think... I was really trying to pick up your friend!

3. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

4. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies.

...and, (this one always does it, so it must be the worst, I guess)

5. Did I tell you my Aunt Gertrude died in this bed yesterday?


Are there any other phrases out there that one should avoid?



Signed Deflated of Droitwich.